The Goddess Aphrodite
by The Author's Mighty Pen
Summary: The goddess of love (little 'g') decided that John Bates and Anna Smith needed a little push to get them together. As she slowly encourages them- individually- to see the beauty of love with one another they start to see a future for themselves they never before imagined.
1. Chapter 1

He first saw her waving at the train station. Just a bobbing head in the distance with an enthusiasm he suspected was for some relative she had not seen in quite some time. He barely had a chance to give her anymore thought as he boarded his train, shuffling past some dairy farmers working their canisters onto the platform.

With all the hustle and bustle of the platform it was a miracle he could make his way through the crowds at all with his cane and his bag. A few people turned up their heads at the distinctive click on the concrete but most moved on to their business. He liked it that way. Appreciated when people paid him very little mind.

He found his seat, sitting as comfortably as possible on the older cushions that dug into his backside. This pain was nothing compared to what he endured on a daily basis. That aching throb in the thigh and the lock in his knee when the muscles spasmed and seized on occasion. Even worse when his leg twitched of its own accord and forced the shrapnel deeper into his muscles.

The train jolted and he moved a little in his seat. As he readjusted the seat across from him filled with the bobbing girl from the platform. He stared at her and could not seem to form words.

He had never seen someone so flamboyantly obnoxious. She wore a jacket of a material he could hardly identify, her hair was colored and cut short and jagged all over her head, her wrists were absolutely decked in bracelets and bangles, while her eyes were lined in kohl so dark he could only imagine seeing something similar at an exhibit he once glimpsed at the British Museum for Ancient Egypt.

"Whew," She removed her jacket and he gawked at her bare shoulders, ripped sleeves, and the multi-layered nature of her clothing. "I thought I wouldn't make it and be forced to hunt you down the old fashioned way."

She leaned forward, "Not my favorite way. Feels a bit like a cheat now that you have trains and motors."

"What?"

"This," She pointed around them, "This is a miracle. I used to follow people in flaming chariots and orchestrate love on horseback. Nightmare."

He did not have any idea what to think. He rubbed at his leg, more searching for something to do then actually needing the soothing pressure on his muscles. She pointed to it.

"War injury?"

"Yes."

"Boer War?" Her confidence in the question had him skeptical.

"Yes."

"Got it saving someone's life right?" She winked at him and he turned over his shoulder, looking at the mostly deserted train car.

"How would you know that?"

"The same way I know you're John Bates, most recently of London, and traveling to Downton in Yorkshire to take on a position practically thrust at you by your former army commander." She folded her arms over her chest, looking rather pleased with herself, "You're my new assignment."

"Excuse me?"

"You," She pointed at him, "Are about to fall in love John Bates and I'm going to make sure it happens."

John laughed, "As much as I appreciate the kindness I'm sure you mean in the gesture, you don't know what you'd be biting off if you even thought about trying that."

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow, "And why not?"

"Because I don't deserve nice things."

"That's just something you British men say when you want to self-flagellate. Martyrs, the lot of you. It's why I normally refuse the requests on behalf of you idiots." She blew out a puff of air that sent a strand of blue hair floating off her forehead a moment, "You're just so damn convinced that no one could love you or that you're beyond saving. No wonder you broke with religion in a general sense. Hard to convince you lot that anyone might actually want something good for you."

"And you want something good for me, is that it?"

"I'd like something good for you, yes." She put her elbows on her knees and leaned forward so all the necklaces dangling around her dark throat swung in time with the train. "That's why I'm here. To tell you to open your eyes."

"Are you an angel?"

"Pfffft," She waved a hand at him, "I wish."

"Then what are you?"

"I am a goddess. Little 'g'." She pointed toward the roof, "In reality I'm a pale imitation of something bigger and better than you've ever experienced but I want to give you a taste of it."

"Something bigger and better eh?" He laughed, "What could I have done to get something bigger and better?"

"Nothing." She smiled, "That's the beauty of it. This is not the sort of thing anyone deserves. It's a gift."

"And you want to give it to me?"

"I do. Very much so." She sat back again, "I want to allow you see that you, yes you John Bates, in all your beautiful brokenness, are worth loving. Someone out there, besides your dear and lovely mother, loves you."

"That can't be true."

"It can be. It will be." She shook her head, "It's a little bit of a trial, on my part, because she doesn't know quite yet either but she will."

"Who is this 'she'?"

The woman smiled, "You'll see Mr. Bates and you'll enjoy it."

She put her coat back on, struggling a second in a sleeve and stood. "This is where I get off."

"The train's still moving." John tried to stand but she put a hand on his shoulder and forced him back into his seat with a strength that surprised him for the willowy arms she had.

"I know. It's not a bother for me, remember? Little 'g' goddess." She clapped her hands together, "I look forward to us meeting again, this was fun."

"Will we meet again?"

"Very likely. I've got a feeling you might still succeed in mucking this all up and needing my help with it." She clicked her teeth, "But that's the way with you mortals, always getting yourselves into trouble. We still adore you though, for all your short-sightedness."

"What are you?"

"You know already. Goddess with-"

"A little 'g' yes," John shook his head, "I guess I mean more, _who_ are you?"

"Haven't you guessed?" She smiled and brought a hand up, "I'm the goddess Aphrodite."

She snapped her fingers and in a flash she was gone.

She pulled the covers tight with a snap and paused a moment to wipe her forehead with the back of her hand before helping gather the bedclothes for the laundry.

"I just don't see why they're all in a tizzy. They still have Lady Mary to take over the estate."

"But she's a woman. She can't inherit the title." She helped her fellow maid pick up the dropped pillow cover. "That's the way of it Gwen."

"It doesn't seem fair."

"No it's not."

They walked toward the servants' stairs when a voice rang out, "Anna?"

The petite blonde stopped, urging the ginger Gwen to leave her behind. "Yes Mrs. Hughes?"

"Have you checked all the guest bedrooms?"

"I did last night."

"Could you check the Princess Amelia again? I think they want their guest to stay in there tonight."

"Of course. I'll just run these to the laundry and be right back up with the clothes for Lady Mary and Lady Sybil so I'll check it on my way."

"Thank you dear." Mrs. Hughes touched her arm, "What would we do without you?"

"You'll never have to know Mrs. Hughes." Anna smiled and opened the door to the servants' staircase as Mrs. Hughes disappeared down the hall. As Ann turned to the stairs she stumbled back a moment, surprised by the woman leaned against the bannister there.

"Can I help you?"

The woman looked up and pulled at her peculiar jacket before smiling, "Probably not as much as I can help you."

Anna looked over the hallway and then into the stairwell. "What I meant, miss, is can I help you find someone?"

"I already have," She pointed at Anna, "You."

"Not sure it's me you're looking to find. But if you'll excuse me I need to get on." Anna tried to move past the woman in the tight turn of the stairs and felt an instant of gratitude that the woman moved slightly out of her way.

"It _is_ you I'm looking for." The woman sat on the bannister and slid herself along after Anna. The peculiar part was, she just sat there and moved without controlling her speed with her hands. She just glided. "I'm looking for Anna May Smith, head housemaid."

"And why would you be looking for me?"

"To make sure you're ready." The woman jumped off the end of the bannister as Anna stopped at the bottom of the stairs near the servants' dining room.

"For?"

"Love."

Anna stopped, still holding the sheets in her hands. "Love?"

"Love," The woman flicked the end of Anna's nose and Anna recoiled slightly.

"I think you mistook me for someone else."

"No, I didn't." The woman smiled, "I'm here to make you see, in the first second, what some people never see in their entire lives."

"What's that?"

"The potential in another person to make you unbelievably happy."

"And why should you show me that?"

"Because you, Anna Smith, have spent your life convinced you couldn't have something like that." Anna took a breath and tried not to react to the woman's statement, "But I'm here to tell you that you can have a life full of love. Something different than what you see for yourself right now.

"In fact," The woman raised an arm, a cacophony of jingling noises bringing Anna's attention to her bedecked wrist as the woman stared at something there. "He should be about here."

"Who should?"

"That'd ruin the surprise." The woman lowered her arm, pulling at the jacket made of a material that crinkled and groaned as she moved. "Just be aware that who you're about to see is fantastic… even though he doesn't see it right now."

"Who?"

"True love." She winked, "It's my job."

"Your job?"

"Yes, I am the goddess of love after all." She looked herself over, "I don't exactly look like the drawings but this is me."

Anna raised an eyebrow. "Goddess of love?"

"Yes, Aphrodite the one and only." The woman made a face as the sounds of Gwen's voice came from above them, "Well, got to dash, been a pleasure, and I'll probably be around."

Anna barely had time to speak as she watched Aphrodite vanish before her eyes. She huffed as Gwen joined her at the bottom of the stairs and another woman, with a pinched face and sour expression, came from the dining area.

"Are you going to stand there gawking all day?"

"No Ms. O'Brien I was distracted a moment and lost my hold on the sheets." Anna made a show of arranging the bedclothes in her arms, "I'd hate to ruin them."

"See that you don't."

Anna wanted to say something back but a clacking sound in the hallway drew her attention. A man walked toward them, leaning a bit on a cane in his right hand and holding a satchel in the other. He set his bag down to remove his hat nodded to the three women.

"I knocked at the door but no one answered."

"So you just decided to let yourself in then?" Ms. O'Brien practically sneered at him. "What business have you got here then?"

"I'm John Bates, the new valet."

Anna looked him up and down, feeling almost giddy for reasons she could not explain. She met his eyes and it was as if time slowed. She blinked and saw Aphrodite standing over John Bates' shoulder, pointing down at him with marked energy as if to say, "this is him."

Anna gathered her wits, cleared her throat, and arranged the sheets in her other hand so she could extend her right. "I'm Anna, head housemaid."

As she stepped toward him she realized he would have to move his cane to shake her hand and wanted to kick herself for being so thoughtless. But he moved with a graceful motion that transferred his cane to his other hand and gripped her extended one in a smooth glove. There was a discernable jolt that kept Anna's focus on John Bates as they seemed to explore eternity in one another's eyes in that brief second.

He released first and Anna stepped back as Ms. O'Brien's voice filled her ears with a definite grating sound. "You'd better come this way then and see Mr. Carson."

John took his cane back in his right hand, grabbed his hat and bag with his left and went to follow Ms. O'Brien. Anna sucked her bottom lip in and followed Gwen to the laundry, not breaking eye contact with John Bates until he left her physical sight.

What Anna couldn't know was the moment John walked down the hallway and caught sight of her, Aphrodite stood right behind her in a display pose as if pointing to the exact object John needed to buy at the market. John tried to ignore her as the woman with a dour face and equally oppressive voice spoke at him.

He answered politely and noticed the not-so-subtle way the woman stared at his cane. He wanted so badly to have a reason to respond to the unasked question just itching at the tip of the woman's tongue but he did not get the chance. At that moment the most beautiful voice he ever heard wafted toward him like a dream.

"I'm Anna, head housemaid."

The angel standing tall, with her arms full of bedclothes, and her eyes brighter than any sky he ever saw, stepped toward him with an outstretched hand. He did not even hesitate to move his cane to the grip of his other hand to shake hers. His grip was firm, his touch light, and her hand felt perfect wrapped in his.

He could not help but stare at her and only forced himself to break contact with her when he heard someone clearing their throat. He wanted to glare over this perfect woman's- Anna, yes?- shoulder at the pursed lips of a judgmental Aphrodite but he broke contact. He heard the tones of the other woman, face like a Scottish sky, and hurried to follow her.

He did notice the way Anna continued to stare at him and he watched her disappear as well. When he turned a corner, following the less desirable woman, he felt a nudge in his ribs and saw Aphrodite looking all too pleased with herself.

"What did you think?"

"Think of what?"

"Of her."

"Her?" John motioned toward the sour woman now speaking to a man with the most formidable eyebrows he ever saw.

"No stupid," Aphrodite slapped a hand on John's shoulder, "Anna."

"I-" John could not find the words to describe what he felt but in that moment he knew he would never have words for her. There just weren't any beautiful enough for her. Language failed to describe perfection.

"Just what I want to hear." Aphrodite beamed, "This is why I love my job. Love at first sight is so rare and beautiful I wish I could bottle it and sell it."

John could not respond as Anna returned, joining a gathering group in the dining room as John stood almost at attention before the eyebrow-ed man with a deep voice made for the bass section of a local choir. He caught her staring at him and wanted to focus on only her delicate features but the man- Mr. Carson if he heard correctly over the distraction- was asking about the duties of a valet.

"I can manage." John said politely, pulling himself off the cane slightly.

"'Course you can."

In three words this angel floored John. No one stood up for him so quickly, knowing so little about him, and with so much conviction it dispelled the line of questioning. John wanted to thank her but the room soon filled with the other servants looking to eat before they went about their other duties.

"See?" Aphrodite pointed across the table as Anna took a seat. "She already believes in you."

"Maybe she shouldn't."

"Don't be a spoilsport." Aphrodite pushed him, "The seat next to her is empty. Take it now."

John fretted a moment but Aphrodite pushed him with more strength, "Take the seat John Bates or I will sit you there myself."

John moved around the table and took the seat as Anna smiled at him. "Thank you, for standing up for me there."

"If you think you can manage then why should anyone else think differently?" She took her cup and sipped at it.

"They could be the ones in the right."

"I doubt it." She shook her head, "I think you know what you can and can't do and it's no one's business to say otherwise."

"That's very wise." He stopped himself, "You introduced yourself as Anna but I assume you have a last name."

"Smith," Anna hurried to put her cup down, "Anna Smith."

"Well, Ms. Smith, I shall have to work to put your faith in me to good use."

"I've no doubt you can Mr. Bates."

If only either of them had seen the way Aphrodite leaned over the table, head firmly in the crux of her palms, and sighed with happiness watching them, they might've felt embarrassed by the audience. But they were so wrapped up in each other they didn't see her… and that's how she liked it.


	2. Chapter 2

Anna watched John work and jumped at the voice of Aphrodite next to her, "He is wonderful isn't he? So glad he didn't have to leave."

"I wish you'd stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Appearing whenever you want." Anna grabbed her broom, "It's distracting and someone'll see you."

"No one'll see me if I don't want them to." Aphrodite leaned back over the bannister to look upside-down at the family crests on the far wall of the gallery, "I wonder what mine would look like."

"What about hear you?"

"No one hears that either." Aphrodite straightened, "See the thing about being a goddess, even if it is with a little 'g', is you can bend time and space around you."

"I don't understand." Anna went to the staircase and Aphrodite opened the door for her. "What does that mean?"

"It means that I pull us just enough out of the chain of events that no one sees or hears me and when you interact with me you're the only one to experience it." Aphrodite shuddered, "Learned that lesson when one too many of the potential couples I got together thought the other was mad because they seemed to speak to someone who wasn't there. Residents at the Nutter Center aren't really prime for romance."

"You've done this before?"

"Of course. Hundreds of times this year alone." Aphrodite waved her hand, Anna only catching the action out of the corner of her eye as she almost missed a stair. "I'm even working on at least three different romances right now."

"What?"

"It's complicated and pretty strange when I explain it but the version shorter than the bake time on a egg is that I can appear to many people at once."

"How is that possible?" Anna tucked the broom into the cupboard and went to check the assignments list before putting her sewing box on the table.

"I'm the anthropomorphization of true love."

"The what?"

"The physical representation of love." Aphrodite took the chair across the table from Anna, leaning over the space toward her, "How'm I doing so far?"

"I'm not sure really." Anna threaded her needle and pulled one of the silk shirts toward her, "I've never met a goddess before."

"Sure you have. You just didn't know it when you did." Aphrodite lounged back in the chair, playing with a few of her bracelets, "Although your Lady Mary can get quite self important."

"She is Lady Mary."

"She needs a man."

"She has someone." Anna frowned, "I thought you'd know that."

"Mr. Napier? Pffft." Aphrodite waved a hand, "That man's a poor puppy for her. She'll just drag him around on the leash he'll give her but she'll never bite. He's too easy."

"Then who would you suggest?" Anna put down her sewing a minute, digging around for her scissors.

"Someone who challenges her. Someone like Mr. Matthew," Aphrodite wiggled her eyebrows, "He's something isn't he?"

"I couldn't possibly say."

"Say what?" Anna started in her seat as John took the chair next to her, setting a few shirts and a pair of trousers on the table.

"Nothing." Anna felt her face redden. She caught sight of Aphrodite motioning as if to nudge her forward. "I was just thinking aloud about Lady Mary and her prospects."

"I'll say I was glad she didn't have to choose Lord Crowborough." He paused, setting out a number of buttons, "I wanted to apologize for how I acted that day."

"You were flustered, happens to the best of us." Anna smiled and poked herself with the needle, "Like that."

"Here," John took a handkerchief from his pocket and reached for her hand. Before Anna could respond he wrapped the cloth around her bleeding finger and held pressure there.

The feeling of John Bates holding her hand sent a simultaneous thrill down her spine and warmth in her fingers. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks and caught sight of Aphrodite, smiling so big her face would crack. Anna quickly took her hand back and ignored the gasp of frustration from across the table.

"Thank you. I think it'll be fine in a minute." Anna held her finger in her own hand.

She saw John's face twitch slightly, as if defeated by her move. A noise from across the table drew her eyes momentarily and she saw Aphrodite, eyes wide and emphatic and she urged Anna to say something else. Anna fumbled for something to say that would break the ice almost crackling between them.

She reached to put a hand on his arm, "It is thoughtful of you, to help."

"I do a good turn to those who do so to me." He paused, holding his own needle above a button, "And I wanted to thank you again for bringing me dinner the other night. I don't know what you heard but-"

"If I heard anything then I'll keep it to myself." Anna checked her finger and picked up her sewing again, "We all need a moment to ourselves when we feel low."

"I can't imagine you ever feel low Ms. Smith."

"We all feel low. We're all human after all."

"If you don't mind the possible impertinence of the question," John's focus seemed entirely occupied by threading his needle through a button and ensuring it was secure, "When have you felt low Ms. Smith?"

"Truthfully?" Anna finished the shirt she was mending and reached for the dress, pulling it tight to find the tear.

"I prefer truth."

"I felt low the other night, when I thought you might leave." Anna heard the hitch in John's breath but didn't want to give herself away but looking at him. "My heart broke for you, when I heard what happened, and I didn't want it to end that way for you."

She risked a look across the table to see Aphrodite watching the two of them closely. The woman rolled her shoulders and pursed her lips as though analyzing the situation. Anna shook her head and went back to her work but felt a hand on hers. She turned to see John, his eyes shining as if he only just held back tears.

"What you did for me was one of the kindest things anyone has done for me in some time."

"It was my pleasure to help." She put her hand over his, rubbing gently, "We all need someone who'll look after us in our times of need."

"Then I'm honored that you chose to look out for me."

"That's what friends do for one another Mr. Bates." Anna only just realized her hand was still stroking his and removed it quickly.

Aphrodite huffed a sigh and lolled her head back, as if exasperated with their actions. "You Georgians and your ridiculously repressed romance."

Anna ignored her, "I do hope you consider me a friend Mr. Bates."

"I consider you one of the finest friends I've ever had." John smiled at her, "And I haven't had many."

"Then count me among those that'll stay." Anna finished and packed up her sewing box. "I'll see you for tea then?"

"I'll save you a seat Ms. Smith."

Anna gathered the clothes and her sewing box, making her way back upstairs. She looked up to see Aphrodite standing at the landing, all smiles and giggles. Anna tried to push past her, "I'm not in the mood."

"That was gorgeous. Just now with all the honesty and the almost banter. Oh!" Aphrodite shivered, "Gives me all the best tingles."

"It's not like you were much help. Sighing and groaning like you would've done something different."

"I would've done a lot of things different but this is a learning experience for me." Aphrodite paused a moment, "How many stairs do you have to go up and down all day?"

"Does it matter? There's work to be done and this is how you get around."

"It'll give you a great ass." Aphrodite almost ran into her as Anna stopped, her jaw dropped. "What? All these stairs are great for your glutes and trust me, the eternal truth for men is that they happen to enjoy the view of women from behind."

"Is this what you'd rather we talk about?"

"As the goddess of love in a culture that painted phallic symbols all over their walls I'd have to honestly say no, I was thinking something a lot more risqué." Aphrodite shrugged, "As I said, this is an education for me."

"Education in what?"

"Deep, abiding adoration and true affection instead of lust and unbridled eroticism." Aphrodite sucked the inside of a cheek, "I could find those in any brothel I visit."

"So you play with my emotions because you want to learn something?" Anna faced her in the doorway of her room, feeling the ire rising in her, "How dare you?"

"You misunderstand," Aphrodite put a palm on Anna's forehead and held the back of her neck with her other hand. "I'm simply helping you along."

Anna felt her thoughts shift. She blinked but her vision clouded a moment. She felt cold, as if the temperature dropped suddenly and she was standing out in the courtyard by the servants' entrance. John was there, standing just within reach. She felt herself smiling but she couldn't say why and he leaned down to kiss her.

A moment later the view was gone and Anna stumbled slightly. A hand came to her elbow and Gwen's voice was in her ear. "Anna are you alright?"

"Just dizzy a moment. I'll be fine." Anna waved her off, noticing how Aphrodite stood to one side.

When Anna raised an eyebrow at her Aphrodite jerked a thumb at Gwen's retreating form, "She'll find her love later. Don't want to interfere yet."

"What did you just do to me?"

"Showed you a reality." Aphrodite straightened her shoulders, looking more serious than any of the times Anna had yet seen her. "That's what waits for you if you continue with him."

"That was one moment."

"Of many more." Aphrodite folded her arms over her chest, "Don't ignore the feelings you had the first time you met him."

"How do I know those were real?" Anna tucked her box into her wardrobe and arranged the shirts over her arm. "You could've put them there."

"I can't fabricate emotions or put them anywhere. I create situations that allow for emotions. I'm the decorator, not the baker."

"Then what's all this about affection and love instead of lust?"

"Well," Aphrodite sat on the edge of Anna's bed, "I used to market only in the temporary love doctors are now calling attraction or sexual appeal."

Aphrodite made a face, "Or maybe that's later… now I can't remember when it was but the point is I can't make what you felt for John Bates on the first day. It's not something I could bottle and sell to people because if I could I wouldn't be here now."

"So what I felt then was what?"

"Intrigue. Attraction. Hopeful… take your pick I have plenty more." Aphrodite smiled, "What you have a chance to develop now, with John, is so deep even I can barely fathom it."

"So it's not a passing fancy?"

"I should hope not." Aphrodite looked indignant, "I don't deal in 'passing fancies' anymore. I got tired of all the farm boys bedding the nearest milkmaid after a hasty 'I love you' without so much as a care for her needs. So five century."

Aphrodite turned to Anna, who was blushing furiously now, "It's not as if you don't know. You've read about what I did in Ancient Greece haven't you?"

"There's a difference between knowing and hearing you speak that way out loud."

"It'll pass. In another hundred years people'll say far worse to one another."

Anna frowned, "I don't care what people'll say a hundred years from now. What I care about is if I'm worth all your effort."

"Why would you think otherwise?"

"I'm not particularly special."

"I've yet to meet someone who isn't special." Aphrodite stared into space a moment, "I've learned so much from people who thought they weren't anything special and for someone who's lived as long as I have, that's really saying something."

"Then what are you learning now?"

"Slow burn romance." Aphrodite stood, "Don't get me wrong, things like lust and erotic behavior have their place, the bedroom is one of those places, and they're crucial to the relationships I've seen endure but they aren't the basis for real love."

"Then what is?"

"Not sure I could say."

"Is it some secret I have to discover for myself?"

"No," Aphrodite shook her head, "It's because I'm still learning about it and everyone so far is so different."

"You've got to suspect something?"

"For you and John down there?" Anna nodded. "Probably that you believe in him. He's not had much of that and you saying, on the first day ''Course you can' really lifted his sagging spirits."

"Everyone doubted him before they had a chance to see him."

"But you," Aphrodite pointed at Anna, "Didn't. Don't dismiss what you did. That made all the difference in the world to him at a time when he needed it most."

"How do you know?"

"You don't think I've only been pushing you do you?" Aphrodite winked and vanished, leaving Anna alone in her room.

John woke in the middle of the night, breathing heavy.

"Nightmare about the war?" He almost jumped out of bed when he saw Aphrodite sitting on the chair in the corner. She waved at him, "Morning."

"Can't be."

"You're right," She stretched, "It's technically morning since it's after midnight but I'd give you another two hours or rest if you want them."

"I don't think I could get back to sleep."

"Because of the nightmare?"

John punched his pillow and turned away from her, "It wasn't a nightmare."

"I know." He turned back around, holding the blankets around his waist and Aphrodite waved at him as though bored by his actions, "I asked to be polite."

"Then you know-"

"What you were dreaming about?" Aphrodite nodded, "I can't say she'd act pleased in public but pretty sure she's privately thinking along similar lines."

"That's not possible."

"What is it with men, in any age, thinking women are somehow sexually repressed to the point where they feel nothing? They have sexual desires too." Aphrodite stretched out as though on display, "Like me, Am I not the female goddess of love?"

"That doesn't excuse me."

"I didn't say anything about excuse. I also didn't say anything about shame either but you're feeling that right now."

"Could you say anything about feeling shame?"

"Fair point." Aphrodite stood and walked to his water basin, soaking the end of a rag and tossing it to him, "But you're feeling ashamed and that's not what we want."

"It's degrading to her."

"Why? That you find her physically appealing and want to be with her in a way that would have her crying out your name?" John reddened at Aphrodite's bluntness, "Please, if any man offered to do even half of the things you were thinking about doing to her to me, I'd move heaven and earth to get them."

John sat up, wiping his face with the cloth to more fully wake up, "She deserves better than me."

"Because you're a cripple? Because you're still married? Because your wife is a harpy?" Aphrodite spread her hands, "Which excuse will you choose?"

"Any of them will do."

"You're insufferable." Aphrodite stood, "A woman of good character and charming kindness wants nothing more than to get to know you, to be your friend, and perhaps be a little more than friends and you want to push her away because she, and I quote here, 'deserves better than you'?"

"That's the long and the short of it."

"Let me tell you a little secret, John," Aphrodite bent down so they were almost nose-to-nose, "Self-deprecation is not attractive."

"But I'm damaged."

"We're all damaged you moron." She rapped his skull with her knuckles, "Just because she looks perfect doesn't mean she is."

"How dare you!" John was up in a flash, standing toe-to-toe with this dark-skinned, gaudily dressed, infuriating woman standing bold as brass in his room. "How dare you speak about her that way?"

"You mean the same way you just spoke about yourself?"

John felt a little of his steam leave him, "She is without fault."

"If you'd paid a bit more attention in church you'd know that only one man was without fault and there's even debate on the truth of that."

"She's perfect."

"Glad you think so because it'll help you ignore anything that would irritate lesser men later." Aphrodite sat on the end of his bed and crossed her legs, showing off her knee-high boots made of a squeaking material like her jacket, and lacing all the way up. "Did you know she snores?"

"What?"

"Your Anna, the one you had a very vivid dream about. She snores. And she sneaks chocolate from the kitchens right under Mrs. Patmore's nose. She likes to sleep in to the last possible second and sometimes she'll even say she checked something she didn't so she doesn't have to trudge up an extra flight of stairs."

"What's your point?"

"That we're all flawed John. You, her, me. Oh, definitely me." Aphrodite bit her bottom lip a minute, "We're not perfect. Beating yourself with your sins to build your buffering wall against any feelings you have for her is futile and stupid."

'Because you know so much about love." John scoffed, "You couldn't even stay true to your husband."

"That's fair, and true." Aphrodite clicked her teeth, "But I'm not claiming to be an expert am I?"

John sat down next to her on the bed, listening the springs whine slightly. "We make quite a pair don't we?"

"Us?" Aphrodite pointed between John and herself, "Absolutely not. But you and Anna… that's something I want to see."

"And what would you be seeing?" John smiled at the corner of his mouth as Aphrodite caught a gleam in her eye.

"Only the first and last bits. I leave all the rest to imagination and my own experience. However," She leaned over to whisper in his ear, "If you want tips I'll be glad to pass some along to you."

"I think I can manage."

Aphrodite looked down and then back up, "I don't disagree… and she won't either."

John coughed as Aphrodite stood, "Sleep well John and please, give yourself a little credit. She deserves the attention you can give her while you can give it to her."


	3. Chapter 3

John could not get back to sleep. He tossed and turned for another half hour before he dressed himself and started down the stairs. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he almost ran into Daisy on her way up from the kitchens.

"I'm so sorry Daisy I wasn't minding where I was going."

"It's no trouble Mr. Bates." Daisy checked a window, "You're up far too early."

"Couldn't sleep." John shrugged, "I needed to stretch my legs, maybe get myself a cup of tea."

"That always helps me." Daisy made for the door and tried to rearrange the bucket and sheet in her hand but it slipped a bit but she only just caught it.

"Let me." John stepped forward to open the door to the landing, effectively blocking Daisy's view with his larger frame.

As he pulled the door open he saw Anna at the end of the hallway. He stopped as he saw what she was doing. Anna, Lady Mary, and Lady Cora were moving a body through the hallway. He leaned into the door as they turned a corner and allowed them to disappear before he opened it fully for Daisy.

"Sorry. It caught a bit on the carpet."

"I'm always telling Mr. Carson but he says the carpets are perfect and it's my imagination." Daisy smiled at John, "Maybe he'll listen to you Mr. Bates."

"I'll make sure I tell him." John nodded to her, "I won't keep you any longer."

"Thank you again for your help Mr. Bates."

"My pleasure Daisy." John waited for her to make her way toward the other bedrooms before he walked down the hallway where Anna had disappeared.

"She didn't do it you know."

"Geez!" John put a hand to his chest as Aphrodite, sitting on the bannister over the gallery and taking a file to her nails seemed completely unbothered, "Must you?"

"It's more fun." She examined her nails, "But I say again, she didn't do it."

"I wouldn't have thought otherwise."

"Just making sure," She filed at one of her nails hard for a minute before blowing on it. "He died of a heart attack."

"And you know this how?"

"You're not the only person I'm trying to push toward love." Aphrodite looked at him, "I tried to get Mary to be a little less interested in that man because, let's be honest, he's a tool."

"A what?"

"A wanker."

"How do you know that?"

"I tend to see the tears of broken hearts as well as the smiles of the whole." Aphrodite turned to face him, still perched on the bannister. "He was too caught up in his physical attraction and need to release that he missed the inconsistent pitter patter of his ticker. Serves him right, dickhead."

John shook his head, "You are a surprising individual."

"Aren't I just?" Aphrodite smiled at him, looking pleased with herself, "Go offer your help to Anna. She needs someone to talk to right now I think."

"I agree." John paused, "Why do you want me to see her right now?"

"Because she's just had a traumatic experience. Not as traumatic as Lady Mary, granted, but Anna needs someone to talk to about it. I think you need to make sure she knows you're on her side." Aphrodite patted his shoulder, "Be there for her. She needs someone in her corner who won't fail her."

"I'll never fail her."

Aphrodite snapped her fingers and pointed at him, "There's the attitude I like. Keep up that feeling and she'll be eating out of your hand."

John raised an eyebrow, "Is this what you do all the time?"

"Of course. What else would a goddess of love do?"

"I guess I just assumed you might have another job."

"Nope. This gig is on fire. Just like your suit." John immediately turned to check his coat but Aphrodite laughed. "It's an expression. Like, 'your suit is tight'."

"I've been meaning to adjust it but I haven't had the time."

Aphrodite sighed, "Never mind. Point is, I like your suit and you better hurry before Anna has to sneak back upstairs and get dressed."

John made his way down the hallway, ducking back a moment as a flustered Lady Grantham walked past, muttering to herself. Lady Mary followed not long after that, wiping furiously at her eyes and sniffing. He counted five before emerging to see Anna leaving a room and hurrying toward him. She was so lost in thought that she almost ran into him and he had to put a hand out to catch her when she backpedaled.

"Mr. Bates!" She looked up and down the hall, "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question but I think I saw my answer." He pointed at the room, "Are you alright?"

Anna held her arms in her short-sleeved nightgown. She shivered slightly and John removed his coat, wrapping it around her almost on instinct. She pulled it close to herself and she practically shrunk in the largeness of his coat.

"Thank you, Mr. Bates."

"My pleasure." He wanted to say something else but felt he should keep himself silent.

When Anna did speak her voice was as small as she looked in his coat, "Did anyone else see?"

"Daisy was behind me on the stairs but I think I blocked her view." John waved his hand toward the servants' stairs, "Perhaps I could accompany you back up to your room so no one sees you."

"I wouldn't say no to the company."

They walked as quickly as possible, while staying quiet, back up to the door to the women's quarters. Anna removed John's coat, passing it back to him as she put her other hand on the knob. She shuddered a bit as she took a deep breath but met his eyes.

"Thank you, again, Mr. Bates. Not many would've done what you did."

"Not many would've had the chance." He held his coat, using it more to occupy his hands than anything else. "I do hope, if you ever need anything in future, you'll come to me. We are friends, after all, and friends help one another."

"They do, don't they." Anna put a hand out but withdrew it, as though doubting her intentions.

Regardless of what they might've been, John took her hand. She gasped a little as he bent to kiss the back of it. He made sure his eyes never left hers, even after he released her much smaller hand. They stayed staring at one another until the sound of a keys rattling on the other side of the door had them both jumping to action.

John hurried down the stairs as fast as he was able, keeping his cane from clacking on the stairs and giving him away as the voice of Mrs. Hughes came from above.

"Anna, you've got a chill. What are you doing up so early? Nothing nefarious I hope."

"No Mrs. Hughes, I had a cough and went for some Epsom salts in the kitchen. I'm much better now."

"Good. We've still got guests in the house who need us at our best."

"Yes Mrs. Hughes."

John shook his head, wondering how the unshakable Mrs. Hughes would react when she discovered the body of one of those guests in their room, very dead. He smiled a bit to himself, though recognizing the macabre situation, when he thought of the gasket Mr. Carson would blow about the indignity of someone dying in the house. John just thought of the traumatized Lady Mary and the shivering Anna.

"They're made of finer stock."

John grabbed the bannister as his step caught and he saw Aphrodite leaning in a doorway, checking over her jacket. "What?"

"You were just worried about the constitutions of poor Lady Mary and your dear Anna." Aphrodite replaced her coat, "They'll be fine."

"I wasn't worried and she's not my dear Anna."

"But you'd like her to be."

"That's not the point."

Aphrodite closed her eyes and shook her head, "Please don't tell me we're about to have the same conversation twice in one day." She opened her eyes to John's tight jaw, "I knew you old British men were 'stiff upper lip' and all that but I didn't think you were dense. I just thought that was breeding."

"She can't be mine."

"Ugh!" Aphrodite dragged her fingers over her face, "She can be."

"Even if I thought I was good enough for her, which I don't, there's still the not-so-small matter of me being married."

"What if I could solve that for you?" John narrowed his eyes as Aphrodite nodded, "What if I could find your wife and get her off your back for you… metaphorically speaking?"

"How could you do that?"

"At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I am a goddess. So it's not a strain on the membrane to think I can't find someone if I want to. I happen to know a few other people in my particular field very good at delivering messages and all that."

"But you're the goddess of love, little 'g' or no." John insisted and noticed Aphrodite didn't seem to grasp his underlying meaning. "My wife is incapable of love."

"That's bullshit." John gaped at her and Aphrodite waved it off, "Everyone feels love. True she doesn't feel it for you and the closest you two ever got was a lustful, almost violent affection but there's still a grain of love somewhere in her cold, black heart. It may be self-love but I happen to know a man who's the expert in that I can consult if need be."

"And you'd go to that sort of trouble to help me?"

"I go to this sort of trouble to help anybody." Aphrodite waved her bracelet-covered arms, "It's what I do. Y'all mean a lot to me and I happen to like doing what I can to help humanity."

"So this is just a day's work for you?"

"Sort of." She leaned in conspiratorially, "Though I admit I happen to be rooting for you a bit stronger than I root for other people but don't tell them. I hate to inspire jealousy."

"What?"

"You're my favorites, don't tell the others."

"Somehow I don't believe that."

"I'm a changing person. Trying to turn over a new leaf as it were but you can believe what you will." Aphrodite shook herself out, "Just keep an eye on Anna will you?"

"I won't do anything else."

"Not what I-" Aphrodite sighed, "Forget it."

She vanished and John finished his trek downstairs for the tea he intended to grab almost two hours ago.

She drummed her fingers on the table and lolled her head back. She lifted at a scraping sound as the five other chairs at the table were pulled away. She smiled at the two women, two of the men, and tried not to make eye contact with the last man. One of the women, with arms thicker than the scrawny man next to her, spoke first.

"What's this all about Aphrodite? I'm busy trying to get distantly related family members to not think about starting a war with one another."

"And I'm trying to keep suffragettes out of prison." The other woman eyed the occupants of the pub, "Though I rather think we could do with a few more of them in here."

"Athena, Artemis, lovely to see you both." Aphrodite turned to the scrawny man, "And thank you for taking time away to help me Hermes."

"You said you'd put in a good word for me with a friend of yours," Hermes adjusted his glasses, "I'm busy trying to inspire a tech boom in Silicon Valley right now and I can't just pop back here anytime you want me to so this better be worth it."

"This is the first favor I asked for since you delivered letters between Victoria and Albert so please give me some credit." Aphrodite turned to the man with skin that seemed to glow slightly, "I'm surprised to see you here Apollo. Still getting your tan on?"

"Gotta stay fit." Apollo winked at her before taking his own scope of the pub, "Though there's not much sun for that here, which explains the plethora of delicate complexions."

"It doesn't matter." Aphrodite turned to the last man, "Nice of you to come Hephaestus."

The last man, more solidly built than Apollo with arms thicker than Athena's and holding an ornate cane nodded, "Thought I could be of some assistance."

"And you can." Aphrodite turned to Hermes, "I need you to find someone."

"Who?"

"Vera Bates. Irish woman, wife of John Bates, and is somewhere in the British Isles."

"Not a lot to go on."

"You once found someone in the darkest jungles of Africa with nothing more than a description. At least you have a name this time." Artemis spoke up, "What do you need us for?"

"I need her to realize some things and I need your help for that."

"Like what?" Apollo snorted, "Can't see someone like her being too interested in what we have to say."

"She needs to focus her otherwise malignant energies on something more constructive."

"Like?" Artemis raised an eyebrow, "Can't say I'm going to be of much use since I'm the goddess of chastity and she's obviously not in the mood for that kind of help. Adulterers rarely are."

"Then get me the proof I need that she's not been true to her wedding vows."

"Weddings and marriage are more Hera's thing and," Artemis made a show of looking around, "You didn't invite her."

"I also didn't invite Ares because I don't want this to turn into a personal war between a bitter, selfish woman and the man who married her." Aphrodite tried not to look at Hephaestus. "You're the people I need."

"So Hermes finds her, Artemis finds the proof of her infidelity, and we," Athena pointed to herself, Apollo, and Hephaestus, "Do what, exactly?"

"I need you," Aphrodite pointed to Athena, "To speak to her first. Try to help her see reason when I get some divorce papers to shove in her face. Exceeding wisdom and all that."

"Why not try to get them to live happily ever after?" Apollo leaned back in his chair, winking at a man across the bar who hurriedly looked back at his own drink. "They are married after all."

"Not all marriages are made for the right reasons and some people shouldn't be together." Aphrodite saw the way everyone's eyes at the table dart toward Hephaestus. "She needs someone who's not John Bates."

"Then what do I do?" Apollo rolled back his shoulders, "Can't really see how the god of light and music is really going to help unless you want some mood setring."

"Since I didn't actually invite you I don't have anything for you to do." Aphrodite made a face, "Why are you here anyway?"

"Him," Apollo jerked his thumb back to the guy at the bar, "I think he's kind of cute and I wanted to get a closer look."

"Then by all means don't let us keep you." Athena rolled her eyes, and Apollo left the table, joining the man at the bar. "How soon do you need this done?"

"I'd like them to be divorced before the war breaks out."

"Worried something might cock it all up?" Hermes scanned the menu before blinking and a bowl of chips appeared before him.

"I'm worried that she will try to claw her way to something if there's profit in it for her and I'd rather not let that happen." Aphrodite focused on Athena, Artemis, and Hermes, "This marriage needs to end as quickly as possible."

"Well we never were very good at keeping people together." Athena stood, "I'll try and talk some sense into the woman but I don't hold out much hope. She's a nasty one and I've met some people lately."

"The best you can do is enough." Aphrodite stood too, shaking all their hands but waiting a moment for Hermes to brush his on his jeans. "This couple is worth the effort."

"I should think so. You haven't asked for help in decades." Hermes took his bowl of chips and winked at her, "I'll find her."

With bright flashes the three of them disappeared, leaving Aphrodite and Hephaestus alone at the table. She put her hands together, rubbing her thumbs a second before smiling at him, "You look good."

"I hope so. I've been making weapons for people convinced they need to prepare for the greatest war the world has ever seen." He shrugged, "Your boyfriend would know all about that."

"He's not my boyfriend anymore."

"But he was your lover."

"I really hate that term," Aphrodite shuddered, "It just sounds so gross."

"Well it might not be the love you're trying to inspire in this couple but it was something." Hephaestus put an arm across the back of his seat as he sat sideways, "I think your son Eros would describe it as erotic love but then he usually sides with his father."

"I asked you here for your help."

"Yes," Hephaestus scoffed, "You always come to me when you need something. I'm the one you crawl back to."

"I'm not crawling."

"It's a metaphor." Hephaestus sighed, "What do you want?"

"Your perspective." Aphrodite made sure Hephaestus looked at her, "He's a lot like you, you know."

"Is that what this is? A pity game?"

"No," Aphrodite shook her head, "They belong together."

"And we didn't?"

"I was young and stupid then. What did I know about what really matters about love?"

"What do you know now?"

"That's not fair." Aphrodite let out a breath in exasperation, "I'm doing the best I can, trying to understand what deep love is, and I think they're the perfect people to teach me."

"So you're helping them to get pointers?"

"If that's what you want to call it." Aphrodite took Hephaestus's hand and made sure he was looking at her. "I've been doing this a long time and I'm not perfect at it. Being the goddess of love doesn't mean you have any idea what you're doing but I see it in them. I can recognize that."

"What does it look like?"

"It's…" Aphrodite stared into the corner a moment, trying to find the words. "I saw the way her face lit up the moment she laid eyes on him. She saw a future in that moment she'd never allowed herself to consider before. And he saw something worth living for. For two people who've suffered enough they finally see a light at the end of their tunnels."

Aphrodite almost laughed, "I've never seen anything like it."

"Not even Victoria and Albert? Or Wilbur and Barbara? Or-"

"Not even them." She realized she was still holding his hand, "I want to make this right for them. They deserve this happiness."

"Do we?"

"Maybe." She shrugged, giving a half-smile, "Maybe if I can get this right then I'll know how to love better."

"Love who better?"

"I deserve that." Aphrodite released his hand, "But I would like to think I could learn to love you better."

"Because he reminds you of me?"

"A bit."

"Then speak to his need to protect her from everyone else." Hephaestus captured Aphrodite's attention, "Make sure he knows she's worth more than anything and he's all she ever wanted. If not then he'll always doubt that such a beautiful woman loves him truly. He'll doubt it forever anyway but make it easier to bear."

They sat in silence for a moment before Aphrodite felt the lightest of brushes against her bare arms as Hephaestus stroked his finger down the line of bangles. "You still wear them?"

"How can I not?" Aphrodite played with them a moment, "They were made with love by someone who loves me."

He smiled, "Speaking of…" He took a ring out of his pocket and put it on the table between them. "I still have it."

"And I have mine." She dug in the necklaces at her neck and held out a plain band on a plain chain. "For all the jewelry I've owned this is my favorite."

"That's how you help him realize he's all she wants." He took the ring in his fingers, running his thumb along it. "Constant displays of affection and concern. It'll help them realize what they mean to one another."

"Thank you." Aphrodite put her hand on his and they stayed that way for a moment before he cleared his throat.

"I need to go." He took the ring from the table and put it in his pocket. "Lots to do since Athena's not really had a good run of trying to get people to not kill one another. Your boyfriend's better at encouraging them to fight."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Well, whatever he is, he's a dick."

"Yes he is." Aphrodite smiled up at Hephaestus as he stood, taking his cane, "Thank you again for coming."

"I'll always come when you need me." Hephaestus kissed her hand, "I wish you luck with these two. I've never seen you talk about anyone with this much adoration."

"You'd feel the same if you knew them."

"Maybe I already do." He winked and vanished, leaving Aphrodite alone in the pub.


	4. Chapter 4

Anna sniffed and tried to breathe through her congested nose. She leaned her head back against the wall and blindly swiped for some tissues. One was pressed into her hand and she just groaned when she saw Aphrodite there.

"What a way to greet someone." Aphrodite handed her another tissue and took the used one, debating what to do with it a moment before lobbing it into the bin. "And here I thought we had a good thing going."

"Not when you appear in my bedroom when I'm not up to seeing visitors."

"Pfft," Aphrodite batted away the comment, "You're gorgeous inside and out all the time. Don't even worry about it."

"Why you here?"

"Keep you company." Aphrodite adjusted in her chair, "I've got nothing else to do you know."

"Except watch me blow my nose and try not to feel like my head's caving in on me?"

"Since I can't get my brother Apollo to help out with whatever alternative medicine he found, yes, that's about it."

Anna thought a minute about the comment before changing her mind, "You've been away a few days."

"I don't always stick around."

"I thought you had nothing else to do."

"At this moment, not in general. I'm trying to get Lady Mary and Mr. Matthew together as we speak come to think of it. And there are others, like yourself, all over the world who need a little push in the right direction."

"Without you they'd all just tumble to nothingness?"

"No, I'd never say that." Aphrodite smiled, "There'd be a lot less love in the world though if I didn't."

"How do you know I love him or he even loves me?" Anna blew her nose into the tissue, "You could be wasting your time."

"My dear," Aphrodite passed over the glass of water and took the tissue, "I once inadvertently led to the start of a very large war because I believed in love. Trust me when I say this relationship will end much better than that one did."

"Paris and Helen weren't in love."

"Which is why this one will end better. You actually love John." Aphrodite tossed the tissue away and Anna felt her cheeks redden. "I'm the goddess of love, I see it in your eyes."

"See what?"

"There's this distinctive twinkle that the love-struck get." Aphrodite shivered with a grin, "I love that look. Gives me hope."

"Does it?"

"Of course. How else could you be sure you're doing your job right?"

"So you see it in my eyes," Anna continued forward, "It doesn't mean you see it in his."

"You don't really think I'd leave all this to fate and only work one end of it do you?" Aphrodite raised an eyebrow, "Please have a little more respect for my experience. I'm not a beginner at this level. I told you before you're not the only one I visit."

"He talks to you?"

"More I talk to him since he's kind of a brooder but I like that in a man. It tells me he thinks about things and so many don't. Probably helps that he's a little older, seen a few things, means he's-"

"Then what do you tell him about me?" Anna interrupted then pulled the blanket up, suddenly embarrassed and needing a sense of comfort, "You don't tell him about what I say to you do you?"

"Have some respect for my professionalism." Aphrodite tossed her head, "I keep everything the two of you say to me in strictest confidence."

"Then you can't, give him a message or anything?"

"What are we in middle school?"

Anna furrowed her brow, "What's middle school?"

"It's… never mind, you'll never go and it's an American thing anyway… in probably fifty years. Point is," Aphrodite pulled a leg up on her chair, adjusting her ankle-high boot, "I'm not your secret messenger. You want that you contact Hermes and since he's busy with something right now you're shit out of luck in that field."

"You don't speak like a lady."

"Then isn't it a good thing for both of us that I'm not?" Aphrodite stopped, cocking her head to one side, "Huh, I think I hear something."

"What?"

Before Aphrodite could respond Anna heard a rap at the door to the women's rooms. She paused, not sure if someone just bumped it coming out of their room, and listened. She saw Aphrodite's smirk out of the corner of her eye but ignored it as the tap happened again but someone's voice came with it this time.

"Anna?"

Anna pushed back the blankets, pulling an extra from the end of her bed to wrap around herself, and she pattered quietly to the hallway.

"Anna it's me."

Anna put her body as close to the door as possible, holding the blanket around herself, "Mr. Bates?"

"Yes. Open the door please?"

"I can't. It's against the rules. Mrs. Hughes would be furious."

"I'm only here to give you something and I promise I'll stay on my side of the door." Anna noticed his shadow did seem a little oddly shaped. "Please?"

Anna heard a noise from her room and saw Aphrodite standing in the doorway. She waved her on, pointing to the huge key hanging by the door. Anna took a deep breath and grabbed the key, turning it in the lock to open the door.

The sight of John, holding a tray in one hand, took her breath away. She grabbed at the blanket, trying to cover her nightgown, and wished she didn't look like she did. Her nose was red and raw from blowing it to clear her head. Her hair was only pulled back enough to keep it out of her face. Over all she wished she wasn't staring at him like this.

But he just beamed at her. She'd never had anyone stare at her the way he did just then. He held the tray out toward her and Anna tried to find words.

"You shouldn't-"

"Shhhh." He urged her to take the tray and she secured the blanket around her arms before doing so. "Now drink the soup and sleep. You'll feel better if you do."

He went to leave but Anna called back to him. "Mr. Bates."

He turned and she twisted to set the tray on the floor and pulled the blanket around her a bit more before walking toward him. John just waited. He leaned on his cane a bit and she realized he'd carried the tray up the stairs one handed to give it to her. She swallowed, suddenly finding it hard to breathe but not because her nose was clogged to the back of her skull.

"I'm sorry." He gave her a confused look, "That we couldn't go to the fair together. I wanted to, very much, and for all that happened today that makes me the most gutted."

"I'd rather you be well then drag yourself around a fair with a cripple like me."

"Don't say that." Anna put a hand on top of the one holding onto his cane. "I don't see you that way and you shouldn't think I do."

"And how do you see me Ms. Smith?"

Anna gaped a minute, moving her jaw like an asphyxiating fish. She saw Aphrodite urging her on from over John's shoulder and finally found words, "I see you as my friend and someone for whom I care very deeply." She took another breath, "Perhaps as more than a friend."

John cleared his throat and Anna had the urge to wipe at his glistening eyes, "That means a great deal to me, Ms. Smith."

"Anna."

"What?"

"Please call me Anna. Everyone else does and I want you to as well." Anna smiled, as if trying to make a little more light of the heaviness of her feelings, "I'd think if we're friends you'd call me Anna."

"I would." John stepped slightly closer to Anna and she felt it difficult to hear anything over the pounding of her heart. "But I don't want to be like everyone else. You deserve to be respect, cherished, and honored."

"And how would you do that, Mr. Bates?"

"By addressing you in the most respectful way I can imagine." John took the hand she put over his on his cane and lifted it to his mouth to kiss it. "So I bid you goodnight, Ms. Smith, and I hope to see you well in the morning."

Anna felt him drop her hand and before her courage could fail her she reached up her right hand, took the left side of his face, and pulled his right cheek down to her level while she stood on tip-toe to kiss him.

The electric thrill she got when he kissed her hands multiplied ten-fold when her lips touched his cheek. She felt him shiver and his hand covered hers on his cheek as her lips lingered. Anna felt her leg shake and she pulled away from him, smiling. "I intend to be well tomorrow."

John only nodded and walked away, the comforting click of his cane on the wood setting Anna's pace as she walked back to the women's side, locking the door only after he went down the stairs and out of sight. She waited against the door a moment, breathing better than she had all day, and pushed off to grab the tray. She lifted it and almost ran into Aphrodite. The little 'g' goddess had her hands up to her mouth as she practically bounced up and down on her feet.

"That was the most romantic thing!" She squealed and Anna moved past her into her room. "How can you not be sure he loves you?"

"We do a lot of things for our friends." Anna sat on the bed, pulling the cover back from the soup and inhaling as deeply as possible.

"I distinctly remember you saying that you are more than friends."

"He didn't say it back."

"Oh please!" Aphrodite groaned with her whole body in an exaggerated slump toward the floor, "He calls you 'Ms. Smith' because no one else does and he wants to respect you. What kind of man says that to his friend?"

"He's a different sort of man."

"Which is kind of the point." Aphrodite leaned over the metal frame at the end of Anna's bed. "Please don't go throwing this away because you're afraid he might not feel the same. Some people keep a tighter lock on their emotions you know."

"I know." Anna sipped at the soup, "I don't think that's all."

"How do you mean?"

"I think he's hiding something. There's something about him that he doesn't want to tell me and that's fine, I don't need to know, but whatever it is he doesn't love me like I love him."

"Maybe he's not allowed to just yet." Aphrodite chewed on her bottom lip and Anna narrowed her eyes at her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Bullocks." Aphrodite sat on the end of Anna's bed, tucking her folded legs under herself. "I don't break confidences so what I'm about to tell you will sound vague and unhelpful but'll make sense one day."

"Okay?"

"He loves you but he can't give you his whole affection right now because there are mitigating factors."

"You're right that's unhelpful."

"Look it's not like I'm not trying to do all I can to break through your walls too." Aphrodite sighed, "Just know that I've called in a few favors to work through what's keeping him from complete dedication and favors to me aren't easily gotten."

"So you know?"

"Of course I do. I'm a goddess."

"But you won't tell me?"

Aphrodite grew serious a moment, "Would you want me to tell him what I know about you and your step-father?"

Anna shrunk back into her pillow, her voice small, "No."

"Then trust that when he's ready he'll tell you the way you'd tell him." Aphrodite put a hand on Anna's. "This is about trust. Ask him straight up so it's not just kicking around your brain. He's not telepathic."

"Not what?"

"He can't read your mind. Fastest way to ruin a relationship is to assume someone knows what you mean or what you want." Aphrodite checked her wrist, "Oh man I've got to bounce."

"Do what?" Anna didn't get an answer as Aphrodite vanished.

She shook her head and went back to eating her soup.


	5. Chapter 5

Anna giggled to herself as she listened to Mrs. Hughes berate the state of Ms. O'Brien's room. She looked down the hall and saw John standing in the open doorway, a similar look of amusement on his face as Mr. Carson gave a very stern lecture to Thomas.

Anna moved down the hallway and tapped him on the shoulder. John turned with the motion and smiled at her. He leaned down and Anna suppressed a shiver as he whispered close to her ear, "Thank you for your help. I'm not sure I could've fought this on my own."

"Then I'll accept your gratitude if you'll accept that you don't have to fight any of it on your own." She turned more toward him, folding her arms over her chest, "The other day, when you took Gwen's side about the typewriter, you agreed that there's a difference between secret and private."

"I did."

"Mr. Bates," Anna licked her lips, "I just want you to know that while I respect there are things in your life you want to keep private, and I'll never pry into them, you can count on me like I count on you."

"I'm flattered that you depend on me, Ms. Smith."

Anna looked around the hall but everyone was still preoccupied with the searches, "You're keeping a very big secret for Lady Mary and that's no small thing to me. More than that you've been nothing but kind to me. I promise that whatever you have bristling under your skin you can share with me in confidence and it won't change what I think about you."

"Wouldn't it?"

Anna shook her head, "No. That's what happens when someone cares for you. They care no matter what. _Love is not love if it alters when alteration finds_."

" _It is an ever fix'd mark._ " John's voice gave Anna goose-bumps and she laughed quietly.

"That's not the next line."

"No, but it's the more appropriate next line." He stared at her and Anna forgot time existed for a moment. "Your offer means a lot to me and I only ask that you trust me when I say, should the moment ever come when I need someone to confide in, you'll be that person."

Anna smiled, "Then I'll wait patiently for that day, Mr. Bates." She giggled at the sight of those in the hall, the searches dying down, "I'm still surprised you didn't try something devious yourself in return."

"Well," John shrugged, "I may not've paid much attention in church but I do remember being encouraged, rather strongly, to turn the other cheek."

"They may not deserve it."

"We don't give things to people because they deserve them."

"If only we thought that way a little more about ourselves." Anna pretended not to notice the way John stared at her with that comment, "Goodnight Mr. Bates."

She walked away, urging herself not to look behind her as she went back to her room. Gwen was all in a tizzy in the corner, chattering about something Anna didn't catch but all Gwen needed was someone to pretend to listen and Anna could do that. She took off her uniform, hanging it in the closet as she thought about what John said.

"Told you there was hope." Anna almost hit herself with the wardrobe door as Aphrodite knocked on the side of it. "Your roommate's gone to the toilet and when she comes back she might have a question or two for you on your opinion about the searches and who you think did it. I'd be honest with her."

"I'm always honest with her." Anna removed her nightgown and pulled it over her head.

"More honest than you are with yourself that's for sure."

"That's not fair. I've been completely honest."

"Honesty would've had you making out with that man ages ago." Aphrodite blew air upward to send some purple streaked strands of hair back into place. "But I see what you mean."

"Do you, really?" Anna shut the door, "Because if you understood you wouldn't be constantly scaring me or pushing me into this."

"It's not like you need the pushes at this point."

"Then why are you still here?"

"I like your company." Aphrodite sat backward on Anna's chair as she pulled the bed covers down. "And I want to make sure you don't lose hope."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because he's stubborn and self-deprecating, and a martyr if I ever met one." Aphrodite paused a moment, "Not the greatest martyr I ever met but definitely up there in the self-flagellating section for honorable mention."

"You're not kind to him." Anna got under the covers.

"I'm honest about him and you should be too." Aphrodite leaned over the top of the chair, "He's worth every tear you'll ever shed for him, that I can promise."

"Can you?"

"I tend to be honest when it comes to shed tears on behalf of people we love."

Anna stroked the edge of her cover a moment, "Cried for someone yourself then?"

"More times than I care to count but can't help but remember." Aphrodite drummed a beat on the top of the chair before pushing off to stand. "I'll leave you be. Just remember, what you did tonight is a critical first step and I found it impressive. He did too, don't you worry."

She winked and vanished.

John rolled his eyes as Aphrodite shook her head from the corner. "I only have the one color suit."

"Liar I know you have a brown one in there and a gray." She shifted against the wall. "In a hundred years you could wear a cerulean suit if you want. Fashion and all that."

"I don't like blue."

"You like Anna's eyes."

John slipped a bit with his cane and almost knocked himself in the chin. He glared over at Aphrodite, "Mind your own business."

"You are my business."

"I wish I weren't."

"You won't when I tell you I found your wife." Aphrodite pursed her lips as John almost dropped the washbasin. He caught it before it hit the ground and Aphrodite made a noise, "Eek, watch what you're doing."

"You found her?"

"Technically a friend of mine found her but I have two other friends doing a little digging for me before I can present you with something I think you'll like a whole lot more."

"Like what?"

"An iron-clad divorce." Aphrodite jerked her head toward the door, "Better hurry or you'll be late for the flower show."

John scowled at her and started down the stairs. Anna milled around at the bottom, looking a picture in brighter colors than he usually saw on her. She looked up at the sound of him on the stairs and smiled.

"You look rather dashing Mr. Bates."

"I did put some effort in Ms. Smith."

They walked with the others toward the flower show, John lagging behind because of his limp and Anna insisting, without saying anything, on staying with him. They talked, not feeling the pressure of speech, until John dropped what he hoped was a compliment and Anna stopped in the middle of the path.

"I wish you wouldn't do that."

"Do what?" He saw Aphrodite drawing a line in the gravel with her boot, completely unhelpful in the moment he most needed her interpretation.

"Say things like you mean them."

"But I do." John tried to words, "Ms. Smith I mean every word."

"Then why say them?" Anna's jaw quivered slightly. "I can't take your compliments just to have you push me away the next moment I try to get close to you. It hurts me and I can't take it."

"Are you talking about what you said when I helped you change the sheets?" John saw Aphrodite nodding her head emphatically behind Anna. "I've told you I'm not free to give my affections."

"Then tell me why because I love you, Mr. Bates." Anna took a deep breath, as if reassuring herself in what she was saying. "It may not be ladylike to say it but I'm not a lady so I'm going to say it."

"You are a lady to me, and I never knew a finer one." John wanted to say more but a cart drove up to them, leading Anna to step to the side.

"Got room for one on the back if you want it."

John turned to Anna but she motioned him toward it, "You should take it. Give your leg a rest."

John was not sure if he should argue but climbed on the back, watching Aphrodite practically claw her own face off in exasperation. He got comfortable as the cart started to move and watched Anna walk after him. He sighed but flinched when he felt something punch into his side.

"You idiot!"

"Ow." John rubbed at his side, glaring at Aphrodite. "What was that for?"

"Because you didn't say it back to her." John hung his head as Aphrodite continued, "Why didn't you say it back? I know you love her too."

"Because I can't."

"Forget about your witch of a wife for one minute and think about what you want. Do you even know?"

"Do you?"

"Given my experience with this particular emotion, yes, I do." Aphrodite pointed to Anna, "You want her. Not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Everything about her sets you on fire in all the best ways… and some of the uncomfortable ones."

"It doesn't matter."

"But it does you moron." Aphrodite beat at him and John barely fended her off. "How can you be so dense? How did your Empire conquer the world when its men are so thick?"

"Hey," John captured her hands, "If you want to throw stones you had best be sure your house is not made of glass."

"Ohhhh," Aphrodite's tone was not jovial, "You want to threaten some missiles of your own you go right on ahead because you won't win that game. I've played this longer than you and I'm better at it."

"Then tell me what to do? How do I suppress the feelings I have for someone so much better than I am?"

"You don't, wingnut." Aphrodite shook her head, "You fall head first into it and you enjoy every second of it."

"I'm not a free man."

"No one's free."

"I'm married."

"I'm not telling you to take her as your mistress," Aphrodite pointed at Anna, much smaller in the distance now, though she'd caught up to Gwen and the others. "I'm saying don't let her feelings be in vain, not when you share them so ardently."

"What would you do, in my position?"

"Be honest."

"Because she'll enjoy knowing that I keep her at arm's length because I'm still married to another woman I'm obviously not in love with."

"Better than thinking you just want to mess with her emotions." Aphrodite sucked in her cheeks, "It's not the best situation and I'm not saying it'll be easy but someone once said _the course of true love never did run smooth_ and I know she'll appreciate it a whole lot more if you're just honest with her. Then she'll know you're fighting this battle together. Equally invested partners."

"You think she'll want to?"

"Why else would I be here?"

"Not sure why you picked me in the first place." John sighed and felt Aphrodite's hand on his shoulder.

"Because you've been fighting for far too long and it's time you felt that someone loved you. Besides," Aphrodite's mouth twitched at one end, "You remind me of someone I know."

"Someone you love?"

"Yes. Very much." Aphrodite removed her hand, "Enjoy the flower show if you can stomach yourself through it."

With that she vanished.


	6. Chapter 6

Aphrodite leaned over to Athena and pointed to the woman across the pub. "That's Vera Bates?"

"The one and only." Athena nodded and then drank her glass in one go. "She's a piece of work let me tell you."

"Didn't really get through to her then did you?"

"It'd be hard to get through to her since there's nothing but spite and venom in her. Honestly I think she survives on the cries of the innocent."

"That's dramatic."

"You won't think so once you talk to her."

Aphrodite rolled her shoulders as is psyching herself up for the confrontation. "Do you have the evidence?"

"Right here." Athena slid the envelope to Aphrodite, "Artemis apologizes but she needed to go help a feminism march in D.C. and Hermes sends his regards from the iPad launch."

"I wanted to see that."

"Why? To watch true love die over the Internet?" Athena left her money for the barman, "I'm off too. There's about to be a pretty big upheaval in the Song dynasty. Got to make sure wisdom prevails in the take over."

"Good luck." Aphrodite flipped through the contents of the folder before nodding. "I hope it goes well."

"I wouldn't put my bets on it. They fall to the Mongols." Athena vanished and Aphrodite walked across the pub to where a woman with dark hair, ice-cold eyes, and a calculating face sipped at her tea.

Aphrodite took the seat opposite her and Vera Bates raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

"Not as much as I can help you I'm sure."

"And how does a tart like yourself help a woman like me?" Vera put her cup back in the saucer and Aphrodite shivered.

"Oh, that was good. I'll have to keep that one in mind for later."

"Later?"

"For the next time I meet someone as frosty as yourself. Or" Aphrodite made a show of biting her bottom lip, "Someone as crusty as yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't plan to." Vera opened her mouth about to say something but Aphrodite continued, "Be as offended as you like but someone swimming in venereal disease rarely makes a great moral foundation for arguments about tartness."

"How dare you?"

"The same way you dared to cheat on your husband with this man," Aphrodite set down a photograph, "Or this one, or this one."

She waited as Vera studied the pictures and, for a second, seemed nervous. "There are others and I have their photos… as well as some rather detailed letters that tell me you weren't just their walking companions on Saturday nights." Aphrodite leaned over the table, "How did you face yourself in church on Sundays?"

"Who sent you?"

"Why does someone need to send me?" Aphrodite sat back, "Maybe I'm just your conscience clawing from the abyss, calling to you from the void to save yourself."

"Get stuffed."

"Not as often as you do." Vera stood to leave but Aphrodite snapped her fingers, "I'd stay seated if I were you."

Vera sank back to her seat, seething slightly, "What do you want? Money?"

"You don't have any to give me even if you wanted to. It's the reason you try to fleece the men you sleep with. It's why they were all willing to give statements about your actions. Apparently they don't really care to be swindled by their bedmates."

"You-"

"I wasn't finished." Aphrodite made sure Vera was focusing on her. "They're willing to bring a case against you in court for fraud and adultery because they all know you're married now."

"I'm not-"

"Your surname, Bates, is by marriage. One John Bates, wounded in the Boer War. He served two years prison time for your theft of regimental silver." Vera's eyes, if possible, seemed colder as she scowled across the table at Aphrodite. "I'm here to tell you that all this goes away if you sign these papers."

Aphrodite pushed three pages toward Vera and held a pen toward her. "In case you don't like reading as much as you hate work then I'll tell you these are statements of intent to divorce. You sign them, I file them at the nearest court, and you're a free woman in a month. You can infect whomever you like with what I'd bet good money is syphilis."

"I don't-"

"You're getting arsenic treatments." Aphrodite tapped the pages. "I know my way around the VD diagnoses."

"Had it yourself have you?"

"No. I've met quite a few people who have though. Poor buggers all thought they were in love and then got a lot more than they bargained for."

Vera eyed the pages and snorted, "Why would I want to sign these? Did Johnny send you? He hasn't got the balls."

"Mr. Bates didn't send me. I found you myself."

"Why? You giving him some and now you want him for yourself." Vera sneered, "He always was good in the sack."

"I've no doubt he is but I haven't had the pleasure." Aphrodite studied Vera and shook her head, "He was right about you though."

"Oh? What'd Johnny say about me?"

"He said you didn't have any love in you at all. I thought he might just be jaded but he's right. You're a heartless witch."

"He ruined my life."

"Oh boo frickin' hoo. No one cares about your sob story. You married a military man, things didn't go like you planned, and because you got unhappy you stole and ran." Aphrodite tapped the table, "You want to talk about how he ruined you life? Go right on ahead but I warn you, if you don't sign these papers, I'll destroy yours."

"Can you now?" Vera folded her hands, "I'd like to see you try."

"Don't play with me." Aphrodite shook her head, "You can't even comprehend the playing field I use and I'll crush you in a second without another thought."

"Try me."

"Maybe you haven't noticed that everyone in this establishment keeps staring over at us. It's not because I'm dressed in a peculiar way but because they can't see me. They only see you talking to yourself and spitting like a cat."

Vera took stock of the room and Aphrodite smiled as she continued, "What you need to understand is, I can choose who sees me. It's part of the benefit of being a goddess."

"A goddess?"

"Little 'g'." Aphrodite took a breath, "Point is, they all think you're crazy. If you don't sign these papers now I'll hound your every waking hour and all your sleeping thoughts. You'll go mad trying to get rid of me and when it gets too much they'll commit you or, and this is the worst-case-scenario, you'll toss yourself from those lovely cliffs a short walk from here."

Vera took a deep breath, her body visibly shaking, "You wouldn't."

"I'm the goddess of love bitch." Aphrodite kept her voice low, "Test me at your peril because the power of love is something you can't even comprehend and I'll use it to ruin you."

Vera clenched her jaw, "I don't believe you."

"And that's your business but not really a bother to me because you'll see the truth of it. You never loved your husband, any of the men before him, or any that came after. See you fill yourself with men because there's a hole in your heart." Aphrodite sighed, "It's pathetic really. You keep chasing hedonistic satisfaction because you don't know what it's like to love. You could've, once, but you chose yourself over him."

"He was a drunk."

"He only started drinking after he married you. That passion you thought you had with him fizzled and you didn't want to take the time to really love him because that would've been too hard." Aphrodite flipped the pen in her fingers, "Shame really."

"You don't know anything."

Aphrodite scoffed, "I know all about you. You're a coward and a bully. You're lazy, narcissistic, and selfish. You haven't got much of a heart in that cold cavern you call a chest cavity but what little there is could, for once in your miserable existence, be used to benefit another. I'm sure you can find it in yourself, despite the strain on your non-existent soul, to do something for someone else and sign the damn papers."

Vera tried to stare her down but eventually she grabbed the pen from Aphrodite's hand and signed the papers in a hurry. She practically threw the pen back at her but Aphrodite collected the papers calmly, taking them and the pictures and tucking them into the folder.

"I hope you rot in hell. There's a place there for people like you there to burn." Vera spit as Aphrodite stood.

"Yes, it's called the throne." Aphrodite went to leave but leaned over the back of Vera's chair to whisper in her ear, "And if you do anything to try and hurt John Bates or contact him or in any way set foot in his direction I will roast you alive."

By the time Vera Bates turned to see where Aphrodite went she already vanished.


	7. Chapter 7

John waited for Thomas and O'Brien to leave but stopped Anna, Mrs. Hughes, and Mr. Carson from leaving the room.

"Mr. Bates is there a problem?" Mrs. Hughes studied his face and he remembered her kindness in helping him rid himself of the limp corrector, her genuine concern over his welfare, and her compassion toward him. He felt almost wounded to have to say what was on his mind now.

John closed the door and gathered his breath to face them, focusing on Anna especially. "In light of what Thomas and Ms. O'Brien have just tried to do I feel I must be honest with you."

"Is there some truth to their story?" Mr. Carson raised one of his distinctive eyebrows and John shook his head.

"Not to that story. As I said, I've never touched a drop of alcohol since I set foot here at Downton but that doesn't mean I never did." He half turned to Anna, "I was once a drunkard and I served time in prison for being a thief."

"I beg your pardon?" John barely heard Mr. Carson's bluster, so caught up in Anna's confused expression he did not care what the butler had to say.

"It was before I came to Downton and why I lost my commission with the army." He stood tall, "I swear to you that I've done nothing in this house for which I need be ashamed but there are things I've done in the past that have shamed me."

"But why would you steal?" Mrs. Hughes shook her head, "There's more to the story than just that."

"The situation is inconsequential." John closed his eyes, "I stole, I served time, and I was a drunk. That is all you need to know."

"Mr. Bates, given this new information, I will have to inform his Lordship and have him weigh in on the matter." Mr. Carson huffed, looking very confused.

"I understand."

"Is that all?" Mrs. Hughes cut in, stopping Mr. Carson bursting a blood vessel.

"It is."

"Then please go about the remainder of your evening." She waved John toward the door and he nodded.

John left the room, heading for the courtyard. The air bit at his exposed skin but he needed it, needed that cleansing feeling of cold to give him the strength to face the reality that he may not stay at Downton much longer. He relished the way it crackled in his lungs. He deserved this kind of pain.

"Bet you regret not reporting on Thomas before now."

John pivoted to see Aphrodite lounging on a stack of crates. "You've been away awhile."

"Been busy solving a problem for you." Aphrodite waved a packet in the air, "I have here a notice that says you're almost a free man."

"What?"

"I told you, last time we chatted… well, second-to-last time we chatted, that I had a few friends helping me find your wife." Aphrodite came over to put the packet in his hands, "I got her to sign the documents necessary to agree to a termination of marriage. It took some cajoling at the public records office and a very nice lawyer, and a not-so-nice judge, but it's all processed. In two weeks you'll get a telegram telling you you're free of that harpy for good."

"But where will they send the telegram?" John did not even open the packet, just sat on a crate. "I may not even be here."

"Stop being so defeatist."

"How can I be anything else?"

"Lord Grantham's a good guy. Not always the brightest and definitely traditional but he knows you and he's not just going to buy that you got drunk and went on a thieving spree."

"I'm a danger to the reputation of this house." John hung his head and Aphrodite made a noise.

"Hmmm, in different circumstances, about ten years from now, members of the staff of this house could form a band called the Jailbirds."

"What?"

"Nothing." Aphrodite sat next to him on the crates, "Point is, people are better than you give them credit for and if you give them a chance to rise above they usually do. Your problem is you never give them the chance. You always assume that everyone thinks the worst of you and then you decide the quickest way to win is not give them a chance to prove you wrong and quit."

She tapped the packet, "Don't jump ship quite yet. You may have time for surprises you actually like."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Aphrodite looked over as the door opened, "Really."

"Mr. Bates?" John turned and caught the flash as Aphrodite vanished from view. He used his cane to stand as Anna came outside, shivering as her breath puffed in the cold. "Mr. Bates?"

"Anna?" He waited as her eyes found him in the dark and came toward him.

"What you said in there-"

"I understand if you think poorly of me."

Anna shook her head, "Of course I don't. I told you once, and I meant it then, that no matter what you tell me about yourself I'd never think the worse of you. It was true then and it's true now. Especially now."

"You mean now that you know I am a thief and a drunk?"

"You mean now that I know you once stole something and used to drink?" Anna crossed her arms, keeping her shivering body huddled for heat. "I think there's more to the story than you're saying and so does Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes."

"There's nothing else."

"You're lying, Mr. Bates." John's jaw almost dropped at Anna's forwardness. "You're lying because you're noble. Just like you wouldn't tell Mr. Carson who really nicked the wine you won't say now who really stole the silver because, for some reason, you feel responsible."

"I was."

"Not the way you say." She kept quiet a moment and John could hear her teeth chattering. He removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She tucked herself into it, her nose going to the lapel and smelling a moment before she met his eyes. "Will you really leave?"

"I doubt his Lordship wants a thief in the house."

"So you'd leave because of a past theft but let Thomas, a true thief, go free?"

"It's not my place to dictate what happens to Thomas."

"Then you, Mr. Bates, are acting a coward."

John hung his head, "Maybe I am."

"Mr. Bates-"

"Go to sleep Ms. Smith and dream of a better man."

"I can't." Anna insisted and John raised his head, "Because there isn't one."

John could barely breathe as Anna stepped closer to him. She swallowed, her eyes focusing on his lips. He thought about saying something but then her hand touched the side of his face and he was silenced by the electric thrill that ran through his body.

She kissed his cheek first, pulling back for only a moment. When their eyes met she surged forward and kissed his lips. That was when time stopped.

John could not react. He was too lost in the feel of her lips on his that he could not think. Anything beyond the sensations she sent zinging through him, even something as simple as breathing, seemed to take too much concentration away from the best feeling of his life. This was all he wanted to ever happen ever again.

Something kicked at the back door and Anna broke away, looking for the source of the sound. She gasped but John put his free hand out, wrapping around her shoulders when she moved away. He pulled her toward him and she came easily. He bet his head to take her lips with his again.

This time, with his hand at the back of her neck, he controlled the motions. She whimpered slightly into the kiss, bringing her hands to his cheeks, jerking him toward her. And when he ran his tongue over her bottom lip she sucked at it with all the fervor of someone trying to breathe him in.

John almost lost all sense as she moaned into his mouth. His hand went up into her hair, gripping lightly at the golden strands there. One of her hands moved to the back of his neck while the other gripped his waistcoat, urging him forward. He tried to adjust his footing but just fell slightly sideways onto the crates.

Anna gasped, covering her mouth with her hands, before giggling uncontrollably at the sight of him akimbo in the crates. He laughed as well, taking her hand as she helped pull him standing. "Serves me right for kissing you like that."

"Mr. Bates I'd take a tumble into a stack of crates any day for the chance of you kissing me." Anna took his hand and they walked back toward the door, "And I do hope we do it again very soon."

"Well," John stopped them right by the door and placed a kiss on both of Anna's cheeks before he put another chaste one on her mouth. "When I can kiss you in broad daylight, walk out with you like a gentleman courts a lady, and treat you with all the adoration you deserve, those kisses will be yours anytime you like Anna."

She smiled, "You finally used my name Mr. Bates."

"Because I'm almost free to do so." John looked up at the house, "I just hope I'll still be here when I can use your name."

"I have faith you will be, Mr. Bates."

"Then I'll rely on your faith until I have some of my own." He opened the door for her, "Best get back in before they catch us out of bed."

"I rather like the idea of being caught out of bed with you," Anna licked her lips, "Or maybe one day caught in bed with you."

John almost tripped over the doorway as she giggled her way inside.


	8. Chapter 8

Anna held her umbrella tighter as she got off the bus. She stared up at the regimental headquarters and barely noticed the presence at her side.

"I haven't been here in awhile."

"You've been here before?" Anna side-eyed Aphrodite, who only shrugged.

"Soldier boys fall in love faster than farmers. A lot of young broken hearts in there and a lot of old calloused ones."

"Sounds depressing."

"Not all of them are like that." Aphrodite pointed to one of the guards, "Him for instance, expecting his first baby. And that window over there is where a colonel of twenty years is celebrating his twenty-fifth wedding anniversary."

Anna smiled, "True love?"

"Most of the time. Sometimes it's enough that it's love." Aphrodite pointed to someone on the street, "That boy is loved by his parents in its form and that woman is loved for the moment by a man who won't love her in a short while."

"But it's all love?"

"Love is measured in degrees, not absolutes." Aphrodite shuddered, "But even I find it hard to understand how some people define love. What they do under the justification that they love someone."

"Then why do you have such hopes for Mr. Bates and I?" Anna's voice tinged with fear. "If love can be so fickle and unkind?"

"Because," Aphrodite smiled, "Every spectrum has its absolutes. You and John occupy the ideal end of the spectrum. The place where love is worth all. That man would die for you to be happy for even a moment and you'd give up everything just to be with him. That's love sweetheart, at its most unadulterated and pure."

"You said once you can't fathom our love."

"No, I can't. Just like I don't fathom lack of love. I live in the spectrum so the ends, to me, are foggy distances."

"Then how do you know we love each other like you say?"

"Because I can still feel it. It's like sleeping next to a fire. You can't see it, unless you're a weirdo who sleeps with your eyes open, but you know what it feels like."

"If you say so." Anna looked both ways at the road before hurrying across.

"I think it's more important if you say so, in the end." Aphrodite adjusted her jacket as they entered the barracks.

Anna found the sergeant-at-arms and gathered her courage as she walked up to him. In the corner of her eye she saw Aphrodite watching those who went by, occasionally pursing her lips as if measuring them like pickings at a fruit stall. Anna pulled out the scrap of paper where she wrote down her notes and consulted them before speaking.

"I need to ask for details about John Bates, a former sergeant."

"Bates?"

"B-A-T-E-S, yes."

"Anything in particular you need miss?"

Anna cleared her throat, "Just why he left the service."

The sergeant nodded, "If you'll take a seat here then I'll be back as soon as I can."

Anna sat on the bench, putting her umbrella next to her as she waited. Aphrodite took the space to her left and studied the ceiling a moment. Anna chewed the inside of her cheek before speaking, "What you said, back when I was ill-"

"Yes?" Aphrodite craned her head back as if following a detail in the architecture.

"What do you know about my stepfather and what happened?"

Aphrodite kept her gaze upward a moment. She seemed to somber up before she turned to face Anna, "That's something on the spectrum I'm a lot more familiar with. It's at the darker end but I know it pretty well."

"What do you mean?"

"Some people are screwed up. Experience or circumstance or whatever you want to use as your reasoning but some people are broken. They stutter and jump on the moral scale because they've lost their direction. It's no excuse for what they do but it does explain why they do it."

"So my stepfather-"

"Was an asshole through and through, no mistake. He, like so many I've followed through the centuries of my existence, thought that because he was a man, because he had 'needs', because he was entitled he could take something that wasn't his by force." Aphrodite shook her head, "Reminds me of my father actually."

"Your father, Zeus?"

"Oh yeah," Aphrodite laughed, "That man chased whatever he wanted. Greek mythology could be summed up in five words 'unfortunately, Zeus was feeling horny' and there you go, another problem."

Anna laughed and for a moment they both just enjoyed the joke. "What must it be like for you?"

"Even I can't say and it's my life." Aphrodite got serious again, "Maybe that's why I'm here. I'm trying to learn about love, True Love specifically."

"To understand it?"

"To feel it." Aphrodite rubbed her hands together, "I was born of sea foam. More honestly I was born to explain the lustful passions of men and women who wanted an easy way to say why they betrayed a significant other or why they shouldn't feel obligated to make up for their actions. I am the scapegoat for passions and actions people regret or don't want to feel accountable for."

"Must be terrible for you."

"By now I'm used to it. At least in your day people blame their body parts and loss of reason instead of saying 'Aphrodite made me do it'… thought there are a group of nutjobs who say 'the devil made me do it'." Aphrodite thought a moment, "Maybe they're just not specific as to which devil."

"And my stepfather?"

"His devil was drink. Still is probably." Aphrodite leaned over, "Between you and me, he got off easy."

"It's my mother and sister I feel for."

"And you should. Dude's a dick." Aphrodite put a hand on Anna's shoulder, "He stayed away from your sister you know. After you cut him the coward got worried it could happen again and take something he actually liked. Still a drunken coward but a little more careful about his lechery."

"But there are others out there, like him."

"Millions, unfortunately."

"And all those poor women who have nowhere else to turn."

"For every dickhead and bone-job out there who belong in the same rubbish heap as your stepfather there are two men like your father and at least one like John. Good, solid men who love their wives and their children with purity and honesty." Aphrodite pointed to the sergeant coming back toward them, "Like him. He's a decent guy. Remembers his wife's birthday and anniversary, loves his three kids, and even visits his mother in Newcastle on occasion. Those are the lovers I live for."

Anna stood as the sergeant came up to her, opening a large book. "I've got an address here for Sergeant Bates' mother."

"I'll take that if you please." Anna smiled as the sergeant handed her the slip of paper.

"Strange thing."

"What's strange?"

"Sergeant Bates." The sergeant lowered his voice, "All the evidence pointed to someone else but he served the time for the theft."

"Why did he serve?"

"He took responsibility for it. He said he did it, the silver was found in his house, and with a confession there was nothing else to investigate. But it felt odd. He wasn't the kind to do something like that. If you ask me he was covering for someone."

"Who?"

"That I couldn't say miss." He saluted, "Have a pleasant day."

"And you, sir." Anna headed for the exit, studying the address on the slip of paper.

"It's not far. We could go and be back in time for Mrs. Patmore." Aphrodite swung on the doorway as Anna debated outside the gate. "What's an hour in the course of investigation?"

Anna nodded and flagged down a bus, asking the driver about the address before claiming her seat. She kept her focus straight ahead as Aphrodite swayed in the seat next to her. "What are you doing?"

"I get bored on buses. Not my favorite way to travel."

"You have a favorite?"

"Of course I do." Aphrodite started numbering them off, "Airplanes, fastest thing yet. Then I'd pick a limo, bullet train, and a palanquin. I got so used to those in Rome it was ridiculous."

"Sometimes you speak English but I don't have any idea what you're saying." Anna shook her head, "It's like you just use made up words."

"Technically speaking all words are made up. We just associate meaning with a jumble of peculiar shapes we've renamed letters. Language is all about associated meanings that actually have no meaning out of context. Did you know there is a language in Greece made entirely by whistling?"

Anna sighed, "I can't imagine what it's like in your brain."

They rode in silence to their stop and quickly found the small house nestled in a quiet little neighborhood. Anna consulted the paper again before checking the door number. She raised her fist to rap on the wood and waited.

A shuffling sound on the other side had her pushing hair into the back of her hat. When the door opened Anna saw a woman, with John's eyes, squinting slightly at her. Anna went to speak but the woman beat her to it.

"I do hope you're not one of those suffragettes because I'm too old to want the vote so you best move along."

"No, Mrs. Bates, I'm here about your son, John."

"If John alright?" Mrs. Bates pulled her shawl around her, "Has something happened to Johnny?"

"Nothing at all," Anna stepped up, putting a hand out, "He's fine. Right as rain last I saw him. I'm here about another matter."

"Well, then let it not be said that I don't know how to entertain John's friends. Come right in." She waved Anna through the door.

It was not a large house but it was clean. The shades were low so the light inside was dim but it felt cozy. This was a home well loved and well cared for. This was the kind of home Anna recognized from childhood when her father was alive. The kind of home she wanted to share one day with someone she loved. She took the seat Mrs. Bates offered and held her umbrella in her hands.

"So you know John?"

"We work together, at Downton."

"You're a long way from Yorkshire miss."

"It's Anna," Anna took the offered cup of tea but just stirred the contents. "And I'm here accompanying our cook for a surgery."

"Somehow you found time to visit me, that's flattering. I didn't know John talked about me to his friends."

"He doesn't much but when he does it's with great love I assure you." Anna saw Aphrodite examining all the knick-knacks around the living room and tried to focus on Mrs. Bates. "I'm actually here about his time in prison."

"I told him he should've been honest about that when he took the post but he was afraid they'd never hire him. It was hard enough when that shrapnel moved in his leg and gave him pains. It took me six months to convince him he needed a cane but he lost his post with it. They were a kind family but they weren't going to take the chance his duties might fail him. We were lucky Lord Grantham hired him without an interview."

"Why did he go to prison?"

"The reason they gave was that he stole regimental silver," Mrs. Bates scoffed, pulling a small flask from a pocket and adding a few drops to her tea before stirring. "My John didn't steal anything. It was that harpy of a wife of his."

Anna nodded, "His wife?"

"Did he not mention her?" Mrs. Bates laughed into her tea, "I'd try not to talk about her too. You know what they say about mentioning the name of the devil too many times… he comes to get you."

"You didn't like her?"

"Not even her own mother could stomach that trollop. I told John when he wanted to marry her that it was a mistake. But he was young and hotheaded and convinced I didn't know better." Mrs. Bates sighed, "There is nothing a mother wants to say less to the child she loves than 'I told you so'… but I didn't have to."

"No?"

"When he got out of prison she wasn't there for him, I was. He said it to me. Told me I was right all along and then determined to set his life aright and forget about her."

"Did she steal the silver?"

"Of course she did. She was always selfish and self-important. No idea where she got it from but she was convinced she deserved more. They were only passionate when they were drunk together. They'd get drunk and violent together but he never harmed her. More often than not she harmed him." Mrs. Bates shook her head, "But my John, martyr to the last, took it as his due."

"Why?"

"Said he deserved what he got. That he gave her this life and he deserved her ire for not providing her all she wanted. I told him he'd married a right bitch but he never did listen. Always liked shouldering the burden himself."

Anna set her cup aside, not having drunk anything, "So he didn't steal anything?"

"No. He fell on his sword because he's got more nobility than brains sometimes." Mrs. Bates set her own cup down too, "But he's got his heart in the right place and finally screwed his head on right to get a divorce from that woman."

"He's divorced?"

"Oh yeah. Wrote me a few months ago. Said the whole thing was done and dusted. We celebrated when he was here with the Granthams for the season. Not a big affair but he did take me to a pub lunch and I always enjoy a good Irish whiskey." She smiled, "What's your interest in John?"

"Just to confirm that he's the man I think he is. There were accusations, at the house, that he stole something. He told the butler and the housekeeper that he'd been a thief and served time. We all felt there was more to the story but he refused to tell us."

"That boy," Mrs. Bates clicked her teeth, "Always trying to keep himself to himself. More often then not it bites him in the ass."

Mrs. Bates leaned over the back of her chair, "If you're going to touch any of that you might as well dust it you urchin."

Anna and Aphrodite jumped a little as Mrs. Bates waved a hand to get Aphrodite away from her things. Anna couldn't decide whether to focus on Aphrodite or on Mrs. Bates as the older woman got comfortable in her chair again. Anna pointed to Aphrodite, "You can see her?"

"Of course I can." Mrs. Bates glared at Aphrodite, "I recognize you. It's been some years but I'd remember that scent. What'd you call it, 'summer'?"

"It's from the Armani collection." Aphrodite kept her voice quiet.

"I don't care. It smells like a tart's boudoir and I told you that then." She smiled, "But I do remember how you helped me that summer and I'll not forget it in a flash."

"He was wonderful wasn't he?" Aphrodite winked back, "Sailor boys and all that."

"Hm," Mrs. Bates nodded at the two of them, "You'd best be off before my house smells like I run a brothel."

Anna stood up quickly, "Thank you again, Mrs. Bates, for your help."

"If you went to all this trouble for my John then I suspect you hold him in some regard. That means a lot to me." Mrs. Bates clasped Anna's hand in both of hers, "He needs someone to fight for him since he never fights for himself."

"I'll do my best."

"He won't make it easy on you but he's worth it." Mrs. Bates stood, escorting them to the door, "Just let him know that his mother still thinks him a damned fool but a lovable one."

Anna nodded and headed back for the bus. She climbed aboard and Aphrodite took the seat next to her again. They sat in silence, Anna fingering the fringe on her umbrella until Aphrodite leaned over.

"You always knew there was more to that story and now you've got the confirmation that he's the good man you think he is."

"I only did it to give Lord Grantham and Mr. Carson the proof they need." Anna kept her focus forward, "That was the point. I didn't need it confirmed."

"We all like reassurance in our confidence." Aphrodite paused, "He's grateful you know."

"What?"

"John, he's grateful."

"How can you tell?" Anna kept a bit of skepticism in her voice but Aphrodite laughed.

"Try and stay aloof all you like but I know you care about him and about what I say about him." Aphrodite took a deep breath, "He's not blind to all you do for him. He just doesn't think he deserves it… or you."

"Why?"

"Because he's a man. You heard his mother: he's noble to a fault and the biggest martyr. He thinks he doesn't deserve nice things because life told him he doesn't. More to the point that witch he married told him he didn't. Go long enough with that poison in your ear and you believe it."

"How do I get the antidote for it?"

"Keep telling him you're there for him. He notices and eventually he'll take more stock of it. He's not an idiot, just wounded. He needs more time to heal. Just give it a little patience, as the song says."

Anna nodded and stayed quiet for the rest of the ride.


	9. Chapter 9

John watched Anna packing away the glasses, speaking quickly with Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore as the news that England declared war on Germany was on everyone's lips.

"It's too bad." He glanced over at Aphrodite, tossing one last cricket ball at the button, trying to dunk a non-existent man. "Athena so hoped to avoid war."

"Athena?"

"You didn't think I was the only one out there trying to work an agenda did you?" Aphrodite batted a hand in the direction of the game, "I was never good at these."

"Why didn't you do anything?"

"I did." Aphrodite put a hand to her chest, looking offended, "Why do you think they all intermarried? I was trying to use family as a reason to not go to war with each other. Apparently pride is bigger than brains."

"So someone else is behind it?"

"Ares, definitely. I do hope someone sorts the bugger out. And I hope it's a woman, that would serve him right. Misogynistic snob." Aphrodite put her hands in her jacket pockets and leaned over to John, "You going to talk to her?"

"About?"

"Well she did just save your bacon."

"I already thanked her."

"No," Aphrodite rolled her eyes, "You said that she only heard your mother's side of the story. That's not really the way you respond to someone who went out of their way to save your job."

"She did a wonderful thing."

"Now you do the nice thing for her." Aphrodite nudged his arm with hers, "Kiss that woman. You're a free man and she knows it."

John turned on Aphrodite and she shrugged, hands still in her jacket pockets, "I was there when she spoke to your mother and your mom dropped that truth bomb."

"You talk to Anna?"

"Yeah."

John massaged the bridge of his nose, "You've been talking with her this whole time?"

"I had to give the girl some hope since you won't."

"I'm trying to keep her safe."

"Cut the crap John," Aphrodite put a hand on his shoulder and pointed with her other toward Anna, "That woman is in love with you. She wants you, bad. You're a free man, she knows why you went to prison, and you're not a drunk anymore so get your shit together and take that girl to the pictures or dinner or for a roll in the hay but show that girl you care about her."

John shook his head, "I can't."

"You can and you will." Aphrodite peeked over her shoulder, "Because if you don't I'll go get Mosely and tell him to take his shot with her." John glared at Aphrodite and she raised her hands, "You told him someone was keen on her so you better make that true. If not he'll move in because while he's a bit spineless and kind of… well he's a bit of a wanker but he's a good man and he'd treat her right."

"She deserves someone who'll treat her better than he can."

"Then be that person dingbat. If not she'll find someone who treats her just okay. Some people want the love they can get and while it's not perfect it's okay for them. Don't make her think that she'll have to settle for something that's comfortable when she can have more."

"Why not?"

"Because that woman wants passion, not comfort. She wants someone who lights her fires, wants her all the time, takes her up against a wall or on the living room carpet because they can't keep their hands off her."

John gaped at her, "Excuse me?"

"Don't think she hasn't had inappropriate dreams about you too."

"You watch her dreams?"

"I've seen the highlights." Aphrodite glanced over the field to where Lady Mary and Matthew sat together on a bench, "Better go moderate an honesty discussion between two people with thicker skulls than yours, if you believe it."

John did not respond as Aphrodite spirited away. He watched Anna latch down a case and stack another on top of it. She went to lift it but he put his hand on top, startling her.

"Mr. Bates, I thought you were already inside."

"No I was chatting with a friend."

Anna looked around, "Mr. Mosely?"

John bristled, "Why would you think that?"

"I saw you talking with him earlier. I didn't know you knew him that well."

"We worked in the same house some years ago when we were both footmen." John tapped the boxes, "Could I help you carry something?"

"Would you?" Anna appeared so relieved, "I don't want to make two trips since I still have to air out Lady Mary's evening wear."

"It'd be my pleasure." John examined the boxes and lifted the top one off to better grab the bottom. "Where does it go?"

"Back to the kitchen. We need to wash all the glasses before we put them back in the cabinets so I don't envy Mrs. Patmore. There's q decent load here."

John leaned toward her to whisper, "I don't envy her either."

They carried the boxes back toward the house, Anna keeping pace with John as the others hurried around them. When they reached the servant's entrance John put the box down on the table and motioned for Anna to join him. She set down her box and walked toward him, her face scrunched in confusion.

"What is it Mr. Bates?"

"I need to give you something."

"What?"

He tugged her hand to pull her back around a corner so no one could see them and bent to kiss Anna. At first she froze but then wrapped both of her hands on the back of his neck, holding him in place. He moved his head sideways slightly to get a better feel on her mouth and she moaned.

His free hand went to her waist, holding her to him. She broke for a moment to breathe and John waited, thinking she would back away. But she surprised him and went to kiss him again, thrusting her tongue into his mouth. He almost broke the kiss in surprise but instead decided this was better than he half-planned.

"Who left these boxes here?" They both broke the kiss in a hurry as Mrs. Patmore's voice rang through the little courtyard. "They go inside. Always leaving work for other people. I've half a mind-"

Anna grinned at John and hurried out, "Sorry Mrs. Patmore, I thought I heard something back there and I only set them down for a moment."

"Well get them inside before you waste anymore of my time."

John peeked around the corner and saw Anna wink at him before taking one of the boxes into the house. He leaned back against the brickwork, smiling to himself. He closed his eyes a moment, remembering how it felt to kiss her but opened his eyes quickly when he heard a sound of approval.

"That was wonderful." John glared at Aphrodite where she sat on the table, kicking her legs out. "Practically perfect actually."

"I don't need your opinion."

"But I give it anyway." She pointed at him, "You may want to give yourself a minute though. Don't want to give away to everyone else that you made it to first base and got pretty excited by it."

"First what?"

"Baseball term… don't think there's a matching one in cricket but point is," Aphrodite jumped off the table, "You got some and you're gonna keep getting some so keep on old boy."

John grabbed the case, "I don't plan to do anything until I've taken her on a proper date."

"By all means. I suggest stargazing or a lovely picnic by a lake or, if you're feeling like really taking the boat out, dinner at a lovely place in Ripon. There's this French style restaurant there she'll love."

"Thank you but I'll be alright."

"Sure you will." Aphrodite saluted him, "Get her cowboy."

Anna looked over her shoulder at herself in the mirror and sighed. "It'll have to do."

"You could wear a potato sack and John would think you look better than the Queen of England." Aphrodite kicked her feet back and forth from her position on her stomach on Anna's bed. "Trust me, he thinks you're hot stuff."

"Really?"

"I seen what he dreams about and trust me, your clothes aren't a highlighting feature." Anna blushed furiously and Aphrodite laughed, "You Georgians and your precious illusions. I've seen times and places where people publish this stuff on mainstream media."

"It doesn't make it right."

"No," Aphrodite sat up on her knees, "But it does mean people are a little more comfortable with their sexuality."

"Not that it'd be a problem for you eh?" Anna dug in her tiny jewelry box and pulled out two simple earrings and a plain necklace.

"No problem at all. I'm completely okay with my sexuality."

"And you don't think I am with mine?"

"I think you could do to be a little more forward. That man's not going to budge unless he's sure you want him." Aphrodite came up behind Anna and tapped her shoulder. In a moment the dress tightened slightly, reached to the floor, and took a sheen that made it shimmer in the light. "And this dress'll help with that."

Anna did a twirl, smiling, "This is beautiful."

"It brings out your eyes and he loves those." Aphrodite winked and gestured toward the door, "Off you go or you'll miss the surprise."

"Do you know what it is?"

"No." Aphrodite folded her arms in a huff, "He ignored all my suggestions, that I can tell you. I wanted you two to make out in the back of the Cineplex but he really didn't go for that."

"Cineplex?"

"Theater for the pictures." Aphrodite waved her off, "Now get going."

"You're not coming?"

"Why would I crash this party?" Aphrodite jumped back onto Anna's bed, "Nah, I'm going to stay here and try and solve someone else's love problems. You go have fun now."

Anna took her handbag and made her way down the stairs. She almost ran into Mrs. Hughes on her way up. Mrs. Hughes stopped a moment and looked Anna up and down.

"My don't you look a picture."

"Thank you Mrs. Hughes."

"Remember that I lock up at eleven." Mrs. Hughes ushered her down the stairs, "Hurry on now or you'll be late."

Anna got to the bottom of the stairs but paused as she saw John pacing at the bottom. He wore a beautiful black suit with white tie and Anna had to grab the bannister to make sure she didn't collapse at the sight of him. She smiled and started down the stairs.

When he turned to look at her Anna could not walk any farther forward. His mouth dropped open slightly and his gaze wouldn't leave her. She forced her feet to move forward, basking in the glow of his adoring gaze. He held a hand out to her and when she took it a thrill sent all the hair on her arms standing on end. She shivered slightly and he hurried to grab her coat but she shook her head.

"It's not from cold Mr. Bates." She took the coat in her hands, "You look very fine this evening."

"I feel almost shabby next to you." He opened his arms, looking down at himself, "I don't think I've ever seen someone look more like heaven then you do at this moment."

"You're a charmer Mr. Bates."

"John." Anna made a face as she put on her coat. "Tonight I'm John."

"As long as you promise that tonight I'm Anna."

"I think I can manage that." John gave her his left arm and they walked to the back door.

"What kind of surprise do you have planned for me?" Anna held tight to his arm, relishing the feel of it.

"That would defeat the point of a surprise." His eyes crinkled but as he leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I can promise you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will," Anna put her mouth to his ear, "John."

As it happened he took her to a string quartet recital. Anna sat at the edge of her seat for the first set, letting the music wash over her. It was not until a few minutes into the second set she felt his hand move over hers.

Anna stopped, closing her eyes to focus on the feeling of his fingers tracing delicately over hers. When his fingers moved up she grasped them in her own. She turned to look at him as she pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. His eyes widened and she lowered their joined hands to her lap, stroking over his trapped hand with her fingers.

She smiled to herself as she watched him shift out of the corner of her eye. By intermission she could hear his breathing and finally looked over at him. Anna was sure if Aphrodite was there she would've applauded in the background at the sight of John, his eyes darker than Anna had ever seen them, and Anna taking control of the situation.

"Are you alright, John?"

"I'll be fine in a moment." He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing as Anna placed his hand back in his lap.

When she did, Anna's eyebrows rose by what she felt there. Risking a look around at those milling around in the stretch between performances, Anna put her hand forward. John almost jumped from his chair when Anna used her other hand to pull him forward enough that as she shifted his ear was near her mouth and her first hand more firmly settled near his thigh.

"Are you fine now?"

"Anna-" He seemed to struggle to speak, "We're in public."

"Then perhaps we should think of somewhere more private?" She drew back enough to see his eyes and grinned at him. "As much as I enjoy Beethoven, I think there's something else we'd both enjoy more."

"Anna?"

She licked her lips, "Take me somewhere private John."

If he could have run he would have. John grabbed his coat, folding it over his arm to hide his tented trousers as Anna collected her coat with all the grace of a woman getting exactly what she wanted. They headed for the exit and for a moment she thought she caught a glimpse of Aphrodite giving her a gesture that had both of her thumbs in the air but when Anna blinked the image was gone.

They walked into the night air and John took Anna's hand in his, walking with determined strides toward the bus station. Anna kept up, holding her coat closed as she flexed her hand in John's grip. Before they reached the station however, John nudged her toward a little alley. She went with the motion, breathing quickly with anticipation.

It was empty and quiet but when Anna turned to John his lips crashed on hers. In a second her back was against the brick wall and her hands were around his neck as his cane clattered to the ground. She paused at the noise but with both hands now at her waist and their kiss broken John went for her neck.

If he had not been holding her to the wall Anna would have sunk to the ground right then. He kissed along her jaw, sucking at indiscriminant intervals before he tugged at her ear. She held tightly to his neck as he started whispering to her.

"Do you realize what you were doing Anna? What you do to me everyday without even meaning to?" One of his hands moved from her waist around to her back, pulling her hips toward him so she felt his arousal at her stomach.

She groaned with the feeling and felt her hips move toward his, completely of their own volition. He kissed back down to her collar, moving her coat aside enough to bite down lightly. She cried out and he sucked at the spot, sure to leave a mark.

"I've wanted to hold you in my arms since I met you." He kissed a collar around her neck before moving back up to her face. "I've wanted nothing the way I want you Anna."

"John," She moved against him again, not sure what to do but feeling her body's instinct was probably the best reaction. She couldn't even put into words what she wanted but when see looked up she saw the same darkness in his eyes at the use of his name. "Please."

"Please what Anna?"

"I don't know. Just," She pulled him down to kiss her and took his tongue at the first opportunity. He moaned into her mouth and she sucked harder. His hand at her back continued to hold her to him while his other hand moved to her leg and lifted it to his waist and held there.

When he jerked his hips forward she felt him right where all her heat pooled. She broke from the kiss to gasp at it, closing her eyes to better embrace the feeling. John held her softly, his fingers only gripping enough at her back and thigh to keep her there without trapping her. He thrust his hips again, slowly, and Anna instinctively rolled hers to meet him. His eyes almost rolled back into his head.

"More, please," She whimpered and he kissed her again, his hand holding her leg in place while the other moved between them. She felt the rasp of cloth move and then his cold fingers touched the skin of her legs. She jumped slightly and he paused.

"Anna?"

"Just cold." She shook her head and jerked toward his hand, surprising him. She smiled at the shock on his face, "Keep going please."

"I'm your obedient servant." His fingers moved and she felt cold air when he pushed her knickers aside.

There was a moment of panic for Anna and she tried to calm her breathing. No one had touched her since her stepfather but this was John. John, who would never hurt her. John, who kissed her as if she were air. John, who now stroked up and down in time with the movements of her hips but kept his fingers light. John who stared into her eyes as he did so with a look that said nothing in the world meant more to him then making this moment perfect for her.

Anna was no fool. She knew what happened in these situations. She heard stories and saw the results but when one of his fingers entered her, reason gave way to passion and she cried out.

She pulled his face toward her, kissing him like her life depended on it. Partly to cover the sounds she was making as he worked another finger inside her and curled them where she felt most on fire and partly to have some part of him under her control. Mostly Anna just wanted to feel as much of him as possible at one moment.

With his fingers working her and his thumb stroking in time with her kisses Anna felt heat rising through her whole body. She was sure she could melt snow with as hot as she felt in that moment. But then her concept was heat was relative as a moment later she peaked and almost shrieked into his shoulder. Her whole body bucked and tingled like she had been struck by lightning.

John held her close, whispering to her as her body shook in the aftershocks. His hand moved from her thigh to her back, rubbing there gently while his other hand moved her knickers back into place and arranged her dress. When Anna finally lifted her head she watched him take the fingers shining in the low light and suck them clean, all while maintaining eye contact.

Anna seized his neck and kissed him, pulling the taste of herself from him. She kept going until she only tasted him again and then broke the kiss. She leaned into his chest, breathing heavily as he chuckled.

"You are quite beautiful Anna."

She lifted her head, "What?"

"When you're in rapture. I've never seen anything more glorious then watching you experience pleasure." He smiled and Anna bent to pick up his cane.

"Then we'll need to find a chance for me to return the favor, John." She held the cane up, stroking over it with her hand before putting it back in his grip.

He choked a bit, "Anna?"

"One good turn deserves another Mr. Bates. I believe in fairness and on our next outing I want to return the favor."

"What I did was a pleasure, Ms. Smith," He growled her name and kissed at her neck.

Anna succumbed to the sensation a moment before taking his arm and leading him to the bus stop. "But next time it will be your pleasure, I promise you that."

John kissed her hand, "If you insist."

"I do."

As they boarded the bus neither of them saw Aphrodite sitting in the back, grinning to herself as she propped her feet on the seat in front of her.


	10. Chapter 10

John finished tucking his tie into his waistcoat and grabbed his cane and jacket. He headed for the door and opened it in time to hear Anna's voice on the other side of the hall, separated by that wooden barrier between the men and women's sides. It was all he could do not to plaster a ridiculous grin all over his face.

"You look very cheerful this morning Mr. Bates." William hurried past, tying his tie as quickly as he could before heading for the stairs, "Did you enjoy your concert last night?"

"I did, thank you." John almost waved at Aphrodite as she smirked at the bottom of the first flight of stairs. "And I'll hear nothing from you."

"It would only be congratulations Mr. Bates." She brushed at his shoulder, "Ms. Smith went to sleep quite satisfied last night. I've no one else to thank but you."

"It was the intention." John pulled his shoulders back, pleased with himself.

"However you had a rough go of it." Aphrodite tilted on the bannister and kept pace with him, sliding without moving her feet along. "Couldn't you've found a way to get her to take care of that for you?"

"I wouldn't presume to imply it was expected of her."

"And if she wanted the moment of reciprocity?" Aphrodite shrugged, "Who knows, some women like giving the way they like getting. Tit for tat and all that."

"Anna is a lady."

"Anna is a woman who very much wants to get to know you better in a physical sense since she already knows you in a spiritual and mental sense."

"It's not necessary."

"John," Aphrodite stepped in front of him, stopping him on the stairs where the men and women's sides met. "This isn't about forcing her to go down south. This is about giving her the chance to do something she wants to do for you. Don't be selfish and think it's all about her. Love is a shared emotion that only works if you actually share."

John heard Anna's voice and saw her speaking to the newer housemaid. She looked up and when their eyes met she blushed a little and hurried down the stairs, stuttering a second in her explanation. John returned his gaze to the woman with rainbow hair before him.

"What do you suggest?"

"If you're nervous that she might be scared or lose her nerve or that you'll lose control or whatever ugly scenario you already devised, and don't deny it because I know you," Aphrodite pointed an accusing finger at him, "Then take the time to teach her. She'll enjoy it and so will you. Learn about each other together and then it gets better. Or just sit back and see what she does. Relinquishing that kind of control can be very liberating."

"Is this what you suggest to all those you help?"

"Some more than others. It's a little harder to get Mr. Matthew down for it because he's all buttoned up and proper but once Lady Mary gets going-"

"Stop," John raised a hand, "I'd rather you not say something I'm going to have trouble scrubbing from my mind."

"Fine," Aphrodite raised her hands, "But don't begrudge Anna her desires. You wouldn't skimp on her would you?"

"Of course not."

"Then don't deny her. You spent enough time doing that already."

John continued down the stairs as Aphrodite disappeared, his mind carefully examining her words. He looked up as he turned to go down the next set of stairs and saw Anna waiting there. She beamed at him and he could not help but smile back.

"I thought you already went down?"

"I wanted to walk with you. We don't get enough time to do that." Anna held his left arm as they took the first step. "I wanted to thank you again for last night. The concert was lovely."

"Just the concert?"

"Well," Anna ducked her head, "Lovely doesn't seem an adequate enough word for what happened afterward."

"And what words would you use?"

"Mind-blowing or earth-shattering might be a bit hyperbolic but they are as close to describing what I felt in words as I could dredge up this morning." Anna rubbed his arm, "And I'm serious about what I said. I do wish to return the favor."

"It's not necessary."

"And if I wanted to?" She raised an eyebrow and John could almost hear Aphrodite telling him to let go. He even thought he saw her standing nearby and waving him onward.

"What did you have in mind, Ms. Smith?" John kept his voice low and watched the shiver run over her body.

"We'd need somewhere quiet and alone. There's a little place by the stream I know of that no one ever visits. On our next half-day we could take a picnic there and just enjoy one another's company."

"Just that?" John stopped them before the final set of stairs, facing her as he pulled his arm from her grip so he could better run his fingers up her arm to her shoulder. Anna's breathing grew shallower and her eyes dilated.

"I'd offer more but in our current circumstance I best keep the details to myself. Being wary of-" She almost sighed as his finger stroked her cheek, "Listening ears."

"Then I leave the plans in your capable hands, Ms. Smith." He took her hand again, kissing it, "And put myself entirely at your mercy."

"You may've made a very dangerous bargain there Mr. Bates." Anna warned, collecting herself and accompanying him the remainder of the way down the stairs.

"I've got it on good authority I made the right decision." John winked toward the corner where Aphrodite leaned against the wall, arms folded smugly over her chest.

John lifted his head back, breathing deeply as they walked in the quiet of the early afternoon. Anna carried a small basket in her hands and he held the blanket she wrestled from the depths of the attic the day before as they dug out the winter wear for Lady Mary and Lord Grantham.

"Will you go to the regimental dinners as well?" Anna pulled closer to him, pushing him gently with her body to guide him where she needed him to go.

"If he'll have me. He's the lieutenant colonel and so it's his decision." John offered her a hand as they took a small set of inlaid wooden steps across a tiny bridge to a little brush of grass in the oxbow of the stream. "But I doubt it. I'm his valet now, not his batman."

"But you were his batman and, being technical," Anna set down the basket and took the end of the blanket, "He's not in the service any longer either so why would he go when you wouldn't?"

"Because they need him to lead the county. They don't need me." John settled down, stretching out and leaving his cane to the side, "Old cripple that I am."

Anna stopped digging in the basket to face him. She crawled on her hands and knees so her face was right next to his, appearing very stern. "I need you, John Bates, and I'll hear no more of you belittling yourself. Those days are over."

"Are they?" John could lose himself in her eyes if he was not careful but it would be worth it to be lost there. "Am I not old, crippled, and trudging along?"

"No." Anna put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back so he was laying out fully. "You are experienced, changed, and striding proudly."

"You're being kind."

"And you're being foolish." Anna took his face in her hands, "Do you think I'd spend time with you if I thought it was a waste?"

"I still don't know why you spend time with me at all."

"Because, John Bates," Anna smiled but it was not a pleasant, sweet smile. This was the smile of someone with a plan they knew all the details to and their victim did not, "I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you."

She took her hands from his cheeks and slid them down his neck, into the collar of his coat and pushed it back so she could run her hands down his shirt and waistcoat. John closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of her hands on him even through his layers. His eyes opened almost of their own accord as she popped the buttons of his waistcoat and pushed it back before starting on the buttons of his shirt.

"Anna?"

"Don't speak," She put one slender finger on his mouth, "I wasn't finished."

John didn't dare interrupt her as she pushed his shirt open as far as she could before working her nails in a scraping glide up to his collar. She popped the button there and pulled it way, setting it carefully on the blanket before pulling his tie oh-so-slowly off his neck.

"You see, before you came to Downton I was all prepared to live the rest of my life like Ms. O'Brien. Hopefully much nicer than she is but along those lines. Become a lady's maid or take over for Mrs. Hughes when she retired. I'd live my life in service and that would be that."

John could hardly concentrate on her words as her mouth rested near his ear, breathing down his neck. "And now?"

"Well, the day you arrived and I saw you-" Anna kissed just below his ear and punctuated her words with soft kisses down to his collarbone. "I wondered if perhaps there was a new possibility somewhere. A future I never thought I'd have."

"With me?"

Anna paused, lifting her head from her angelically tantalizing touches, "Certainly not with anyone else in the house."

"But why?"

Anna leaned her head forward, "Because of how you looked at me."

John felt the passive participant as she kissed his lips, moving slowly but softly over his skin. Just as he reached his hands up she broke away, shaking her head. His brow furrowed and she went back to his chest, "I'm going to show you what I think of you, Mr. Bates, and I do hope you pay attention so you realize I'm nothing but genuine."

It was all John could do not to reach for her as she continued kissing down his chest. Her nails scratched into his skin, caressing when he hissed, and slipping over all his curves. He worked himself free of his jacket and waistcoat as his body heated under her attention. She came toward his mouth again but refused to kiss him, instead determined to tease with almost-there movements.

He wanted to react, to kiss her with all the fervor now boiling inside him but she moved away from him when he tried. Instead she forced him to wait, shifting more and more under her patient examinations in at attempt to dispel the pressure in his trousers. John almost cried out when she just brushed past it with a hand working its way down his leg as she ran her tongue under the line of his trousers.

"Anna?" He tried to breathe normally and put a fist to his head, hoping to clear his thoughts as her hands mapped up his side and then back down toward his legs and she worked her way between them.

"Yes, Mr. Bates?" The way her accent drew on his name had him moving his hips in her direction and her hand slipped, massaging by him. He groaned, "If you don't stop I can't control myself."

"Who said I wanted that?" Anna's fingers unclipped his suspenders and worked his belt free as John almost came off the ground in surprise. His eyes found hers and she licked her lips, "I may not have the practice I need but I know the basics."

"What?"

"Maids talk and so do young ladies who aren't supposed to know anything about this." Anna popped the button on John's trousers open and worked the next one. "I think I know what happens but everyone's different."

"Yes they are and some are… not like others." John could not tear his eyes away if he tried at this moment. Anna pulled his trousers apart enough to expose his undergarments to the air and John felt almost embarrassed at the sight of an uncontrolled twitch.

"Size differences?" Anna crawled up, sitting herself just below his hips and leaning toward him with her hands on either side so the material of her skirt brushed against his thin underwear.

"Something like that." He managed through gritted teeth as Anna placed her hands on his sides and slid down to the waistband. "I don't want to… what I mean is…"

"I'm not scared John." Anna worked the material down and John clung to the little sliver of sanity he had left after she used his name.

"It's not that."

"What then?"

"I don't want you to feel obligated-"

"Is one obligated to open gifts as Christmas?" Anna maneuvered so John's trousers and undergarments were now out of the way. "Are we obligated to sate our curiosity? Or do we do it because we want it? Because we enjoy it?"

"I don't want you to do it if you're not sure."

"John," She waited until he was staring right at her, "I'm very sure."

John was lost. Her small hands, always dwarfed in his larger ones, perfect for mending and small repairs, held firm. Her petite frame, so much stronger than it looked, was barely a weight on his legs. And her eyes, comforting and mysterious, now captivated him as she slid her hand up and down his rigid shaft.

He could not keep still. He tried, not wanting to throw her off or hurt her, but with the strength in those hands and their soft touch he was almost undone. She tickled up, caressed the tip, and then used her full hand to stroke downward with authority. There was no hesitation, no fear, and nothing but unbridled joy as she discovered what tore at his sanity the way he had hers the other night.

When her other hand moved to cup his sack he moaned uncontrollably, forgetting that anyone could hear them. Anna laughed, the way he imagined a fairy in someone's summer fantasy might, and she spoke in her airy voice, "I think you best take care Mr. Bates, anyone could walk by and hear us."

"How can I help it when-?" John lost his train of thought as she twisted and pulled, sending him clutching at the blanket and ground beneath him.

"Imagine if Lord Grantham were to come by?" Anna taunted, kissing at his neck while her pace refused to slow. "What would he say?"

"He'd wonder how I got so lucky." John caught Anna's face and brought a hand to her cheek, "And I wouldn't know what to tell him."

He kissed her, pushing his tongue into her mouth as her hand paused a moment. But when she moaned and returned his energy, her hand pumped him faster. John pushed them to a sitting position and shifted just enough so Anna was to his side but he could still kiss her. Within a moment he climaxed, hiding the grunt to satisfaction in their deep kiss as Anna's hand stilled.

When they broke the kiss Anna was grinning at him, "I enjoyed that."

John took the napkin she dug from the picnic basket and cleaned himself as she inspected her hand. He almost lost all reason when she licked at it and grinned, "I definitely enjoyed that."

"You will be the death of me if you continue that Ms. Smith."

"Then I won't continue here." She wiped her hand on her on napkin, "But I do want to continue it elsewhere."

John tucked his shirt over his underwear and fastened his trousers before pulling up on his suspenders. "What?"

"Mr. Bates," Anna got on her knees, using her hands to keep herself upright, "I think you and I have spent enough time getting to know one another."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to say something and you might not like it," She seemed to look over his shoulder but when John turned to see what caught her attention he saw nothing. "I think we should get married?"

"Now?" John had his waistcoat over his shoulders but hanging open. "We can't."

"Obviously not this moment but we should."

"There's a war and we have duties and-"

Anna put her hand over his mouth, "You're not listening. We're going to get married because there's no reason why we shouldn't. You're a free man and I'm a free woman. We owe it to ourselves to take this happiness in hand now."

"Anna," John took her hand and moved it, "We don't have anywhere to live. I can't provide for you."

"I don't care about that. We'll both keep our jobs and move forward like before only this time I can have you to myself without dragging you to the middle of nowhere so no one knows that I rather enjoy watching you at my mercy."

John tried to control his reaction at her words but it was no good. Anna took another breath, "I don't need a ring or a house or money. I only need you. So on your next half day you're going to Ripon and taking out a license and picking a day for us to marry."

"Why now?"

"Because after what you did to me the other night and what I just did to you I know that I can't stop there next time." Anna scooted closer to him, "I want to see that look on your face when I can do that as your wife, when I'm the only one who can do that for you and you for me. I don't want to risk sharing you or this with anyone else. I don't want something to take you from me again because I don't want to lose you."

"Anna, you won't lose me." John pulled her into his embrace, "Why would you think that?"

"Because I've not had many good things in my life and the few I do have are always a hairsbreadth from vanishing. I won't let that happen with you, not when I love you like I do." Anna pulled back enough that John could see the tears in her eyes. She wiped them away, "I will be your wife, your next of kin, your friend, your confidant, and whatever else you need as you are for me but I will be this for you."

"Anna," John stroked hair away from her face, "You're already everything to me."

"Then marry me, John Bates, and let everyone else know too. Let me share your pains, your troubles, your sorrows, your joys, your house, and your children."

"Are you sure?"

"The only thing I'm more sure of is that when I first met you I knew my life changed for the better in an instant."

John pulled Anna to him again, kissing her gently at first but when she took the lead John was back against the ground, Anna almost on top of his chest. With reluctance he broke the kiss and moved her so they were on their sides, laying on the blanket and staring at one another. "Kiss me like that again here and we may not need to wait for a wedding to make a child."

"I might not mind."

"But I would." John smiled, "I want all of our children to have no doubt they are the result of love but more than that I want them to have parents married to one another first. It may be old fashioned but I believe in that."

"As do I." Anna moved to put her head on John's shoulder. "But what a story that would be?"

John laughed, "That wouldn't be a story I'd ever tell our children."

"I should hope not."

"But I'd relive it with you as often as possible." John held Anna to him and looked up to see Aphrodite wave at him from the other end of the small clearing. He nodded at her in return and she disappeared.


	11. Chapter 11

Anna finished Lady Mary's hair and stepped back, "It looks wonderful milady."

Lady Mary turned in the mirror to see the back of her head and nodded, "I'm glad you're here. None of those new girls have any idea what to do with hair."

"They're still learning." Anna gathered Lady Mary's clothes off the bed, "Is there anything else before dinner?"

"Yes," Lady Mary stood, holding her hands in front of her. "You're aware that Mr. Matthew and I are getting married in a week yes?"

"Of course milady, I'm very happy for you."

"That's the thing, Mr. Matthew accepted a commission and so he'll be serving at the front in a few months." Lady Mary worried her hands, not really keeping her focus anywhere. "But we want to take our honeymoon in America before he has to leave. Since grandmamma can't make the trip over in time we're going to visit her before passage becomes impossible and Mr. Matthew gets called up."

"Sounds like an adventure."

"It will be but not one I want to take alone."

"I'm not sure I understand milady."

"I want you to come with us." Anna did everything she could to keep her jaw set. "You're already going to be my lady's maid and given how much I rely on you I don't know how I'd survive otherwise."

Anna nodded, biting at the edge of her lip, "I would be delighted, milady, but it'll be for such a long time."

"A few weeks at most then we'll be right back here until Mr. Matthew and I move to Downton Place." Lady Mary stepped forward, "I know it's a lot to ask but I'll need your help through it. If there's anything I can do for you then just name it."

Anna paused, biting her lip, "There is something you could do for me."

"What?"

"I know Mr. Bates has already asked his Lordship about whether or not we can get married and he's happy for us but he's not sure it would work in the house. He's afraid we may not be professional and it could distract the other servants." Anna focused on Lady Mary, "But if you spoke to him then you could convince him it won't be an issue."

"Would it?" Lady Mary adjusted the bracelet on her arm as Anna shook her head.

"No milady. We'd never do anything to embarrass ourselves or this house." Anna smiled, "I think if we even thought something like that Mr. Carson might die of shock."

"Quite right and we can't have anything horrible happening to Mr. Carson or Downton'd fall into shambles in a moment." Lady Mary checked herself one last time in the mirror, "I'll talk to Papa tonight and convince him that this is the least we can do for two devoted and irreplaceable people."

"Thank you milady."

"It's really the least I can do after all you've done for me." Lady Mary gripped Anna's shoulders, "I don't know what I'd do without your help."

"You'll never have to find out, milady." Anna waited for Lady Mary to leave before taking her used clothes back to the wardrobe.

When she finished hanging them and setting out Lady Mary's nightclothes she walked back down the hallway and noticed John coming from his Lordship's dressing room. She crept as quietly as possible, making sure they were alone in the hallway, and whipped her hands over his eyes. She felt his cheeks lift in a smile as he removed one of the hands to kiss it.

"How was Lady Marry?"

"She's well." Anna accompanied John down the hall as he arranged the clothes on his arm that needed mending. "She asked me something I think I should tell you."

"I hope she doesn't need your advice on what goes on after she's married." John joked and Anna slapped at his shoulder. "If you told her anything she'd be suspicious of us."

"That kind of talk is beneath you."

"I didn't think so but I stand corrected." John held the door for her, "What did she ask you?"

"She told me she and Mr. Matthew have planned a honeymoon trip to America to visit her grandmother."

"I already feel sorry for the poor man." John shook his head, "First he has the courage to marry Lady Mary and then he's submitting to an inquisition at the hands of her other grandmother."

"Have you met her?"

"Only through his Lordship's descriptions and what I hear." John lowered his voice and whispered conspiratorially, "I usually take three witnesses to know something is true and when his Lordship, her Ladyship, and the Dowager are all in agreement then it's something to believe."

"The point is, Lady Mary asked if I would go with them to America for the honeymoon."

"It'd seem awfully crowded." John grinned and Anna pointed a finger at him.

"You'd best behave yourself Mr. Bates or I won't tell you the best part."

"And what's that?" John paused at the top of the stairs, not wanting to share this moment with the other servants.

"Because I'll go with her, she'll speak to his Lordship about our request. With her influence he'll say yes and we can get married."

"If you're away in America then how will we do that?" John drew her to the side so they weren't blocking the stairs. "I'm excited for you to go and see America and I know Lady Mary'd be helpless without you but that'd delay us, even if His Lordship does say yes."

"They won't leave until a week after their wedding so we'll have time."

"We'd get a night, two at most." John narrowed his eyes at her, "Is that enough time for you to have your way with me Ms. Smith?"

Anna scanned around for signs of the other servants before she stepped closer to John. She pulled his neck down with one hand so she could whisper in his ear while her other hand brushed purposefully over the front of his trousers. "No time is enough for that, Mr. Bates, but it'll have to do."

He coughed and Anna drew back, flitting a finger over the clothes on John's arm. "You might want to put those to good use for a moment."

"Minx."

"Tease." Anna stuck her tongue out at him and went down the stairs to join the other servants. When she reached the bottom she let out a gasp as she saw Aphrodite bending over to examine something on the wall. "What are you doing here?"

"Did you know there's a knick in this wall?" Aphrodite straightened, pointing to it, "How'd you get something like that unless someone's kicking the wall? Does Mr. Carson know about this?"

"I wouldn't know and I hardly care." Anna went to leave her behind but Aphrodite caught up to her, "Yes?"

"So you and John're getting married?"

"Why ask what you already know?"

"It's nicer than assuming something. That can sometimes freak people out and I want to be polite."

"Because showing up at random moments to insinuate yourself into our lives is more polite?"

"I promise," Aphrodite raised her hands, "I didn't join your fun on the small grassy plot until after you'd helped John. Nor did I see anything after you two left the theater. I believe in the privacy of those moments."

"Then what'd you want now?"

"Just to congratulate you. You're getting married and all that."

"We don't have his Lordship's approval."

"Pish," Aphrodite waved a hand, "He'll approve once Mary talks his ear off about it. Besides, he'd rather risk you two mooning over one another in his house then have to replace you both. No one keeps secrets like the two of you and in a house this big that's a rare thing."

"Are you waiting for an invitation then?" Anna fitted her head through one of the boot room aprons and took a pair of Lady Mary's shoes in hand.

"If I want to see your wedding I'll just be in the back." Aphrodite took a stool across the table from Anna. "Though it'd be nice to be asked."

"Seeing as you'll come anyway I don't see why not." Anna rubbed the brush in some polish, "Once we have his Lordship's approval for it I don't see why we can't do it immediately."

"Don't you want a church wedding?" Aphrodite leaned over and sniffed at the polish before gagging and leaning back, "That's disgusting."

"That's hard work and we can't," Anna brushed along the shoe in practiced, smooth strokes, "Since Mr. Bates is divorced the Church wouldn't let us."

"So it's the registry office then?" Aphrodite shrugged, "I guess it's inside."

"Location is hardly important. People get married in castles at great expense and are miserable for the rest of their lives while others spend pennies for the best happiness of their lives. I'd rather the right man than the right wedding." Anna examined a scuff on the shoe and focused her efforts there. "Surely you understand that."

"I never had a wedding and not sure I had the right man so I'll have to take your word for it."

"But you're married. At least according to what I've read."

"We're going through a separation." Aphrodite picked up the other shoe but Anna took it back, "And it wasn't so much a marriage as one day someone said we were together and we were."

"What was it like?"

"Not great. I wasn't faithful to him, at all, and he knew it. The whole world knew it." Aphrodite tapped a rhythm on the table Anna didn't recognize, "I guess part of what I love so much about you and John is that you really do love one another and you want this for yourselves. That's a pretty significant thing. You've fought for it and now you get it."

"Wouldn't you fight for it, if you could have it?" Anna put the shoe down, looking at the multi-colored, bedecked, outgoing woman who somehow looked smaller than she ever had before.

"Sure. Of course I would. After centuries of watching people find love, in all it's forms, and trying to help people find it in its better forms I want to find that for myself but I don't think I'll get it."

"Why not?"

"In your Christian tradition it's the idea that wickedness never was happiness." Aphrodite held up her fingers to tick them off in a list, "In Hinduism it's known as karma and the idea is your actions come back around to effect your next life but since I'm immortal there is no next life so it hits me now. In Buddhism it's similar but it's that your harm to another creature will result in harm to you. Some tribes call it the circle and in a few decades they'll just say 'what goes around comes around'."

"You think you can't be happy because you wasted your opportunity?"

"Something like that." Aphrodite shrugged, "In a way this could be considered penance in the hopes that I can square myself with my Maker so that one day when I die, if that day ever comes for me, I can prove I did good works."

"I don't think God keeps a checklist."

"Some people say it's all about engraving the image of God on our countenances and when we die we then judge how well we know God by how much who we are resembles Him." Aphrodite rubbed her hands together, "That's a pretty good way to look at it for me."

"So helping people fall in love helps that along?"

"What's more Godlike then love for another person?" Aphrodite stood and stretched, "Your God asked His Son to die for all mankind and He did. Something about, 'there's no greater thing then that a man lay down his life for his friends' or something like that right?"

"You're very familiar with the Bible for someone who's got the name of a Greek goddess." Anna picked up the other shoe.

"I've been around and you've got to know your audience. Besides," Aphrodite gestured to the room, "If I want to be the embodiment of True Love I've got to understand love in all it's forms and understanding that kind of love just goes with the times and the places."

"And how well do you think you understand it now?"

"I've only just scratched the surface."

Aphrodite vanished and Anna went back to her polishing.


	12. Chapter 12

John beamed as he took Anna's hand in the registry office. Lady Mary had insisted on coming, dragging her new husband along with her. In her words, "it's what one does for those that mean a great deal to them" and they were honored to have her. Lord Grantham, due to previous engagements, couldn't attend and sent his apologies but Mrs. Hughes stood as one of the witnesses, occasionally dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.

John recited the words and slid the ring on Anna's finger with more joy that he'd ever felt in his whole life. He even felt his hand tremble slightly as Anna did the same for him. They couldn't stop grinning like idiots at each other and when the Registrar said they could kiss John couldn't move fast enough. He pulled gently on her hands and she met him in the middle, smiling as wide as her face would allow.

After a moment they broke apart, Anna giggling to herself as John tucked her hand into the crook of his arm. They left with their small party and John basked in the sunlight of the out of doors. As he brought his head down, he saw Aphrodite leaning against a tree in the distance. She put the crook of her finger to her head, as if tipping an invisible hat, before stuffing her hands in her pockets and walking away.

John did not have time to wonder why she did not vanish as Mr. Matthew was busy shaking his hand and Lady Mary offered her congratulations. He thanked them, kissed Anna briefly, and then listened intently as Mrs. Hughes gave him a stern finger.

"You take good care of her Mr. Bates. I expect her to be only happy with you, you understand."

"I do Mrs. Hughes," John looked down at his glowing bride, "And I will."

"Good." Mrs. Hughes put her handkerchief back in her bag, "Then I've nothing more to say on the matter except that I'll see you both back at Downton day after tomorrow."

"We'll be there Mrs. Hughes." Anna hugged the older woman, "Thank you for coming."

"It was a pleasure dear." Mrs. Hughes stepped back as Lady Mary came forward, holding a small envelope in her hand.

"I do hope this isn't too forward but Papa and Mama thought they should do something for the two of you, since they couldn't come, and asked that I give you this." Lady Mary handed the envelope to Anna, "Now we'll send the car for you day after tomorrow so there's no reason to be late. We've got a boat to catch the day after that and I'll need help packing."

"We'll be nothing if not punctual." Anna opened the envelope and her mouth fell open. "I don't know what to say milady."

"That you'll enjoy yourselves and not think about America until you get back. There's plenty to do but it'll keep until then." Mr. Matthew took Lady Mary's arm, "And Lord Grantham wanted to congratulate you both. That's why he gave you the reservation at the hotel."

"It's too generous we can't possibly accept." John tried to insist but Lady Mary shushed him.

"It's too late now. Mrs. Hughes helped get your things together for your honeymoon since it's the least we could do." She rolled her shoulders, looking very satisfied with herself, "And it's a nice hotel so they won't let you cancel."

John sighed, Anna almost pleading with him, "We're overwhelmed with gratitude."

"We are taking your wife away from you quite soon after your wedding so I'd say that's really nothing on our end to give you this." Mr. Matthew shook both of their hands again, "And within a fortnight there'll be a cottage ready so when Anna gets back the two of you'll have a home of your own."

"Thank you milady." Anna dabbed at her eyes and Lady Mary almost looked scandalized.

"There's no need to cry. You're about to have the best days of your life. Don't waste any of your tears on this." Lady Mary waved them away, "Now go and enjoy your honeymoon."

John took Anna's arm and they walked in the direction of the hotel. True to Lady Mary's word when they gave their names- Anna almost unable to speak through her happy laughter at the sound of 'Mr. and Mrs. Bates'- the footman showed them to their room and explained their cases had been brought up that morning. John tipped the man, who nodded his gratitude, and left them to their own devices.

Anna broke away from John to see the washroom, gasping at the size of the tub. John came up behind her and nodded approvingly, "I might actually fit my entire body in that."

"We could try."

"Alright then." John moved past Anna and climbed into the tub in his suit, sinking into place as she laughed.

"What are you doing Mr. Bates?"

"Seeing if I fit in the tub." He smiled at her, draping his arms over the side and pretending to relax as though in a warm bath, "Feels fantastic."

He cracked an eye open at her, "Care to join me?"

"Maybe later." She waved him out, "Come on."

He climbed from the tub and followed her to the rest of the room. She walked to the edge of the bed, touching the spread with delicate fingers as she walked up one side. She pressed gently on the pillows and even pulled a corner straight. John just watched her, waiting until she stopped at the base of the bed and brought her hands up under her chin.

"This is beautiful."

John came up behind her, enfolding her in his grip with his hands around her waist. He leaned his head on her shoulder, kissing her just beneath the ear. "It suits you."

"I could never afford to sleep in a bed like this."

"Well tonight and tomorrow night… and perhaps even all day tomorrow, we get to." John continued kissing down her throat to her collar and then made his way back up, feeling her shiver, "Care to see if it's as comfortable as advertised."

"Don't you want-" Anna whimpered as he teethed at her earlobe, bringing one of her hands up to hold his head to her neck.

"Want what?"

"To eat?"

"Not food." John slid one hand to hold at her hip as he pulled her closer to his body, his other hand working up her blouse to pop the first button loose. "Are you hungry?"

"If I was-" Anna took a deep breath and almost unconsciously rocked back into him as he stroked a finger between her breasts, "I think I can wait."

"I'd hate to delay you dear if you are hungry." John popped the last button and worked the blouse from the skirt, "If you want to eat now we can-"

Anna spun in his hands and pulled him to kiss her.

Unlike their kiss at the Registry Office, chaste and socially acceptable, this had John almost screaming for air in a second. Anna plunged her tongue into his mouth with a force he did not believe her size allowed. Her grip on his neck and the side of his face almost prevented him from moving. Not to mention the way she thrust her hips toward his, rubbing against him like a cat in heat.

John gripped tighter with his hand at her hip while his other hand moved to her hat, working the hatpin loose enough to let both fall to the ground. He worked a hand into her hair, dropping the pins on the bed behind Anna as carefully as possible before running his fingers through her tresses. He had never touched real gold before but he was sure it felt like this.

Anna released him for just a moment and it was enough to get her blouse off her arms. John used the second to shuck off his own jacket just as Anna's deft fingers worked his tie loose and almost snapped him in the face with the force she used to yank it off his neck. John tried to find the fastenings for her skirt but when she took his mouth again it was all he could do to hold onto her.

Her fingers were everywhere and John wondered how she maintained her focus since her effort at his mouth had not lagged but she had his waistcoat and shirt unbuttoned in no time. When her fingers scratched through his chest hair, smoothing over his skin, he moved his own hands around her back to work the ties loose on her corset. His fingers were not careful enough on the fastenings so he could only whine in her mouth.

Anna took the hint and popped her corset fastenings in quick succession, almost throwing it behind her to free her arms enough to force his shirt and waistcoat off his body. They both swayed a moment, understandably lightheaded and John tipped Anna just enough to have her fall back onto the bed. She bounced slightly and giggled as John leaned over enough to kiss her quickly.

He pulled back when she reached for more but only answered her whine with a removal of his shoes. She seemed captivated, watching him move, and John took advantage of the moment. For the first time, since he suggested it without words, he was in control of their actions. He bent, removing his belt, and then took one of her feet in his hands.

Anna leaned on her elbows, still in her skirt and chemise, as John unlatched her shoes. He was slow, and gentle, and ran his fingers up her legs to find her stockings. He rolled them down with care, placing them next to her shoes. John shifted toward the bed and only grinned at Anna's expectant face as he located each of the pins, even moving her slightly to grab the final one. He placed them in her hat and pushed it over the floor so all his concentration could go to his new bride.

She put her hands on his arms as he moved up the bed but she did not lead again. Anna merely trailed her fingers up and down his arms, chest, face, anything she could reach as he finally found the catch for her skirt and popped it loose. She lifted her hips so he could pull it off. He dropped it on the floor next to his shirt before unfastening his own trousers and dropping them to the floor.

With the only clothing left between them underwear, John stalked toward the bed. Anna shifted up as he knelt on the edge and crawled toward her. The darkness in her eyes probably matched his own and when John took her lips with his again he felt her fervor in the way her body writhed against his.

He moved his hands down her chemise and lifted slightly so he could run his fingers over her stomach. She held him to her in the kiss with one hand on the back of his neck but the other wrapped over his shoulders, trying to tug him closer to her. But John had other plans and he lifted the chemise enough to stop their kiss and pull it over her head.

They both froze. The passionate speed halted to a crawl as John just stared at her. He watched the blush rise in her cheeks and over her neck but John met Anna's worried eyes with a kiss to both her cheeks, right where the blush bloomed. She sighed and reached for him but John kissed down to her neck.

Her hands tried to find a hold on him but John captured both of the wandering appendages and lifted them over her head. She whimpered and he kissed her before whispering in her ear, "Do you remember when I said I wasn't hungry for food?"

She nodded and John worked his way down her neck, alternating his kisses with gentle sucks to leave a trail of bright red patches. He looked up to meet her eyes as his other hand touched her bare side. She twitched with it and then moaned as his hand moved up to caress her breast. "I'm hungry for something else."

"What?" She managed as his gentle brushes had her trying to get closer and farther away.

"You." John placed his lips right where his fingers had just brushed and Anna cried out. He released her hands and she immediately used them to hold him to her as he continued his loving adoration of her perfect form. He stroked down her sides, kissing all over her chest before massaging her delicate breasts. She tried to speak, perhaps to tell him what she wanted, but the only sounds John drew from her were gasps and exclamations.

These only spurred John onward and he worked his way down to the line of her knickers. Anna, almost delirious with the sensations, nearly bucked off the bed as he traced a trail under the waistband. She lifted herself enough to see him as John kept his fingers just at the edges.

They stared at one another and John put a hand to her cheek, "Do you trust me?"

"With anything." Anna put her hands over his and pushed her knickers down.

John dragged the material the rest of the way down before flinging them in the same direction of her chemise. He ran his hands back up her legs, tickling her hips. He smiled to himself as he saw the object of his intentions, remembering how she'd fallen apart in his arms in the alley after the recital.

"Then trust you'll enjoy this."

Anna nodded, but still had a slight shadow at the corner of her eyes. John took one hand and held one of hers in his grip. He kissed the back of her hand as he crouched back on his legs. His other hand moved toward her center, circling the bundle of nerves at the top. Anna cried out, leaning back against the pillows.

John kept his fingers light, his touch firm but quick, and stroked around the outside of her folds. He worked over her inner thighs, treating her almost like chocolate that might melt in too much heat. He listened to the sounds she made, watched how her chest rose and fell with her quickening breath, and smelled the mixed tang of her sweat from his efforts and her body's response to the delicate play he administered to her most responsive nerves.

When she was almost incoherent John ran his hand down from her hip to hold one thigh as his other hand opened her just enough to slip a finger inside. She groaned, rising with her hips to try and meet the feeling. John lowered his head to kiss right at the top of the crux between her legs and Anna's head came off the pillows. Their eyes met and he bit down slightly there. Her eyes practically rolled back into her head as he continued his ministrations with his finger, adding another before too long.

He kissed lower and lower, finally gaining the position he sought for some time. As his fingers curled inside her, he sucked her bundle of nerves. She tried to respond with words or motions but nothing could quite come together. John sucked lightly at the area and she nearly shrieked. He slowed his fingers, wanting to taste her as much as possible, and worked in tandem with the exertions of his mouth and tongue.

Within moments, now with three fingers working her in a gliding scrape and his mouth worrying every bit of flesh between sucking licks, she screamed. John kept going, drawing out her sounds until his name was all she could manage to say. Her body shuddered, her legs and stomach trembling under his touch as he used his free hand to massage her down from the high.

John withdrew his fingers from her, licking them as Anna finally turned to stare at him. Her eyes were no longer blue, blown out from arousal and pleasure. She managed to get an arm around his neck and pulled down to kiss her.

The force of her hold surprised him, given her orgasm, but when she sucked at his mouth John was lost. His own arousal rested on her stomach and she shifted toward it while drawing the taste of herself from him. He tried to keep himself upright as Anna's leg came to his side but a moment later she used her hand at his neck and her leg at his side to put his back to the bed.

She broke kiss, breathing hard, and smiled down at his surprise.

"I rather think it's my turn Mr. Bates."


	13. Chapter 13

Anna worked her leg over his to sit on his waist. She took John's hand in hers and moved it above his head as she laid her whole body over his. He groaned as she twisted against him, basking in the sensation of her overly sensitized skin rubbing with his. She kissed him quickly, moving to his jaw line and nibbling there while her hand lightly scratched down his arm.

She could still feel his underwear and as she moved down, kissing and lightly biting while trailing her nails over his chest, she could feel the pulsing heat of her goal pressed against her stomach. She ground against it, leaving John to grunt as his hips moved of their own accord.

Anna grinned at him, licking her lips when their eyes met. He reached for her but Anna pushed his hands away, sliding down his legs as her lips and hands reached his waistband. She worked her hands under the fabric and kissed down his right leg as she pulled John's underwear aside.

Under her lips and tongue she felt his scars. She felt John seize a bit beneath her but Anna teethed around the area, sparking the nerves and John to shift. When she reached his feet she tossed his underwear at the bottom of the bed and worked her way back up, kissing the other leg.

When she reached his waist Anna stayed seated on his thighs and brought her hands around to his hips. She squeezed there before rubbing closer and closer to his arousal. He tried not to move but the twitches and judders of his body had her all the more determined.

His jaw set as her hand grasped him but she didn't pull or massage him like she had in the field. Instead she lowered her head, blowing a stream of hot breath. He spasmed and Anna grinned at him. She kissed up his shaft to the top and then felt John's hand on her shoulder.

She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. The poor man looked absolutely wrecked and she had yet to do anything. He swallowed, trying to find words, "Anna, you don't have to."

"And if I want to?"

"You don't-"

"John," She put a finger on his lips, pushing his back down on the covers, "You're not the only one hungry for something not food."

He moaned and Anna took him in her mouth. She held the base, wrapping her tongue over him and drawing out before diving back down. She hollowed out her cheeks and ran her teeth over him lightly enough to send tingles through her and shudders through him. She broke hold momentarily to lick up the underside and kiss over the top. She experimented with shallow sucks, full strokes, and even brought her other hand around to caresses his sack.

John gripped the sheets with white knuckles and just as Anna tasted him John stopped her. His chest was heaving as he kissed her roughly. He pulled at her mouth, tugging all of his taste as she had tugged her own from him earlier, and finally broke contact. "If you don't stop I'll finish too soon."

"We wouldn't want that." Anna used his shoulder and seated herself just above him, holding herself up on her knees, "I want to fully be your wife."

She used her hand still on him and aimed to sink down properly.

John held her to him and she gasped, trying to breathe through the feeling of being complete and whole.

He kissed at her neck, whispering toward her ear, "How does it feel, Mrs. Bates?"

Anna did not respond with words. Instead she rose up and sank again, twisting slightly with this motion to feel him strike something else inside her. John moved his hands to her hips and gained his own hold on her as one of her arms wrapped over the back of his shoulder and the other founds it's way over his heart. Anna felt one of his hands move to cover hers at his chest. He pulled it away and ensured they were staring at one another before he kissed it.

They moved slowly at first, each trying to find and draw out the moments of pleasure between the two of them. But soon Anna could not move fast enough and felt every upward thrust of John's hips to hers. His hand holding hers released her fingers to moved down her body. He fingered where they joined together and Anna gasped as he pressed in time with her movements.

"Let go Anna." His rough voice filled her ears as he filled her everywhere else and in a moment Anna practically screamed out John's name.

She clutched at his body, holding herself to him through the shivers as he turned them. Her back came in contact with the mattress again and she felt John find the energy to pick up the pace again. He buried his head near her shoulder as her hands dug into his back, the motions perpetuating the lightning moving through her whole body from her core.

When he finally released his whole body tightened. He called out her name and Anna could feel herself becoming Mrs. Bates, fully and truly. Under her hands his muscles contracted and loosened as he slowed and tried to draw out the last of their mutual pleasures.

Anna felt John try to shift off her but Anna pulled him to her. He succumbed to her grip and rested as much to her side as possible. In a few moments they both turned, still connected, to face one another. John's eyes were half closed as he just held onto her, stroking up one arm.

When he finally found the energy he pulled away only enough to grab the edge of the covers and pull them down. He and Anna worked their way under, Anna immediately getting as close to him as possible, and stared at him. John grasped her hand, kissed it, and then ran his fingers up her arm.

"Well, Mrs. Bates, you've had your way with me." They both grinned at one another, laughing. "I hope you don't regret it."

"How could I regret that?" Anna put her hand over his at her shoulder. "I only know that I'm now who I was always meant to be."

"Truly?"

"Yes." She leaned forward to kiss John, "And that after everything we've shared this is by far my favorite thing."

"I should hope so," John kissed under her chin, "Because that was only the beginning."


	14. Chapter 14

Anna felt something brushing across her shoulders and she squinted a moment before she realized the sun was setting, not rising, and her bed was far more comfortable than it should be. She shifted and felt her lower body aching a moment before sleep cleared enough to understand the sensation both at her back and between her legs.

She smiled and looked over her shoulder to see John, head propped on one hand, stroking over her shoulders. "Good afternoon Mr. Bates."

"Good afternoon Mrs. Bates. I hope I didn't wake you."

"There are worse ways to wake up."

"I could stop," His fingers paused on her back.

"I'd rather you didn't, if it's all the same to you." Anna faced forward again, shutting her eyes to focus entirely on the feeling of his fingers on her shoulders.

"As the lady insists."

"The lady does." Anna sighed when John continued his motions, "I don't think I've ever felt more comfortable in my entire life."

"That's good to hear," John kissed the back of her neck, moving closer and Anna felt something at her lower back. "A husband always wants to hear that his efforts are appreciated."

"And what kind of effort was it?" Anna smiled to herself, refusing to turn as one of John's arms moved over her waist, pulling her back to his chest.

"The best kind." He rested his head on her shoulder, "Are you in any pain?"

Anna moved slightly on her arm to see him better, "Why do you ask?"

"Well," John reddened slightly, "I've heard that for- Some women have- I don't know if-"

"Shhh." Anna put a finger over John's lips and kissed him, "Even if it did hurt, it's more than worth the soreness."

'So you enjoyed yourself?"

"I rather did." Anna went back to her side, "Sometime soon I'd like to enjoy it again."

"You're very cheeky this afternoon Mrs. Bates." John hugged her closer and Anna put one hand over his to drag it up under her chin while her other hand moved to his hip, stroking down the scars on his leg

"I'm supposed to be. I'm the bride who's about to go away and lose her husband. I can't afford to waste any time."

"Not the blushing bride then?" John used the hand under her chin to brush over her collarbone.

"I may be the bride but I'm not blushing. Not anymore." Anna slipped her hand up faster than John could move and squeezed his arousal. He bucked into her palm and she felt him behind her. "Are you ready for another round Mr. Bates?"

John turned her head enough to kiss her in response before his hand moved downward on her body. Anna kept her grip on him, tugging lightly and then tripping her fingers over him with barely-there touches. He moaned in her ear before burying his face in her hair.

But he was not the passive participant Anna expected at this stage. His hand kneaded over her breasts, drew patterns over her stomach, and then massaged around her hips. Anna breathed deeply, trying to calm her speeding heart, but her only response was to move her hand faster on him. His hand continued downward, pressing on the hood of her nerves to send her arching back against him.

He kissed at her throat and shoulders, trying to keep his own hips in check while his fingers rubbed and slipped their way into her. Anna moaned at the sensation of his fingers moving inside her and grabbed his own arousal harder. Her motions matched the speed of her breathing and soon John was rushing to keep pace with her.

Anna could hardly think as John moved his mouth close to her ear. "Will you blush if we're daring?"

"How so?" She hissed through gritted teeth as his fingers curled inside her, scraping down her firing nerve endings.

"Just follow my lead."

John moved the hand formerly under his head to her shoulder and used his body to shift Anna onto her knees, with him behind her and his fingers still playing her like an instrument from the inside. His now free hand slid over her skin and up to her breasts, massaging there almost counter to the speed he built up inside her. Anna felt her own hand, almost slack on him, moving erratically as she tried to keep pace with him now.

When Anna felt herself coiling tighter and tighter, a spring ready to release, John took his free hand and pressed with just the right amount of force on the top of her sex. She cried out his name, falling forward but his arms caught her. Contrary to her expectation, instead of pulling her back to him he lowered her just enough so that she rested on her hands and knees. In a moment his leg shifted hers apart and he moved into the space. Anna looked over her shoulder at him and John just smiled.

"Trust me."

A moment later Anna felt John enter her. She hung her head, closing her eyes as her sparking nerves lit up again, sending lightning to her very fingertips. Her groan seemed to be the signal John needed. His hands moved lightly to her hips and he leaned over her back.

"Are you alright?"

Anna nodded and leaned back enough to kiss him, pulling enough at his mouth to draw his tongue into hers. John propelled forward at this and Anna moaned into their kiss. She twisted her tongue around his as he thrust up again, finding an angle that had her breaking their kiss to groan toward the bed sheets.

With his hands at her hips John kept the pace slow but Anna soon got the hang of the motions. As he drew out and entered her- mixing his speeds with fast, short strokes and slow, long pulls- Anna pushed back toward him. She gyrated her hips when she felt him as deeply as he could go, leaving him grunting with deep sounds to counter her own higher moans.

When Anna reached back to grab his leg, digging her fingers into the scars there, John's resolve almost snapped. He moved one hand to her shoulder and pulled her up enough and her could kiss at her chin before sucking a line of kisses to his shoulder where he bit down. Anna just clung to him tighter while his other hand pressed on her center in time with his now lightning motions, pistoning into her with all the energy he had.

A few more motions and he pinched at her nerves, sending her calling out his name as he almost shouted hers to finish. Anna would have tipped over if he was not holding tightly to her, his body still spasming a few more times before finally pulling from her.

John lowered them both to the bed again, still holding Anna to him as her body shuddered in the aftershocks. She shifted, laying against his side as he rolled to his back, breathing hard. Anna pulled herself to put her head on his chest and he smiled weakly at her.

Anna stroked a finger down his face and grinned, "You look tired Mr. Bates."

"It's my age caught up to me."

"Nonsense." She kissed his cheek, "You're the perfect age."

"It's true." He kissed her hand before pulling it into his own, his fingers moving between hers. "If I was younger I never would've had the self control I needed to not ravish you the moment you looked the least bit vulnerable."

"Was that you're intention in that alleyway Mr. Bates?"

"I wanted to." John moved some hair out of her face, "But you deserved this bed, this room, and this as your first."

"I thought it was our second." Anna smirked at him and moved to the side when he tried to tickle at her sides. She grabbed a pillow to defend herself and they devolved into a scuffle before John managed to wrest the pillow from her grip and catch her hands in his so he could kiss her.

"Is that your way of saying you won, Mr. Bates?" Anna dodged his second kiss and John shrugged.

"Maybe it's my way of saying I look forward to the third." He kissed her again before moving off the bed, walking over to their cases. "But I think we should eat something before we waste away into nothing."

Anna rolled onto her stomach on the bed, watching John. He noticed and stopped, holding a pair of trousers in his hand and a shirt in the other. "What?"

"I'm just admiring my husband." Anna raked her eyes over his naked body and ran her tongue over her lips. "Aren't I supposed to honor you forever?"

"I'm not sure that's what they meant." John set the shirt and trousers on a chair and walked back toward her, finding his underwear on the floor before collecting the clothes they left in their wake a few hours before. He placed them on the bed before crouching in front of her on the bed, "But if that's your interpretation I won't say no. I liked honoring you this way."

"Then I guess you'll have to hurry back to see how I intend to honor you next." Anna got on her knees, hands on either side of her legs, "I've got a few ideas."

"I thought you were so demure when I married you." John kissed her quickly and Anna looped her arms over his shoulders. "I never expected this level of naughty behavior."

"Well you'll have to get used to it since I intend to be this way with you for a long time and you're stuck with it."

"Yes I am." John kissed the end of her nose, "For good and proper."

"Good and proper." Anna kissed him, "I'll straighten up while you find us something to eat shall I?"

"It might be best since you have all the ideas." John winked at her, hurrying into the washroom as Anna twisted on the bed, staring at the state of the room.

It wasn't a horrible mess. Their clothes from the wedding needed hanging and the bedclothes were in a right state but the rest of the room was rather pleasant. It wouldn't take her long.

Anna stood, pulling John's discarded shirt from the bed and working her arms through the sleeves before buttoning it enough to have something to wear as she crossed the room to her case. She could have kissed Mrs. Hughes when she found her dressing gown inside and quickly switched John's shirt for the gown, tying it tightly around her waist.

She moved the cases from their place to the closet, popping them open so both she and John could easily see the contents. Then she gathered her clothes, hanging what she could and noting the wrinkles she would have to steam out later. John's suit was only in a slightly better state but would need some careful treatment when they got back to Downton. Anna smiled, thinking about how the repairs of their clothes were now her concern. Her _husband's_ clothes were her concern.

"Great day for a wedding huh?" Anna turned to see Aphrodite sitting on one of the chairs, her leg crossed over her other knee at the ankle. "It's fall so there's that little nip in the air, which I love. The only thing better is a spring wedding. In spring it's sunny and lovely. Can't say I'd pick a better day than this. April 25th and all that… all you need's a light jacket."

"What?"

"Nothing, a reference you won't get in your lifetime." Aphrodite waved Anna's concern away and stared around the room. "This is a nice selection. Robert probably picked it because Cora suggested it. They spent two anniversaries here… in the years when Mary reminded her father in time for something other than a three-course dinner."

"What are you doing here?" Anna crossed her arms over her chest and stared down the confused looking goddess.

"Just checking up on you. It's my job and all that."

"Aren't you done now that we're married?"

"Only if we live in a fairytale and you think there aren't any other problems ahead for you." Aphrodite stood, clapping her hands together. "Remember, True Love is the enduring emotion and not the temporary infatuation."

"I'd say it's been enduring so far." Anna muttered and Aphrodite nodded.

"I've no doubt he's got the stamina and drive of a stallion since most of the Celtic warriors do," Aphrodite paused and Anna felt her cheeks heat, "I wonder if he has a kilt because the things you can do with one of those… true Scotsman and all that."

"You were saying something about True Love." Anna tried desperately to steer the conversation and Aphrodite snapped back to the present.

"Yes, it's not just married and done. This is forever and I'm probably going to be around to help you out with that. Less than before, obviously, but still around."

"Oh," Anna took a deep breath, "Do you not have faith in us?"

"I've the utmost faith in you. It's the world I don't trust." Aphrodite put a hand on Anna's shoulder, "Just know that the road only gets harder from here on in."

"That's not comforting."

"It is if you remember you're not alone." Aphrodite jerked a thumb toward the door, "You've got John now."

Anna glanced down at her hand where the plain band sat. She smiled as she touched it with light fingers. "I do."

"It was a lovely service, by the way." Aphrodite pointed to the door, "I've got another engagement… quite literally, but I'll be around."

Anna waved to her as she vanished and went back to arranging the room how she wanted it when John returned.


	15. Chapter 15

John stared up at the ceiling in the early morning light, his fingers tracing over Anna's back as she slept on his chest. His fingers slipped slightly and she shivered, burrowing closer to him and under the covers. John smiled down at her, pulling a strand of golden hair from her face to see her more clearly.

"If you say that a more beautiful woman never walked the earth you'll then have to specify if you're speaking generally or specifically for your experience."

John shook his head as Aphrodite drew a chair closer. "Isn't it late for you?"

"Time is relative to the immortal." Aphrodite pointed at Anna, "She won't wake up while we're talking I promise."

"If you're already in communication with her why would it matter that we're talking?"

"Some things you need to hear and she doesn't and vice versa."

"I don't keep secrets from Anna anymore."

"It's not secrets John," Aphrodite leaned sideways in the chair, "In this case it's more that there're things you need to do that she doesn't. Advice you need she's already learned."

"So what do I have left to learn?"

"A ton I'm sure but I'm only here for the parts that involve love. Though you're both doing marvelously at it so far." Aphrodite held up a thumb, "Good on you bro."

"Then why are you still here?"

"Anna asked me the same question earlier and now I'm wondering if it's because y'all don't like my company."

"I'd prefer it when I'm dressed." John motioned to the bed and Aphrodite held up her hands.

"I get it and I'm almost gone. Just know, you'll need to hold onto her as tightly as possible."

"I plan to."

"Good." Aphrodite stood, moving the chair back, "Then best wishes to you both and all the happiness you could possibly need until I see you again."

"We'll see you again?"

"Of course. You're love's not over." Aphrodite's form wavered a moment and she groaned. "Crap."

"What's wrong?" John sat up, carefully moving Anna over to the pillow.

"I may have to use the door." Aphrodite turned away as John found his dressing gown. "Sorry to inconvenience you like this."

"I did wonder, earlier, why you walked away after the wedding instead of vanishing like you normally do." John escorted her to the door and opened it.

"Success."

"What?"

"The whole point of me helping lovely people, like the two of you, find love is so that I learn more about it. Ingrain those characteristics into my character and all that."

"Then what?" John made a face, "I'm sorry I don't think I entirely understand."

"When I know what True Love is, once I've helped enough people find it, I slowly lose my immortality."

"Why?"

"Because, contrary to the belief of those who perish with the rigors of time, immortality is a curse."

"I don't see how."

Aphrodite sighed, as if looking for a way to explain a complicated concept outside the realm of experience for someone else. "According to your Bible when God cast Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden He set cherubim and a flaming sword to guard the path to the Tree of Life. Why do you think He did that?"

"You're assuming that I believe that's true."

"Humor me." Aphrodite crossed her arms, "Why do you think God would boot Adam and Eve from the Garden but still take the time to guard the Tree of Life?"

John blustered a minute, "Perhaps to ensure they couldn't get back into the Garden."

"He only guarded the Tree."

"To make sure they didn't eat it the way they did the Tree of Knowledge."

"Do you know why?"

"No," John pinched the bridge of his nose, "But I do hope you'll tell me."

"He did it so that in their mortal state they could change and return to His presence. Otherwise they would've lived forever in their sins."

"Still not entirely following."

"God stopped Adam and Eve from eating from the Tree of Life because then they would've been immortal. If they're immortal they have to live forever in a fallen state, out of the reach of God. He gave them mortality to protect them."

"Then you, as an immortal…"

"Am being punished. Immortality is my curse, not my gift." Aphrodite nodded, "My penance is that I spent the last thousand plus years trying to better understand humanity and True Love."

"And once you do you'll be free?"

"Free to live and die like anyone else. To find love like anyone else, and maybe, other forms of happiness." Aphrodite went to step out the door but John called out.

"So what does that have to do with you using the door now or needing to walk away earlier?"

"Because," Aphrodite leaned closer in a conspiratorial whisper, "I'm already starting to lose my skills to humanity."

"That's unfortunate."

"Are you kidding?" Aphrodite spun in the hallway, "I couldn't be happier. This is what I've been working for through all the turns of time. This is a gift, John. Enjoy yours yeah?"

John did not respond, only watched her walk down the hallway until she disappeared from sight.

He closed the door and went to return to bed where he saw Anna turning in her sleep, blinking her eyes in the fringes of dawn through the window. She took a deep breath and reached out a hand for him, her mouth moving to a frown when she did not find him next to her. John removed his dressing gown and kneeled on the bed next to her as she turned in his direction.

"Why were you up? We're on our honeymoon." She pulled toward him, still half asleep. "We don't have to leave this room if we don't want to."

"Too many years of habit waking up early." John kissed the top of her head, holding her close. "And part of me wants to use that large tub in the other room if you're amenable."

"I might be." Anna grinned at him, "I do hope this is an invitation."

"It might be." John kissed her again and slid out of her grip, "I'll get the water started then."

"I'll be right here."

John went to the washroom and took a moment figuring out the workings of the tub before he got the temperature just right. He let the hot water spew into the large porcelain basin and watched it fill until he was sure it would be enough to cover him, and definitely Anna. He tested it with his hand and shook it off, nodding at the rising steam. By the time he got back the temperature would be perfect.

When John went back into the room he saw Anna, wrapped in a sheet, staring out the window. He tried not to make a sound as he came up behind her and rested his head on her shoulder. She brought a hand back around to his hair, grazing through it with her delicate fingers.

"The bath will be ready in a minute."

"Hm." Anna kept looking out the window and John tried to follow where her eyes were. He noticed a woman, with a little girl in her arms, kissing a man goodbye as he hurried to work in the early morning.

"What's got your attention love?"

"Nothing." Anna turned in his arms, looping her arms around his neck, "Just looking."

"I know when you're lying Mrs. Bates. I can see right through you." John kept his grip on her hips. "What's on your mind?"

"Maybe you'll have to get it out of me." Anna smiled and John raised an eyebrow.

"How would you suggest?"

"I'll leave it to your expertise." Anna ran a hand down John's chest. "I'm sure you have something."

"I do." John pushed Anna back toward the wall, holding her there with his weight as he kissed at her neck. "So what are you thinking?"

"Nothing." Anna sighed with the motion, the sheet dropping to cover John's hands at her waist as her fingers dug into his shoulders.

"Nothing?" John kissed down to her breast and bit lightly so Anna jumped in his grip. "Are you sure it was nothing?"

"Maybe it was something." Anna gasped as one of his hands moved to cup her breast while he continued kissing the other. "But I'm not ready to tell you yet."

"Really?" John switched to the other side, the sheet falling completely to the floor now that his hands no longer held it up. "Why not?"

"Because you haven't gotten it out of me." Anna tried to play coy with her answer but when John moved his attention back to her neck while one of his hands swept south she moaned.

"Am I getting closer?"

"Yes," Her breath was short as his fingers stroked her from end to end and she moved against his hand.

"How much closer?" John ran a knuckle through her folds and pressed up into her as she cried out.

"Almost there."

"I'll have to work harder then." John kissed back down to her collarbone and then to her breasts as he worked two fingers fully inside her.

Anna moved a hand to hold the back of his neck, keeping John focused on her sensitive breasts while her hips gyrated against his hand. Her other hand dug into his side, her nails sure to leave marks there later but John took pride in those. He moved a third finger into her while his thumb flicked at the top of her clit.

Anna buried her head in John's shoulder, kissing at anything she could reach. John's focus, completely occupied with Anna and her reactions, did not feel her other hand until she stroked him from root to tip. He bucked into her grip and groaned while he increased the pace of his fingers.

It was almost a race now but he had a head start. Anna tried to keep up but when John curled his fingers, pressing down simultaneously at her center, she screamed into his shoulder, biting down there. John took the pain, mixed with pleasure, and hoisted Anna against the wall.

He moved her hand to his shoulder, nudged her head up to kiss her as he thrust inside her. Her hands held tight to him as he broke the kiss, his head going back at the thrill of it all. He pumped into her slowly, driving her into a slow frenzy as her body continued to shiver around him.

"What were you thinking?"

"What?" Anna's eyes were unfocused but John kept his speed slow. "I can't- John please."

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking-" Anna shut her eyes as he withdrew at a snail's pace, "I need- I saw them and thought of us."

"Saw whom?" John paused, resting a hand just above where they were joined while his other held her leg around his waist.

"The family. I saw them and wanted that for us."

John pushed back into Anna, as slowly as he could though he felt his right leg shake a bit with the effort. "Do you want that now Anna?"

"Yes. Please John, yes I want that." Anna kissed all over John's face, "Please can we have that now?"

"Why not?" John traced his finger along the top of Anna's sex and she shivered with it. "Why couldn't we have it now?"

"Because we only just got married and I'm going to America and it's so much to think about right now." Anna held his gaze as John moved a hand to her cheek. "It's what I want with you John."

"Then isn't it a good thing I want that with you now too?" John pressed down and Anna threw her head back, almost sobbing with his words and his motions. "I hope we can have as many children as possible to fill our home with love and joy and little blonde-headed girls."

Anna held his shoulders closer, the red in her cheeks and the speed of her breaths signaling she was almost there. "What else?"

"Maybe a son or two. But all of them the image of their mother. All of them proof of how much I love you and will always love you."

"John." Anna gave in and a moment later John finished.

He held them to the wall for a moment until he was sure Anna's legs could support her and stepped back. She kissed him, her eyes tearing as she held herself close to him. John stroked a hand up her back, "There's no need to cry."

"How can I not when you say the most beautiful things to me?" Anna wiped at her eyes, "I think the bath is ready now Mr. Bates."

"I hazard it is." John took her hand, "This way Mrs. Bates."


	16. Chapter 16

Anna leaned back against John's chest and breathed in time with his movements. She took one of his arms and wrapped it around her shoulders, sighing into his grip. He brought his other arm around her waist and leaned over to kiss her neck.

"Making sure I don't run away?"

"Given that this is the second bath of the day I thought maybe you might be tired of it."

"I'm never tired of an excuse to be with you." John pulled her back as he reclined on the incline of the tub. "Did you enjoy today?"

"It was perfect." Anna shifted so she could look up at his face, "Walking around, holding your hand, going to buy things as husband and wife… it's all I ever wanted."

"I hope not all." John squeezed her side and Anna tried to twist away, sloshing a bit of water over the tub.

"Cheeky." She slapped at his hand, "I was trying to be discreet."

"Why? We're the only ones here." John moved his hand from her waist lower, gliding a finger along the top of her sex. "We're the only ones to enjoy it."

Anna set her head back, already basking in the tingles of her body responding to his touch like she had waited forever for it without knowing exactly what it was. But when John stopped she turned to him. He tried to appear innocent but Anna saw his lips twitch toward a smirk.

"Unless, you don't want to." His eyes crinkled at the edges and Anna placed her hand over his, drawing it down where she wanted it.

"Does this answer your question?"

John took her fingers and guided them, taking her through the motions carefully. "It does but I have another question to ask you."

"What?" Anna thrilled as his fingers traced over hers, directing her motions.

"What will you do without me for so long?"

"How do you mean?"

"How will you take care of yourself?" John took two of her fingers and pushed them slowly inside her.

"I don't know." Anna acted on the slightest of his instructions, feeling how her body reacted.

"Because I'll think of you every night." John whispered near her ear, his other hand taking hers to her breast, slowly massaging. "I did before but now that I know how you feel, how you taste, how you sound… I'll be inconsolable."

"John." Anna closed her eyes as he pressed her third finger inside her, guiding her thumb to the top of her sex and flicking at it.

"Whenever you feel lonely without me just know that I'll be thinking of you. That I wish I could wrap you in my arms at night, hold you close, and whisper to you until you fall asleep. That I want you to know any moment I have to myself you'll be in my thoughts."

Anna whimpered with the boiling of her blood and the zinging of her nerves and her hips tried to answer the maneuvers of her fingers.

"It'll only be me, counting down the days until you come home and I can show the house we'll make into a home. The cottage where we'll raise our children. The kitchen where we'll teach them to bake, the fireplace where we'll read to them, and the garden where they can play with us."

"John," Anna could not breathe.

"And every moment I make one of those memories I'll store it away, write it to you, and then remember that no finer lady in the world could be loved as I love you."

Anna cried out, John's hands still on hers as her body spasmed and shook. She reached around to kiss him, not caring about the water she sent everywhere. In her hurry she pressed him into the back of the tub, thrusting her tongue into his mouth as her hands gripped his neck so he could not move.

His hands went to her back and he returned the kiss, ignoring the water that spilled over the side. Anna moved one hand to his arousal, smiling as he groaned when she took it in her hand. She broke the kiss a moment, aligning them properly, and sank down on him.

Another rush of water went over the side as they both took a moment to relish in the sensation before Anna started moving. John's hands slid over her wet back to her hips and gripped there, in all probability leaving bruises but Anna took them as badges of being well loved. She rotated her hips, twisting and writhing atop him as John picked up speed on his own.

His thrusts upward drove the breath from Anna's body and she struggled to keep her focus as he moved. Her hands tried to hold his shoulders but they slipped with their exertions and the bathwater. Instead she put a hand to the back of his neck, made sure John was looking right at her, and put a hand between them. When her fingers brushed him his eyes rolled back into his head.

"I've thought about you for a long time too and I'll never think of anyone else. Being your wife will only make it more real to me."

"Anna," He groaned and she scratched along his abdomen, skimming across him, "You're not making this easier."

"I was hoping to make it harder," She leaned toward his ear, almost moving off him, "Aren't you ready yet John?"

He broke then and took control. Anna let her head fall back as he kissed her chest, practically mad in his attentions toward her while his hips moved at break-neck speed. The water around them reflected their turbulence as Anna called out John's name again right before he released with her name against her neck.

She held him there, not wanting to move as she relished the feeling of him inside her. But the water grew colder and she shivered. John got out of the tub, wrapped a towel around her, and dried her before taking the same towel to himself. They both looked over the soaked floor and tried to dry it as best they could but it still had a sheen to it as they returned to bed.

Anna tucked herself into John's side and pulled the covers up, sighing as she stretched her muscles. John ran his hand over her cheek, tucking hair behind her ear, and kissed the top of her head. She held her arm over his waist and hugged him.

"It won't be so long. A month'll fly by before you even know time has passed." John murmured to her and Anna shifted to look at him.

"Any time spent away from you is time lost."

"That's the way of things if we want to keep our jobs." John kissed her, "But with you away I'll have time to make our cottage into a home. You'll come back from America and it'll be the two of us living together. No one else, no servants' quarters, and no doors unless we want them closed."

"I don't ever want closed doors between us." Anna laid her head on his shoulder.

"What if we argue?" John rubbed his hand over her side, "It's not always going to be like this."

"No," Anna shook her head, "But we're strong enough not to let small things get in the way."

"Small things?"

"Like if you leave your shoes everywhere or if I don't quite clean like your mother."

"Then it's a good thing I clean better than my mother." John grinned at Anna, "I'd just clean up after you."

"Exactly." Anna lifted herself to look him in the eyes. "No matter what, John Bates, I'll always love you and nothing will ever change that."

"I should hope not since I'm absolutely besotted with you and don't intend to ever find anyone else ever again." John jerked his head toward the pillows. "Lady Mary's sending the car early and after all the trouble they went through for us, not being ready'd be a poor way to thank them."

Anna groaned but got comfortable under the sheets with John. "I just don't want to wake up tomorrow and have to go about life like I don't want you all the time. This has been too wonderful and I think you've thoroughly spoiled me. I'll be a mess when I wake up tomorrow."

"What if I wake you up nicely?" John whispered.

"I don't like waking up. It's my life's ambition to only wake up naturally."

"You'll like how I wake you up and it'll be the most natural thing in the world." John pulled Anna to him.

"Is that a promise Mr. Bates?"

"It is."

"Then I accept." Anna closed her eyes, "Maybe you can help me like mornings better."

"I intend for you to like every morning you wake up with me."

"I already do."


	17. Chapter 17

Anna tossed in her tiny bed, frustrated and anxious. After two nights with John it erased the years of sleeping alone so now nowhere was comfortable without him behind her or next to her or in her vicinity. She threw her head back into the pillow and groaned, grateful they did not have another housemaid in the room with her yet.

"You could always sneak into his room."

Anna sat up, looking at where Aphrodite sat perched on the spare bed, examining a seam in her jacket. "And how do I do that?"

"Easy," Aphrodite pointed at the door, "You stand up, open your door, walk out into the hallway, take the key off the peg, turn it in the lock, go to his room, knock on the door, wait for him to answer, and then join him. This isn't rocket science."

"What?"

"Nothing, after your time."

"That's not what I-" Anna huffed, "Mrs. Hughes would sack me, Mr. Carson might die of shock, and John would never agree to it."

"I think he would. You weren't the only one of your honeymoon sweetheart." Aphrodite set her jacket to the side, "Besides, I can guarantee no one'll catch you. It's my gift to you, as it were."

"That's your gift?" Anna shook her head, "You've got an interesting perspective on appropriate gift-giving."

"Hey," Aphrodite stood, spreading her hands, "You don't like the offer then you can toss and turn for the rest of the night in sexual frustration or you can get up super early and sneak back to bed satisfied. Your choice but don't get all hot and bothered and blame me."

Anna sighed, folding her arms. Finally she shook her head, "Fine."

"Perfect." Aphrodite clapped her hands together, rubbing them a moment, "I love sneaking around. I orchestrated some of the choicest scandals this way."

"I don't want a scandal."

"Call it what you want but these are always the best." Aphrodite went to the door and opened it, checking the hall before motioning to Anna. "Come one then."

They made their way down the hall, Aphrodite touching each door lightly until they came to the hallway separation. Anna took the key off the peg and unlatched the door, wincing at the screech in the hinges but Aphrodite shooed her forward. The goddess pulled the door shut and tapped it once.

"Now everyone will think it's still locked."

They tiptoed down the hall, Aphrodite again touching the doors in succession until they reached John's door. Aphrodite swept her hands like she was presenting the door as a gift. "Enjoy yourselves now. But remember, stroke of midnight."

"What?"

"Just kidding. I'd probably skedaddle on out of there at about four thirty or five, to beat Daisy's rounds." Aphrodite saluted, "Live while you can."

Anna breathed out and watched Aphrodite make herself comfortable at the top of the stairs, "You didn't vanish."

"No, I have to keep an eye on the doors. If anyone hears anything and comes out then I just send them right back in and they forget what happened." Aphrodite held up a hand, "Secondary measure. The first will work."

"Which was?"

"I deadened all the doors so any sound is muffled." Aphrodite cringed, "I'd still try to keep as quiet as possible but if you happen to scream or anything it won't arouse a ton of suspicion… I hope."

"I'm feeling less inclined toward this plan."

"Hey, have I ever let you down before?" Anna shook her head and Aphrodite pointed to John's room, "Then trust I've got this and you go and give your husband a send off… he probably needs it."

Anna pushed John's door open and hurried inside, closing it fast enough to get his attention as she pushed herself against it. Anna looked over at him and her mouth fell open slightly. Only a day and still the sight of her husband, looking extremely focused on his task, sent chills down her spine.

His face almost looked frightened and completely wrecked with his covers tangled around his feet and his trouser bottoms pushed to his knees. Anna leaned over the edge of the bed, staring at where John's capable hands froze wrapped around his very erect arousal. John could not break her gaze as Anna smiled at him.

"You appear to be in a right state Mr. Bates."

"Anna," He choked, "What are you doing here?"

"I was in my room, tossing and turning because I couldn't get to sleep without you," Anna moved to straddle his ankles, pulling her nightdress up to her thighs, "And someone said I should come see you about it."

"What if someone sees you?"

"I had help with that," Anna ran her hands up to where his trouser bottoms where gathered and pulled them off his legs. "And I think you need some help now."

"Anna-"

"Shhh, Mr. Bates," Anna moved up, taking first one hand and then the other in her grip, "We have to keep quiet or we'll disturb everyone."

She kissed his hands before moving them above his head, "Can you keep quiet? Because if not then I should go."

"Don't go," John almost shot out of bed but Anna pushed on his shoulders, forcing him back.

"You're already losing the game Mr. Bates." She slipped first one hand and then the other under his pajama top and forced it over his head. "Remember, we have to keep quiet."

Anna kissed one cheek and then the other, moving her lips gently down his neck. She did not stay on his skin for more than a second, insisting on building him into a frenzy with her gentle touches. She ran her hands over his chest, as if clearing the way for her lips, and scratched lightly at his sides.

John tried to keep his breathing controlled but Anna could feel it through his chest and felt his hips buck toward her, sending tingles down her own body. Anna closed her eyes, trying to keep focused on her intentions, and continued down his chest. She teethed at the skin of his hips, massaging over the scars on his right leg in particular. John's fingers tightened their hold on the metal bed frame under them, trying to bite his lip to keep his grunts and groans to himself.

When Anna finally directed her focus to his almost pulsing penis she grinned at John. "How ever did you get yourself into this state Mr. Bates?"

She did not wait for his response, blowing hot air over it as her hand massaged his right leg and the other slipped to rub at his sack. He gritted his teeth and called out, the sound mumbled but Anna did not mind. She licked up the side, caressing the top the way she might ice cream.

"You didn't answer my question John."

He forced his eyes open as Anna rolled her fingers over him and her other hand circled the root. "What?"

"How did you get yourself like this?"

"I-" Anna ran her hand up and down in a steady rhythm, "I thought-"

"Thought about what John?"

"You. I always think about you." He gasped out, "Please Anna."

"Please what?"

"Please use your mouth."

"My pleasure." She kissed the tip and then sucked him down. He groaned, no longer caring about the noise as Anna continued, using her hands to counter the motions of her mouth. Her nightdress bunched around her legs, catching between them until Anna pulled up briefly to yank it over her head.

John reached for her, running his fingers in her hair as Anna went back to her task. She could feel his body shaking as he tried to keep himself under control and when she tasted something she sucked for more. John was lost now and Anna could finally taste more than just a hint of him. He practically shouted her name as she swallowed and pulled until he had nothing left. When she finished, Anna sat up on his legs and licked her lips.

Her husband looked shattered, in the best of ways, and he pulled her to him, kissing her with as much energy as his spent body could muster. Anna dove into it, finally feeling like she could express what she wanted to do all day but could not in their uniforms. But here, in the dead of night, in a bed they shared with one another, she could be his and he could be hers.

John's hands moved from her arms to her sides, tickling her slightly as he moved them sideways. Anna relaxed in his hold, relying on him until he had her on her back. She held onto his shoulders as he finally broke the kiss to stare at her. He ran his thumb over her cheek and she kissed his palm.

"What?"

"You didn't have to come." He whispered, kissing close to her ear.

"I did have to. More than that I wanted to." Anna hugged him close, "I couldn't sleep without you."

"Then I'll take this miracle for what it is." Anna felt John kissing down her neck as his fingers moved under the waistband of her knickers, sliding them off her legs. "I'm curious, if you couldn't stand a night how will you survive a month away?"

"I'll just have to think of you everyday." She teased him, running a hand through his hair as his hand held her hip.

"Then let me give you something else to remember." John dipped to kiss her stomach, running his tongue into her bellybutton as Anna hissed.

"John."

"Fair is fair." John teased, sliding his hands on her thighs to pull them apart. "I kept quiet now it's your turn."

Anna grabbed the headboard behind her, gripping the metal bars as tightly as she could. John ran his hands from the outside to the inside of her thighs, dragging them along her clit. She craned her neck back into the pillow as John kissed the juncture between her legs.

"I think I can break you Mrs. Bates."

"I don't-" Anna tried to clear her thoughts, "I don't think you can."

"We'll see about that." John ran the flat of his tongue over her and Anna bucked her hips. "I've heard you before Anna and I know you can be loud."

Anna did not respond, too caught up in how he played with her. They had only been married three days and already John knew far too much about what wound her up. He kept driving her the edge with the strokes of his tongue, the play of his fingers, and the pull of his teeth. Anna could feel her arms shaking with the tension of trying to control the thrust of her hips toward his mouth.

He lapped it up. He kissed and sucked her until Anna thought she tasted blood from biting her lip too hard. Occasional whines and squeaks escaped her but she kept herself under control, feeling the sweat slide over her body at the exertion. But when John finally drove her over the edge Anna broke. She cried out his name and almost bent her back double at the lightning strike of pleasure through her.

She came down, breathing hard, as John moved beside her. She wrapped herself toward him, tucking her head on his chest and smiled when she heard his heart beating almost as fast as hers. His fingers tilted her chin up and he kissed her. Anna tasted herself there and licked at his lips a moment.

"I think I won, Mrs. Bates."

"I think we tied." Anna put her head back down, feeling sleep finally pull at her eyes. "Next time I'll win without a doubt."

"So you think there'll be a next time?" John twitched an eyebrow and Anna nodded.

"Of course. How else do I prove I'm better at this game than you?"

John wrapped his arm around her, "I'll gladly concede to your prowess if it means more of this."

"Just as I intend." Anna sighed, "Goodnight John."

"Goodnight Anna."

John opened his eyes and felt the empty space beside him. His pajamas were carefully folded on the chair and a tiny piece of paper, with a drawn heart, lay on top of them. John laid back a moment, smiling at it. He pushed himself up, washing as best he could with the washbasin before dressing and leaving his room.

As he closed the door in the hallway he saw Mr. Carson inspecting the door between the men and women's sides. John walked up to him, "Something wrong Mr. Carson?"

Mr. Carson stared at John, looking him up and down like a superior officer inspecting a cadet about to do parade. "I thought I heard this door open this morning."

"A draft perhaps?" John pointed to the wood, "If it's loose it could creak a bit in shifting temperature."

"Or someone was where they shouldn't be." Mr. Carson raised an eyebrow at John who kept his face blank. "Is there something you'd have to say about that Mr. Bates?"

"No Mr. Carson." John nodded toward the door, "But I could see to the repairs if any need be made on the door."

"I don't think that'll be necessary." He gestured toward the stairs, "If you aren't busy I'll have you see if there's any help needed with Lady Mary and Mr. Matthew's cases."

"I'll go down now."

John made his way to Lady Mary's rooms and saw Anna leaving. They beamed at one another as Anna approached him. She checked the hallway before kissing his cheek.

"What are you doing up?"

"I found a lovely note on my pajamas this morning and thought I should thank you for it." John grinned, "And Mr. Carson said I should help with the cases."

"I think William only left one more and it's small."

"Then allow me to carry it for you."

Anna led John to the case and they walked it out to the car where William strapped them onto the back.

"Is this the last of them Mr. Bates?" William took it from John's hands.

"Yes," Anna answered, sneaking her hand into John's grip. "Are the bags settled?"

"They should be. I have yours in the front with the driver Anna if that's alright?" William stopped himself, "I'm sorry, it's Mrs. Bates now isn't it?"

"I'm still Anna, William." Anna smiled at him, "Lady Mary'll call me Anna to keep from confusing everyone so you can too."

"That's a relief." William shook John's hand, "Though I'm happy for you both and wish you congratulations, belated as it is."

"Thank you William." John shook back and waited for William to move past them back into the house. "He's a good man."

"He wants to join the war." Anna shook her head, "I'm afraid for him."

"He'll be alright."

"Surely they won't make him go when he's all his father has?"

"War's strange that way. There's no telling what they might do."

"I just hope they don't. His father'd be shattered to lose him." Anna ran her hand down John's arm, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"You won't." He grabbed her hand to kiss it before leading her back inside. "I'm already too injured to be of use in the field so I'll be safe and sound here for when you return, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that Mr. Bates." Anna opened the door to the servants' stairs, "Let's find something to eat before I have to leave."

"Our first breakfast at Downton as husband and wife." John made a face, "Do you think anyone'll say anything?"

"They shouldn't have heard anything."

"I think Mr. Carson might've." John grimaced, "He made a comment about it this morning."

"Then we'll just have to keep our hands to ourselves at breakfast." Anna smiled, "As difficult as that will be."

"Very." John peeked into the dining room, "But worth it."

"You're worth it." Anna kissed John's cheek again, "Come on, I've built up quite the appetite this morning."

"As have I Mrs. Bates." John followed her into the dining room, positively glowing and he was sure everyone wanted to say why.


	18. Chapter 18

John smiled as he read the letter and tucked it into his coat. He finished his tea and grabbed his cane to go up the stairs. He stepped to the side as Mrs. Hughes worked her way down, carrying a pile of bedding.

"Can I help Mrs. Hughes?"

"Thank you but no." Mrs. Hughes nodded her head at the bedding, "Sometimes I think I'm just as young as the rest of the girls and then I have to strip a bed again and I remember how old I am."

"You're still radiant Mrs. Hughes."

"Mr. Bates," Mrs. Hughes smiled, "I wouldn't wonder if Anna lights up every time she reads a letter from you if that's what you say to me."

"I do hope she enjoys my letters. I just fear I deluged her with them while she's been away."

"Then you're happy she'll be back by tomorrow then?" Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Bates stepped out of the way of the stairs as William ran down them, heading past them into the kitchen.

"Very happy. I'm excited for her to see the cottage."

"Could I bring some flowers by for it?"

"Pardon?"

"It's just," Mrs. Hughes adjusted her grip on the bedding, "I noticed you have a small garden in the front but nothing'll grow until spring and I thought something bright to cheer the place for Anna would be lovely."

"That's very kind of you Mrs. Hughes. If you like I'm going down to the village at lunch to check on a few things I sent for repair if you'd like to join me we could decorate together."

"I'd love to but I'm so busy preparing all the bedrooms for the guests coming. You do remember his Lordship is having the General tonight."

"I do."

Mrs. Hughes leaned closer to John, "I think he rather has plans for his Lordship given how the war's going."

"Why do you say that Mrs. Hughes?"

"Something I overheard this morning that I probably shouldn't have." She bit her lip, "His Lordship and her Ladyship were having a bit of a row about age this morning, as if it might be a factor in an upcoming decision."

"What kind of decision?"

"I think his Lordship is under the impression the General wants him back in the field." Mrs. Hughes shook her head, "Look at me, no better than a village gossip."

"No it's actually very helpful Mrs. Hughes." John motioned toward the stairs, "I best get on with his Lordship."

"Yes." Mrs. Hughes put a hand to his arm, "Don't fret yourself too much. I'll leave the flowers in my sitting room for you later to take home. It may be fall but they'll be lovely colors I think."

"Any gift you give is lovely Mrs. Hughes." John took the stairs, moving to the side as William rushed back up, carrying a tray as fast as he could.

John took the stairs to the second level and went to his Lordship's dressing room. He could hear him and her Ladyship arguing about something but the details were lost through the door. John set out his Lordship's uniform, brushing at the sleeves a moment before putting the belt within easy reach. The voices raised but were still muffled by the door.

It made John nervous, thinking about his Lordship going to war and leaving the estate. With Mr. Matthew due back by tomorrow to report to his regiment at week's end, it could mean danger for the Earls of Grantham. John felt a twinge in his leg and he massaged it, war was no friend to anyone but even less friendly to aged and broken like he and Lord Grantham.

A moment later the door opened and John stood tall, waiting for Lord Grantham to approach. He hardly noticed John, practically tearing at his dressing gown before unbuttoning his pajama top and throwing it on the bed.

"The nerve." John stepped forward, taking the dressing gown off the bed and dusting at it before hanging it in the wardrobe. "To suggest that I'm too old to serve my country when they need me. Must be an American thing to think the old have to stand by like they're not needed anymore when the nation comes calling for aid."

John helped Lord Grantham into his shirt, buckling the suspenders just as he did in the Boer War, and draped them over Lord Grantham's shoulders before walking around him to secure them before looping the belt through the trousers.

"Don't you have anything to say about it Bates?"

"About age milord?"

"About the war. About anything."

"I'm already an old man milord, and crippled at that, I don't think my country wants me anymore." John checked the suspenders and felt Lord Grantham's bluster leave in a great breath as he walked back around to the rear, pulling the shirt at the back to make sure it was not too tight.

"I'm so sorry, I forgot Bates."

"It's not a problem milord. My wife seems to no even notice and that's fine by me. If she doesn't notice then it's almost as if I'm a young man again."

"How is Anna?"

"Her letters make me think America suits her a little too well. She might want us to go there together sometime."

"Huh," Lord Grantham rolled his eyes, "Mary's letters say the same. I think all the glittery lights and the fast pace are a little too up her alley if you know what I mean."

"I think I do sir." John finished fastening Lord Grantham's cuffs before helping him into the jacket, doing up the buttons. "But Anna seems excited to come back home and she says that Lady Mary and Mr. Matthew look forward to a little time with the family."

"Before Matthew goes to war." Lord Grantham sucked in as Bates clipped the shoulder belt to his waist and brushed at his collar. "War makes parents bury their children Bates and wives bury their husbands."

"Your mother didn't have to bury you milord and neither did your wife." John put down the brush, "I think Mr. Matthew is an intelligent individual who'll act in the interests of country and courage while keeping in mind that he has a family waiting for him. I'd like to think he'll make it through in one piece."

"But how many of our countrymen with wives and families did we leave to the Boers?" Lord Grantham shook his head, "It's a rotten business."

"War always is milord." John stepped to the side, "Anything specific you need done today?"

"I think you should thoroughly check all of my uniforms. I have a feeling the General's visit'll be a little more than a friendly visit on the County Lieutenant Colonel."

"Very good milord." John waited for Lord Grantham to leave and then began sorting out his pajamas and arranging the contents of the wardrobe, pulling out the uniforms and laying them on the bed.

"This isn't the war to end all wars you know." John pulled one of the uniforms from underneath Aphrodite as she crossed her legs on the wall, laying on her back so she had to crane her neck backward to see John. "They like to think that because no one really wants to go to war but at the end of the day people usually succumb to stupidity and hatred. They want to think they'll be the last to see horrible things but human nature doesn't allow for that."

"Couldn't you, as the goddess of love, do something about it?"

"Unfortunately it's self-love and pride that leads to these kinds of things and technically I'd be fighting against myself in that case and I'm not really excellent in that kind of scuffle." Aphrodite gestured to herself, "Though I am scrappy I am also shrimpy and so it's a no-go."

"You talk about time like it's already happened for you. Like you already know the future." John counted the uniforms and frowned.

"There are a few more upstairs in the attics." Aphrodite pointed at the ceiling, "Stored away with all his Boer War memorabilia."

"Thank you." John grabbed his cane and opened the door. He heard Aphrodite roll off the bed and rush to join him as he went to eh servants' stairs. "You didn't answer my question."

"I thought you just made a statement because I didn't get the feeling of the interrogative there. If you'd said it in Chinese there'd be a necessary question particle but you don't so I expected a little uplift to your voice… there wasn't any."

John closed his eyes, "Has time already happened for you?"

"It's difficult to answer." Aphrodite walked on the heels of her thick soled boots, "Technically I'm an immortal, which already makes time difficult for me, but I also don't live time linearly like you do."

"How so?"

"I go with the love my friend." Aphrodite did a little twirl, "I need new boots."

"You distract yourself a lot when you speak." John started up the servants' staircase, "But if you don't live time linearly then how do you live?"

"I go where the pull of love is the strongest. I'm subjected to the whims of fancy and passion so where it goes I go and that means I don't live life chronologically." Aphrodite sighed, "It makes for an interesting experience."

"But that's how you can say that there'll be another war or that something called a rocket will one day exist?"

"Yeah, seen them." Aphrodite coughed and then waved her hand in front of her as they entered the attic, "Dusty isn't it."

"You're welcome to clean it if you think you can be of help."

"I'm not the cleaning type. That's more Hestia's line of expertise and we haven't spoken in decades."

"Decades for you or decades for me?" John found the box he needed and pushed the top up with a whine of the hinges.

"Decades for me. But in the end I guess it's all relative and not really that important." Aphrodite hopped on top of another box, "But this war'll affect you more than you'd like to admit."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Don't lie to me John Bates. I see right through you." Aphrodite poked at his arm. "You're afraid Lord Grantham'll get called up and out of here and you'll follow because you're a loyal guy and he can't function without you."

"Lord Grantham is perfectly able to do a great many things without me."

"But will he?" John paused, his hands on one of the uniforms. "He's a good man. He gives a fair shake when he doesn't have to and tends toward the blissfully ignorant in light of things that could possibly cause pain elsewhere. But he's not always the brightest bulb in the box and when one is not the sharpest tool in the shed that requires someone else to keep them from hurting themselves."

"He'll find someone."

"Not if that someone is you, John."

John removed the uniforms and closed the lid, "If he needs me then I serve at his pleasure."

"And what about Anna's pleasure?"

"If you hadn't noticed she's in America because she knows that our jobs are important. What we do for this family matters and we serve them they best we can."

"Right but even she might take a bit of umbrage if you, her lovely Celtic warrior, had to go to a war front."

"There are younger men than me so I wouldn't worry over it." John began down the stairs.

"Face facts John the General's coming today to tell Lord Grantham his orders and you'll be following him wherever he goes." Aphrodite pushed her way down to get in front so she could look John in the face. "It's what you do. You fall on your sword because you believe everyone is better than you."

"There's no sword here." John moved down the stairs, still working his way back toward the dressing room.

"You're right. It'll be mustard gas and trenches and fever and shell shock and land mines. More people will die in the Battle of the Somme than the entire American Civil War."

"What's the Somme?"

"It's a valley in France about to be covered in trenches where… never mind." Aphrodite waved her hands like she could dispel thought with the motion, "The point is, John, you need to decide what you're going to do about it."

"I have this job because Lord Grantham looked past a number of my sins and accepted me back. I can't do him the disservice of abandoning him when he might need me most."

"And what about your wife?"

"She'd understand and she'd agree with me."

"Will she agree with you when you get delivered back to her in a box, if they can even find enough of you to bring back at all?"

John stopped, his hand on the knob to go back to the hallway. He faced Aphrodite, "If there's something you think I ought to know you should probably say it now."

"All I know is Ares can be an pretty unpredictable son of a bitch. If he knows you're out on the field, and he knows I've been working with you, he'll do all he can to destroy you just to get back at me."

"Then this is a game to you?" John pointed a finger at Aphrodite, "You play people into love for your own gains?"

"I help people find the missing part of their lives. The fact that my ex-boyfriend is a psycho just happens to be a really unfortunate part of the events of now."

"I won't just leave everything for the chance that something might happen. Life shouldn't be lived in fear."

"But it should be lived, John." Aphrodite exhaled all the air from her lungs, like her argument had run the gambit. "I don't know your future. I know how events in a general sense work themselves out but I'll be honest, all I can do is fear for you."

"Then put it to good use and do something to stop the war."

"I already told you, I can't."

"That's a lie." John put a hand on Aphrodite's shoulder. "You're forgetting two very important things."

"What?"

"First, that nothing of any meaning happens all at once. You won't solve the problem today or tomorrow or even next year but you can have a hand in solving it. Second, that the world turns on small actions, not large ones. Enough small actions and the world changes." John stepped back, "Believe in that the way you made me believe in you."

"You believe in me?"

"You brought me to Anna. What more could I ask for than that?" John took the uniforms to the dressing room, leaving Aphrodite alone on the balcony.


	19. Chapter 19

Anna hugged John about the neck as tightly as her diminutive frame managed. He lifted her off the ground as much as he could and set her back down quickly, conscious of the others moving around them in the hall. She kissed him, pulling away with a smile on her face.

"You've no idea how I missed you."

"I think I do." John took one of her hands and kissed it, "But I think Lady Mary needs you right now."

"I need you right now." Anna almost whined and grinned when she felt John's reaction. "And I think you need me."

"What we need are our jobs and I don't want you to get sacked." John coughed as he tried to maintain decorum, "Don't worry, it's only a few hours and then I'll take you to our beautiful cottage."

"Our home."

"Our home." John agreed, the smile nearly splitting his face.

Anna kissed his cheek again before hurrying up the stairs, leaving John standing with her hat and coat. She made her way to Lady Mary's room and unlatched the cases, carefully letting the lids fall open. As she dug around in them she heard someone digging in a case behind her.

"These are great shoes. Do you think she'd let me borrow them?"

Anna scowled at Aphrodite, "Put those down. I need to take them for polishing and I don't want to make two trips."

"Be worth it to see John right?"

"I'll see him later when we get home." Anna pulled the dresses loose, draping them over her arm. "That's how it works when you have a job."

"Is that how it works?" Aphrodite stepped back from a case when Anna dug down in it, ignoring Aphrodite's tone and tugging at a piece of fabric to pull another dress loose. "Mary'll be inconsolable when Matthew goes to war."

"She knows what she got herself into." Anna counted the dresses and frowned, "I'm missing one."

"Far case, for the laundry."

"Right," Anna snapped her fingers, popping the last latch and pulling it out, "We do our duty and Lady Mary knows Mr. Matthew is doing his."

"You're wrong."

"What?"

"About Mary, she doesn't know what she got herself into. No one does. That's the thing about war. It's messy and unpredictable and hurtful."

"Is that why people so often compare it to love?" Anna teased, piling the shoes into her arms with the dresses and leaving the room.

"Yes but that's not the point."

"Then what is?" Anna walked sideways, keeping the stairs in view as she made her way down them.

"What if John had to go to war? Would you be as blasé about it then?"

"Of course not but John's not going."

"If he had to, would you?"

Anna stopped on the landing, "Is there something you're just dying to tell me that you think I ought to know right now?"

"Yes."

"Then by all means don't hurt yourself trying to keep it a secret." Anna shook her head, narrowly dodging Mr. Mosely on his way back up and looking frazzled as he balanced two cases in his arms.

"It's not my secret to tell."

"Then why mention it in the first place?"

"Because I feel you need to know and I'd hate for someone else to tell you first out of spite."

"Like whom?" Anna asked and stopped herself just short of running into Ms. O'Brien. "Ms. O'Brien, you scared me."

"Watch where you're going Mrs. Bates. You won't want to slip up now."

"I think I know how to do my job, Ms. O'Brien."

"As well as your husband does I expect."

"I'd like to think so." Anna rolled her shoulders back, turning to take the shoes to the boot room. "We've both got experience at it."

"And it's his experience that'll have you waving him off with a handkerchief at the train station as they go to war."

Anna stopped and pivoted to look at O'Brien, "Excuse me?"

"Haven't you heard? They're sending Lord Grantham with a delegation to France, hoping cooler heads might prevail there and they can stop the war before Christmas."

"What's that got to do with Mr. Bates?"

"His Lordship can't very well take William and since Thomas already serves in the army his Lordship needs someone he can trust." O'Brien almost sneered, "I hope you enjoyed being married because you might be a widow longer than you were a wife, with the way this war is going."

"You're a spiteful creature if you wish any harm to my husband."

"Not me, Mrs. Bates, the enemy. It's them that want to harm our soldiers. I'm just the one seeing the realities of it all."

Before Anna could respond O'Brien went up the stairs. Anna felt her eyes tearing and she tried to hold back as she pushed into the boot room. She set all the shoes down and tried to pull at the dresses but they slipped from her grip.

Anna bent to pick them up but just collapsed onto her knees, wiping at her eyes as the tears came without stop. Someone put a handkerchief to her eyes, dabbing at them and Anna saw Aphrodite through the haze. She sniffed and Aphrodite put the handkerchief to her nose and nodded as Anna blew.

"I told you. Or I tried to."

"Why didn't he tell me?"

"He hasn't had the chance, to be fair." Aphrodite tucked the handkerchief into her hand a moment later it was gone. "But he was going to tonight."

"Will he have to go?"

"He might but I can't say for certain." Aphrodite helped her pick up the dresses, "The General has some plans and Lord Grantham's a servant of the empire and John's his servant and so the wheel turns."

"I was such a fool." Anna took the dresses, "There I was, pitying Lady Mary because she was about to say goodbye to her husband, and I was feeling safe that mine would be waiting at home and now that's not true."

"I do hope you don't think you're being punished for thinking you dodged the bullet." Aphrodite rubbed at Anna's arm, "This is the way things work sometimes. The Fates are not known for being overly kind."

"No, I guess they're not."

John stopped in front of the door to their cottage. "Anna, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You haven't said a word since you got back this morning and you haven't looked me in the eye all day."

"I'm fine."

"Not two minutes ago I had to steer you clear of a dip in the road because you weren't focused." John put a hand to her face, "What is it?"

"When were you going to tell me that you'd be leaving?"

John's chest fell, "Inside. I was going to make you some tea and tell you in our sitting room."

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Because you were busy and this is a conversation, not something I could say fairly in a moment. I didn't want to say anything in front of anyone else because it's none of their business."

"Ms. O'Brien told me, John. I had to hear it from her."

John took a breath, "Anna, I was going to tell you."

"It should've been the first thing out of your mouth, that you're going to war."

"Anna I'm just accompanying Lord Grantham and the General to possible peace talks. It's nothing to worry about it."

"But it's not just that John. It'll never be just that when everything is shrouded in death."

"Please come inside Anna and I'll explain."

Anna nodded and followed John into the cottage. He held her hand as he guided her through the door and shut it behind her. He moved away just enough to strike a match and light a candle, covering the top with the bowl to give the room a glow.

John faced Anna but she already moved. Her coat and hat were still on as she walked through their sitting room. Her fingers traced over the back of the settee and the chairs before gently touching the mantle where John organized their books. She did not make a sound as she walked to the kitchen, running a hand over the table and fingering the stove.

She continued her exploration of the house, walking up the flight of stairs to their bedroom and John followed, bringing the light with him. Anna paced in the washroom, examining the size of the tub. John stepped out of her way when she entered their bedroom and took a deep breath. The decorative curtains he hung above their bed swayed as evidence of her presence and when she finally looked at him John saw the shine in her eyes.

He quickly set the lamp down on the dresser and came to her side. "Anna, what's wrong?"

"This is beautiful." Anna waved aimlessly at the room, "You did all this for me?"

"Of course. I wanted to make this our home." John put his hands on her cheeks, "I promise I was going to tell you when I had you here, in our cottage, where only we matter."

"But what if it's not our cottage anymore?"

"What do you mean?"

"John you might not come back."

"Anna," John pulled her close to him, running his hands over her back as she started crying into his shoulder. "We're not going to be in any danger. We're not even in the fighting."

"John this is war. It's unpredictable and messy and there aren't any guarantees." Anna pulled back, taking her hat off her head to see him better. "I don't want to live in this home you made for us if it's just going to be me."

"I promise you, Anna May Smith Bates, that nothing'll stop me coming back to you." John took her hands and forced her to look at him. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then trust that I'm coming home to you no matter what."

Anna could only nod and John did the only thing he knew how to do to help his wife. He kissed her.

She responded immediately. Perhaps it was their long time apart or perhaps it was the threat of never seeing one another again but a fuse was lit and nothing would stop it now. Nothing short of either of them and they had no interest in doing so.

John felt Anna pushing his coat off and he fumbled to get the sleeves off his arms as she worked her own coat to the floor. He practically tripped over his shoes as she pushed him toward the bed, surprising him with her strength. When his legs hit the back of it he fell to sit, completely at her mercy as Anna pulled his jacket open, flicked all the buttons from the holes on his waistcoat, and popped his collar.

As each piece of clothing hit the floor it was all John could do to keep up with Anna's mouth. Her tongue pressed in as her nails raked down his chest and John groaned with the sensations he kept as his favorite memories for the last month. Anna had his cuff links tinkling on the floor, his tie undone, and his torso bare within moments and John had barely moved his hands from her face.

He tried to focus enough to find the buttons on her dress but her quick hands beat him there, working each loose until she stepped out of the material. It fell to the floor with her corset and John could feel the heat of her skin through her chemise as Anna surged forward. He caught her, trying to get a better hold, as she yanked his belt loose and undid his trousers. She pushed them to the floor, working his shoes and then hers off while John just tried to breathe again.

In the haze of his thoughts he remembered how slow they'd been on their wedding day. The gentle touches she gave him and he returned. Now they were like fire and lightning with Anna tugging her chemise over her head to leave her standing in all her naked glory in front of him. Even in the low light from the lamp she glowed radiant and perfect. So much so John felt his mouth dry at the appearance of her.

Anna did not seem to mind. She pressed forward again, practically attacking his mouth and finally John found clarity. He put his hands to her shoulders and pulled back enough to look in her eyes. She tried to push forward again but John shook his head.

"Not like this Anna." She hung her head and he saw her lips tremble, "Not like this."

"I can't-" She lifted the heel of her hand to her eye, rubbing at it as the tears started again, "I don't know how else to do it. Not when all I feel is- I can't- I don't know how else to convince myself you'll be here."

"Like this." John stood with her, kissing over her forehead as gently as he could. "We move slowly and we love one another like we always have."

John ran a hand over her back, easing the shaking of her whole body. "I'm here Anna and I'm not leaving you yet."

He kept talking, working his hands over her body in a gentle massage until she calmed. Anna still choked, as if trying to hold back her sobs, but John soothed her. "If you need to cry then do so."

"If I start I'll never stop."

"Then we'll flood the earth together." John kissed one eye and then the other, "You don't have to hide from me. For better or worse, remember? If you cry, I cry with you and we find joy through our sorrows together."

Anna wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head there, finally letting the floodgates of her emotions open. John kissed her head, continuing to stroke his fingers down her back. "It's alright."

After a few moments Anna pulled back, her head hanging so her focus was on his chest and the small circles she made there with her hand at his heart, "Make me forget John. Help me forget. Please."

"What?"

"I only want to remember you and me. I only want to think of this home, of our happiness, and of us. Make me forget everything else." She looked at him, "Please love me John."

"However, whenever, wherever."

John kissed her then and it was not like before. Before had been all fear and passion and rage but now it was calm, it was soothing, it was enough. Enough to forget. Enough to be loved. And enough to love.

John lowered Anna to their bed. The bed he found in a second-hand shop in Ripon and thought would be perfect in their home. The sheets were not as comfortable as the ones they had on their wedding night but they were soft. Not as soft as Anna's skin as John's fingers rasped over her, memorizing her again, but soft enough to cradle them. The pillows were not as decorative but they kept Anna's hair splayed like a halo in the low light. The mattress was not as firm but it was big enough for the two of them.

Nothing was new and yet everything was. It was all enough.

He caressed every inch of her until her tears of sorrow dissolved into cries of joy. He drew breathy sighs in time with guttural moans as he kissed any part of her within his reach. She writhed beneath him when his fingers and mouth worked her to the peak and over it again.

Here, in the house he decorated and designed for her, he loved her as if for the first time again. Here, on the eve of his leaving instead of hers, he drove her to frenzy with a pace slow and steady. He moved above her, within her, and with her. Here, in the home they would build together, John loved Anna.

He loved her until they both forgot.


	20. Chapter 20

Anna traced the line of John's face without touching him, only just noting the tingle of the tiny hairs on his skin brushing her fingers.

He would leave today. With less than a month of them in their little house he was leaving. Mr. Matthew shipped to the front in a week's time and Lord Grantham's delegation left on the same boat but they had briefings to attend in London. This was the last morning Anna would have with John for a long time and she wanted it to be as wonderful as she could manage.

She leaned over to kiss John's forehead, pushing gently at his shoulder so he moved to his back in bed. He barely stirred and Anna crawled over to his side, running her lips in a delicate line from his forehead to his chin. She placed her hands on his shoulders as she carefully placed her legs on either side of his chest and kissed down his neck.

He shifted a moment and Anna paused, afraid she woke him. But John's eyes remained closed. She continued down his body, memorizing the feel of his arms and chest with her hands as if it were possible to use tactile sensations to burn an imprint on the mind. She did not want to forget anything about this man.

His skin was smooth on his arms, covered all day with his sleeves. She loved his sleeves. Loved the care he took with his appearance, simple though the uniform may seem, and how much it meant to him to wear it at all. Any tears he immediately repaired with the same loving devotion he showed any of Lord Grantham's clothes. He even mended her dresses, though she told him she would do it later. He just smiled and fixed them while he urged her to read aloud in the quiet of their little home.

His chest hair was smooth as she glided down, unlike the bristles on his face when he kissed her at night. She loved holding his cheeks in her hands, the tickle of the beard he could never grow but attempted of its own accord to emerge anyway every day, reminding her that while he appeared prim and proper in public he was not always so buttoned up at home. The hair on his head was different, silky and smooth when she ran her hands through it looking for a hold as he brought her to the edge. But even that was separate from the hair on his arms that skimmed over her when he held her tight after he had his way with her… or she with him. Sometimes it was hard to tell who started it but both finished sated and glowing.

She brushed his sternum with her nose, inhaling the smell of him after a night in their bed. Different from the aftershave he used that she sniffed when they found a moment in a dark corner for him to kiss her almost senseless. And different from the cologne she inhaled when they sat with everyone else at the table for tea or lunch or to complete simple mending. This smell was her on him and him on her. This was their smell. The smell that filled her nose when she entered their home. The smell that would change when he left today.

When her hips slid lower she felt him stir. His eyes were still closed, his breathing making the rise and fall of his chest as constant as the clock in their sitting room- the room he made perfect just for her- but something else was awake. Then again, even in the privacy of her own thoughts Anna felt the heat rise to her cheeks as she finally acknowledged the truth to herself, this part of him was always awake for her.

Smiling she remembered more than one occasion, sitting next to him at the table, he had to wait a moment to follow everyone from the room. He told others it was so he could walk unimpeded and not hold anyone up with his cane but Anna usually had her hand on his thigh and she knew the truth. She felt it when they kissed in corners, when they spoke of their futures, and especially when they returned to their home. The home they shared with no one else. The home he made for her.

The home he was leaving now.

His eyes finally opened when her fingers played over him. He blinked, still trying to comprehend the response of his own body as his dream seemed to continue into reality. In the light just peaking over their sill, almost echoing the desire of so many to stay in bed, Anna watched his eyes clear just as she took him in her mouth.

Even in his half-asleep state his hips responded immediately. His arms, a little slower, tried to pull at her shoulders but Anna just took his hands and moved them above his head. When John tried to speak she put a finger on his mouth and shook her head, making sure he watched her as she did.

Without words she returned to her occupation, keeping her hand firm but gentle at his base while she built him slowly to his peak. He clenched his fists in the sheets, his jaw tight, his neck arching back into the pillows as Anna continued. His body moved but his eyes did not, keeping steadily on her.

Anna pulled, licked, and sucked until she just tasted him. He groaned and tried to mime his intentions but Anna shook her head again. Instead she moved up just enough to align herself with him and sink down.

Again John reached for her and again Anna put his arms back above his head. She kissed first one cheek and then the other as she moved slowly, only rising and settling enough to keep them engaged, making sure her pace was what drove them. When he tried to speed them up she stopped, waiting until he released the reins to her capable hands, and began again as if from scratch.

She felt full. She usually did. But today it was different.

Today it was not the physical fullness or the rising pleasure for both of them or the knowledge that only she would know him this way for the rest of his life and he would only know her. It was deeper than that. Deeper in the way that they shared this, they sacrificed for this, and now something might take it from them. Deeper to the point where she recognized the harsh reality that this might be the last time for them to have this. She would not waste this moment.

Anna took her own hands down her body, mimicking the motions John usually took such pride in applying to her. The motions she used when they were separated last time. The motions she would have to use again. The motions that were never enough. Without him nothing would be enough.

At this John's eyes grew wide and his speed increased. This time Anna did not stop him. She felt her lungs constricting, her gasps for air short and quick when his hands went to her hips, and she struggled to stay focused. His chest shined with their exertions and caved in quickly as he gulped for breath.

His eyes broke her concentration and her hand slipped, touching both of them at the same time. At that moment she peaked and sobbed his name. He took only her shudder to call hers and finish for himself.

Anna fell forward onto his chest, matching his breathing with hers, and held there as they both shook. This was safety. His arms, his chest, his whole frame as it held her close like he wanted to take her into his own form and make them one in more than just name or the eyes of the law. This was her home. He was her home.

When she finally felt she could form sentences Anna sat up. John brought a hand to stroke her hair from her face and leaned forward to place a kiss on her mouth. There was no hurry to it. No rush. Just a moment for a simple gesture that almost had Anna crying with how lovely and simple and final it felt.

John opened his mouth to speak as he pulled away, his voice quiet. "Why wouldn't you let me touch you?"

"Because I wanted to do this for you."

"You already do so much for me Anna."

"I know." She looked down at her hands, on his chest where she sensed the tiny vibrations from the beat of his heart in time with her own. It comforted her. Steadied her. And it might not be hers anymore.

"Then why?"

"I wanted to remember us as we are when nothing else but us matters. Who we are when we're as close as we can possibly be. When nothing and no one stands between us."

"Anna," John sat up, holding her face in his hands, "You will always be all that ever matters to me. Nothing'll change that, ever."

"I know." Anna tried to smile but her mouth would not stretch and her eyes were too occupied trying not to drain the tears gathering there. "But I needed to remind myself before you go."

"I'll be back."

"Don't make promises you might not be able to keep." Anna pulled him close and hugged him to her, "I can't bear it if you get my hopes up now."

"I won't." She felt John's hand running over her back, "But I won't have you mourning me like a dead man."

"This was supposed to be our first Christmas together."

"Then I'll have to make sure we have peace by then." John pulled Anna back enough to see her face and wipe away the tears there. "I won't go."

"You have to." Anna wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Who'll protect his Lordship if you don't?"

"Someone else."

"No one like you." Anna kissed John's cheek, "You have to go and I'm being silly for thinking the worst."

"No, you're being braver than I am." John smiled, "If it were you going I'd kidnap you and leave it all behind so we'd be together."

"Then I'll have to wait for you to come back and kidnap me then." Anna maneuvered off her husband, "Now we best get ready or you'll miss the train and then we'll both be in trouble."

"There's no one I'd rather be in trouble with."

Anna finally smiled at him, "Hurry up Mr. Bates or everyone'll know why we're late."

John kissed his wife for the last time and pulled the door of the first class carriage open for Lord Grantham. The whistle blew as Lord Grantham finished kissing Lady Cora, waved to his daughters, and climbed into the carriage. John followed suit, pulling the door shut and putting his hand to the glass as Anna held her hand up as well. He could see she was trying to keep her tears to herself and he swallowed, remembering to keep a tight grip on his emotions. They had to be strong now or they would break and never be whole again.

He survived one war without Anna. This time, with her waiting for him it would take Hell itself to keep him from her. That he swore to himself, even if she would not let him swear it to her. He would make it back to Anna.

The train started moving and John shook himself back to his duty.

"Is there anything you need milord?" John stepped toward the door and Lord Grantham shook his head.

"I think I'll be fine for awhile Bates. Just be here thirty minutes before we arrive in London. I want to run through our itinerary with you one last time just to be sure we've got it sorted."

"Very good milord."

John pulled the door shut and walked toward third class. He showed the conductor his ticket and found his seat. He faced south, watching the fields of Downton rush as if in a race to vanish behind them.

"Interesting reversal of fortune yeah?"

John looked up as Aphrodite sat opposite him. "How'd you mean?"

"Us, on a train, heading toward the unknown. It's like the first time we met."

"Last time you seemed to know what lay ahead for me."

"Last time I did." Aphrodite threaded her fingers together in her lap as she crossed her legs, "This time I don't."

"Not according to your plan?"

"I don't have a plan. I'm not God."

"I thought you're a goddess."

"Little 'g' remember?" Aphrodite shrugged a shoulder, "I only steer people toward lasting love these days. I don't have a grand plan for the world and if I did this wouldn't be it."

"What does the world in Aphrodite's image look like?"

"You and Anna working side-by-side, maybe at a hotel. Shagging the night away, or the day if you're feeling up to it. That whole 'however, whenever, wherever' thing has another meaning for me because I want you surrounded by children until you breathe your last. That only happens with a lot of sex involved or a statistical improbability."

"That's a very vivid future."

"I have a big imagination."

John sighed, "It'll happen."

"That's an awful lot of confidence for a man heading off to a war zone."

"Someone has to have it." John pointed a finger at Aphrodite, "What about you? What progress have you made?"

"Not much. I think I could get something beautiful for Christmas but other than that it's a little more hearts and minds than I'm used to. I'm more small places, small spaces if you get my drift."

"I don't."

"Well, for instance, Christmas has all this good cheer and those well wishes that contribute a bit of extra love to the world. I plan to mine that for an event that'll make Christmas 1914 one that history never forgets."

"Really?"

"You try forgetting when everyone on either side of No-Man's Land decides to set down their guns for two days to play football and sing carols together." Aphrodite took a deep breath, "It'll be huge."

"And that won't change minds."

"It will. Just not the right ones but I'm trying the holistic view and altering the perceptions of even a few people in a war as dark as this one is something."

"I'd take that kind of miracle."

"Thanks."

They sat together in silence for a time until Aphrodite broke it. "I can't promise you'll get home John."

"I wasn't looking for you to promise that."

"War isn't my area of dominance and this war in particular has me fighting someone a lot like me in abilities but less like me in attitude. It's not a game I usually play and when I do I don't play well."

"I remember reading about the fall of Troy."

"Like I said, not really my area of expertise."

"I respect the struggle you have and whatever you can do is enough." John reached out a hand and took hers. "It's enough that I have Anna. She'll be my angel, my guiding star, and that'll get me through."

"What happens if you become an angel yourself?"

"Then I'll wait until she can be an angel with me." John sat back, "They say that time was God's gift to man. I've heard it said that time isn't a thing in Heaven so if I get to go there then I'll just wait for her. It won't feel like any time at all."

"People like you make me realize I chose the right couple." Aphrodite put her hands on the armrests and stood. "Speaking of which, I need to try and save other people like yourself."

"I wish you luck."

"Thank you John." Aphrodite paused, "I do promise you that whatever happens, I'll make sure Anna is taken care of. You have my word on that."

"Then I have no more worries."

John smiled to himself as Aphrodite sparked a moment before vanishing. He turned back to the window and thought about the last time he was on a train, uncertain about the future. This, despite the trepidation sitting on his chest, was a far better situation than the last time.

This time he had Anna.


	21. Chapter 21

Anna pulled the door shut and took a few deep breaths. Mrs. Hughes approached but Anna shook her head.

"She's no better today Mrs. Hughes."

"Not even a little hungry?" Anna shrugged and Mrs. Hughes looked at the door, her mouth pulled with worry. "She hasn't eaten since yesterday. It can't be good for her. Especially not in her condition."

"It's not but she doesn't have an appetite." Anna lifted her hand, but dropped it when she realized she had nothing beneficial to say. "I guess it's how she's handling the news."

"Did she write him?"

Anna nodded, "Before she got the telegram she got his letter. He was so excited about the baby. I think it only makes it harder."

Mrs. Hughes nodded, "And with Daisy in a right state about William."

"How's she?"

"She's visiting with Mr. Mason until the service this weekend but what more can be done? They don't even have bodies to bury."

Anna nodded, grimacing as she dry washed her hands before putting one to her back. Mrs. Hughes bent her head, stepping toward her.

"Are you alright Anna?"

"Just some back pain."

"Anything else? You haven't seemed yourself lately either." Mrs. Hughes pointed to Lady Mary's room, "You haven't eaten much more than her these last few weeks."

Anna bit her lip, "Don't tell Mrs. Patmore but it's because the food tastes funny."

Mrs. Hughes raised an eyebrow, "If she heard you even implied something like that she'd bring her wooden spoon down on you so fast you wouldn't have time to run."

"I know. And there's been nothing different about it even with rationing but something's funny. It all just tastes odd. Like something's off about the flavors. More metallic or sour than usual." Anna shook her head, "Maybe it's just my nerves."

Mrs. Hughes sucked in her cheeks, "Maybe."

Anna stopped, "What is it Mrs. Hughes?"

"It's none of my business Anna but," Mrs. Hughes stepped forward, keeping her voice low, "When was the last time you bled?"

Anna thought a moment, "Right after I got back from America with Lady Mary and Mr. Matthew I did."

"But not since?"

Anna numbered the days in her head before her jaw seemed to loosen on its hinges, "Not that I recall no. I thought it was my nerves about Mr. Bates."

"I think you need to see Dr. Clarkson my dear." Mrs. Hughes put a hand on Anna's shoulder. "If you take this afternoon I can keep my ear out for Lady Mary and see to her until you get back."

"Thank you Mrs. Hughes."

As Mrs. Hughes walked down the hallway in the opposite direction Anna considered going back into Lady Mary's room but changed her mind and headed for the stairs. She hurried down, almost running into Mr. Carson, and grabbed her coat and hat. They were barely on by the time she was out the door.

February bit at her exposed skin and Anna grabbed her coat to do up the buttons in a rush. She found her gloves in the pockets and jogged from the servant's entrance to the road toward the village. She dodged out of the way of Mr. Mosely and did not even paused when he called out good morning, merely throwing a wave in his direction.

She reached the gate, breathing a little hard, and put a hand to her chest as the cold air burned her throat.

"They say running's good for you but I never bought into that." Aphrodite waved from the open gate, "Hi."

"I wondered when you'd come 'round again."

"I was going to drop by on Valentine's Day when that note from your secret admirer came but I thought I should give you some privacy." Aphrodite kept pace with Anna, "He got one too you know. Unsigned. It came from Downton but who's to say who from."

"Does it matter?"

"It matters if you've both got secret admirers."

"It's no less than we deserve." Anna grinned to herself and saw Aphrodite laughing. "What?"

"You two. You're so saccharine it makes me smile."

"I hope we can be saccharine for a very long time."

"That makes two of us. Three if you count John." Aphrodite paused, sticking out her cheek as she put her tongue in the side of her mouth, "And four if you count the bun in your oven."

Anna stopped, "What?"

"Is that not an expression you use?" Aphrodite looked like she needed to find something quickly but only had what was around her, "How's about this. Stork calls came and you got one."

"How could you know that?"

"I admit, childbirth, fertility, and marriage are Hera's thing but I do know a little something about the love one bears for their child and the children that come as the product of love…" Aphrodite winced, "I know a lot more about the children who are the product of lust, passion, erotic encounters, and drunken orgies but I can say I've been around the products of True Love. There was this one girl-"

"Stop," Anna held up her hand, "I'm not saying anything to anyone until I see Dr. Clarkson about this."

"Be my guest," Aphrodite stepped to the side, waving Anna on, "I'll just go with you."

"Why?"

"Because no one should have to sit through that kind of exam alone. Since your mother's not here and your surrogate mother is taking care of a very pitiful Lady Mary I can fill in."

"Lady Mary is not pitiful."

"In the older definition 'pitiful' references those in need of or deserving our pity." Aphrodite stopped, "Someone who loses a love like Mary did the way she did is deserving of the deepest reserves of anyone's pity. Mine included."

"You feel pity for her?"

"Of course I do. I got them together. And pity, especially in this case, is a product of compassion, which is a deep form of love." Aphrodite huffed, "Honestly I feel like none of you read the Bible."

"You've read the Bible."

"There's not a lot to do in between missions and it is a best seller. Translated into more languages than even _Harry Potter._ And has more copies sold than _Fifty Shades of Grey_."

"What are those?"

"One is a fantastic set of books that inspired millions of children to read and overcome personal obstacles and the other is a disgusting representation of abusive lust that I neither approve nor do I condone."

"So why mention them?"

"Because, believe it or not, they are about as popular as this dark horse of a television show that took the world by storm with it's depiction of turn-of-the-century England and the changing class system."

"Turn of which century?" Anna pulled just short of the door to the hospital, "And what's a television?"

"This century and don't worry, you probably won't live to see a television. Though when they televised the coronation of Liz 2 that was something." Aphrodite pulled the door open, "After you."

Anna walked in, dodging the officers and nurses taking up all the space in the hallway. She saw Lady Sybil and smiled at her as she approached.

"Anna, what are you doing here?"

"I need to see Dr. Clarkson milady."

"Is it Mary?"

"No," Anna waved a hand, "She's fine. Well, she's not fine, obviously, but she's not ill of body. Just spirit."

"I can't even imagine. Mrs. Crawley was crying this morning when one of our officers passed away. I think it's still too soon for her but she insisted."

"Lady Mary's the same. She's just so lost in grief." Anna shivered, "I wish I knew what to do to help her.

"So do I." Lady Sybil looked back over the ward, "I guess we care for those before us as best we can and hope they find the strength to bear it."

"I think so too."

"I'm sorry, that's so thoughtless of me." Lady Sybil put a hand on Anna's shoulder, "How is Bates?"

"He's well. His last letter said the discussion hasn't gone anywhere but at least it's not going backward so there's that I suppose."

"Anything not backward is forward I think." Lady Sybil took a breath, "Were you here to see Dr. Clarkson yourself then?"

"I just need a small checkup, nothing major."

"I could probably do it. He's in surgery and won't be out for a bit and I have a minute while the ward's quiet if you don't want to wait."

"I-" Anna bit her lip, "I don't know if it's in your expertise."

"I can do a physical and general body check if that's what worries you."

"It's not that milady. I believe you're an excellent nurse and fully qualified." Anna leaned forward, "I need to know if I'm pregnant."

"Oh," Lady Sybil's eyes widened, "I- I don't know if I've the training for that but I think Mrs. Crawley does. I can see if I can find her."

"I don't want to bother her." Anna went to saw but Lady Sybil escorted her to a chair.

"I think it'll do her good. She's been surrounded by death so often that the idea of new life might bring some joy to her."

Anna held her gloves in her hand as she tried to drown out the monotonous noises of the ward mixing with the occasionally cries of pain. Aphrodite leaned against the wall opposite her, tapping her fingers on her elbow with her arms crossed over her chest. She shook her head, shuddering with a shriek from the ward.

"Does pain bother you?"

"I'm the goddess of love. I never liked pain. That's Ares' realm of expertise."

"Love causes pain."

"I don't work in that kind of love." Aphrodite jumped at another sound, "This place just makes me ache."

"Why would Ares do this?"

"He's pretty much shit so all I can say in answer to that is because he's a dick."

"Does he get joy from it?"

"Don't you remember your Greek mythology?" Anna shook her head as Aphrodite took a breath, "Ares throne is covered in human skin. He has two minions named Phobos and Deimos… otherwise known as Panic and Fear. He and I had a child named Eros, the god of erotic love."

"Why would your child with him be the god of erotic love?"

"Because war and fear and panic play on emotions and physical reactions similar to those sparked by erotic interaction. In about seventy or so years psychologists and neurosurgeons will find that the brain's functions for those reactions are controlled in regions of the brain very close together." Aphrodite sank to squat on her heels, "Ares takes the same joy in watching mankind tear itself apart that I take watching two people who love one another take a romantic stroll next to the Rhine."

"I doubt anyone strolls there now."

"Love finds a way." Aphrodite clapped her hands together. "From the dawn of time, love is the more powerful of the forces. Love had Adam eating the fruit that Eve offered him so they wouldn't be separated and God sent His Son to die for the sins of the world because He loved them. I'd say love wins out."

"You're a philosopher."

"All lovers are poets."

Anna went to agree but Lady Sybil came back with Mrs. Crawley. "Mrs. Crawley, I'm so sorry to take up your time."

"No, Sybil's right. It'll be good for me to have something to bring a bit of joy." She put a hand on Anna's shoulder and gestured with her other, "Let's go in here shall we?"

Anna followed Mrs. Crawley and Lady Sybil into the room and removed her hat and coat. When Mrs. Crawly instructed she lay out on the cot as Mrs. Crawley tied her smock over her clothes. Anna felt her hands shaking and gripped them tightly.

"Don't worry dear, this is a very simple procedure." Mrs. Crawley pointed to Lady Sybil. "I hope you don't mind if I have her watch so she knows how to do it in future."

"Not at all." Anna smiled at Lady Sybil as Mrs. Crawley pushed Anna's legs to bend at the knee. "Could you-"

She cleared her throat, "Could you tell me what's going on so I know too?"

"Of course. I'm just going to start by feeling for any signs of formation near your stomach." Mrs. Crawley pressed at Anna's abdomen through her dress before reaching for the hem. "I'm going to compress your abdomen again but I need to see the response. May I raise this?"

Anna could only nod as she dress came to rest just below her breasts. She tried to breathe normally as Mrs. Crawley pressed on her stomach and then lower. Anna searched the room for any bit of comfort and saw Aphrodite sitting just next to her, trying to appear encouraging.

"Next I need to check your vaginal area. May I pull down your undergarments?"

Anna nodded and felt the material slide down her legs. In other circumstances this would be far more exciting but John was hundreds of miles away and someone else's hands were jabbing at her. This was medical and she was far to nervous to remember the better memories she associated with this position. She stared at the ceiling as someone held her hand. Anna blinked away a single tear as Aphrodite rubbed her shoulder.

"Well," Anna craned her neck down as Mrs. Crawley replaced the knickers and pulled the dress down to cover her again. "From what I can tell you are pregnant Mrs. Bates. I might guess two, almost three months along but it's been some time since I sat a midwifery course so I might be wrong."

"That's good enough for me." Anna swung her legs off the cot and stood. "Thank you both."

"Thank you Anna," Mrs. Crawley smiled at her though her eyes seemed clouded, as if she could not completely escape a sadness that lurked in the corners, "It does me good to know that something beautiful will come to this world despite all the darkness around us right now."

Anna smiled back and turned to Lady Sybil, "I hope it's not too much to ask but I'd like to keep this to myself. At least until Mr. Bates knows. I think it'd be unfair of me to tell everyone when he doesn't know yet."

"Of course. We'll be the soul of discretion." Lady Sybil grinned, "But I am really happy for you Anna."

"Thank you milady."

Anna almost skipped home, Aphrodite keeping up in her small boots and jacket she never seemed without. "Aren't you cold?"

"I don't get cold. Part of my immortal charm."

"I wish I could say the same."

"That bun will cook your oven so don't worry about it. I hear pregnant women run hotter than other people because they're making a human." Aphrodite counted on her fingers, "At least you're here for the English summer. If you were in Africa you'd melt before the baby's due in that kind of heat. You'd probably melt anyway but add to it the heat from that little sucker and boom, instant bakery."

Anna shook her head, the smile on her face not to be dimmed for anything.

John read the words and grinned.

As he stood, going to speak to Lord Grantham, something hit the train. He grabbed for the overhead luggage rack, just stopping himself from falling into the lap of an officer. He righted himself as something else hit their car.

They skidded and John hit the floor. He covered his head with his arms as the glass from the windows shattered around them. John peeked through the gap, crawling toward Lord Grantham. He pulled him to the side, checking his pulse, and called out to him.

Just as Lord Grantham opened his eyes the doors at either end burst open. Soldiers holding guns shouted at them in German stormed into the carriage. John immediately raised his hands and put his body in front of Lord Grantham's.

One of the soldiers moved toward them, gesturing with his gun and John worked himself to the floor slowly. The speed was not fast enough for one of the soldiers who kicked him in his bad leg. John grunted and hit the floor hard, knocking his chin. His head spun slightly as they searched him, ensured he had no weapons, and moved on.

John maneuvered back to Lord Grantham, pulling at his sleeve to dab at Lord Grantham's bleeding forehead. The cut looked superficial but head wounds bled a lot, deceiving the uninitiated into thinking the concern was far greater. John kept pressure there as Lord Grantham's eyes fluttered.

"Milord, stay awake."

"Bates?"

"It's me milord. The train's been seized by Germans."

"Bloody jerrys?"

"Yes sir." John held the back of Lord Grantham's head to keep his pressure constant on the cut. "I think they'll round us up in a minute to take us to a camp."

"Oh," Lord Grantham groaned, "I can bear anything Bates."

"Of course you can sir."

"But German tea… I think I'd rather die."

"I'll keep that in mind milord and insist you only get tea from home."

"Good man." He was silent a moment and John held his breath, making sure Lord Grantham was still breathing. "Bates?"

"Yes milord?" John looked down at Lord Grantham and noticed he pointed to the letter sticking just a corner form John's pocket.

"What's the news?"

"I was just coming to tell you. Anna's going to have a baby milord."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you milord." John checked the cut and went to do something about it before two soldiers came over. One grabbed John and forced him upright and the other grabbed Lord Grantham. They shuffled them toward the door, pushing Lord Grantham into John, who just caught him.

"Keep steady for them Bates."

"Yes milord."

"Because I need you to steady me."

"Will do milord." John helped Lord Grantham out of the train and into the snow with the others from their car. "Will do."


	22. Chapter 22

Anna took a deep breath and knocked on Lady Mary's door. Her bid to enter sounded hollow, like the life left her completely. Anna turned the knob and walked into the room where Lady Mary stared blankly at a number of cases open in front of her. None were filled and some had clothes draped over them but no real commitment to any of it.

"Milady do you need me to finish this for you?"

"No," Mary waved Anna off. "You've got other concerns. You're in mourning and even I can respect that."

Anna touched the black band on her arm. "Thank you for the flowers you sent for her grave milady, they looked lovely."

"Bates' family is our family since you and Bates are family it's doubly true." Lady Mary held a slipper in one hand a dress in the other, "It was the least I could do for his mother."

"All the same, milady, it was very generous."

"Yes, it was." Lady Mary walked a circuit of the cases before tossing the slipper into one and letting the dress fall off her arm onto the floor, completely unconscious to the actions.

Anna worried her hands in front of her before clearing her throat. "Milady, may I ask you something?"

"Hm?" Lady Mary seemed to notice Anna was still in the room. "Yes, what is it?"

"I know you're going to America, to be with your grandmother, and I was wondering if you'd decided who'd go with you. As your lady's maid."

"I hadn't decided. I even debated trying it on my own but I guess it's only because I haven't really given it much thought." Mary sat down on the chair by the bed, "By the state of my room I think it's safe to say I haven't give much attention to anything lately. Not enough to make any sort of decision."

"That's just it milady, I've made a decision because I've given it a lot of thought." Anna pulled the fingers of her left hand with her right.

"You have someone in mind to replace you?"

"No, milady." Anna stepped forward, as if to give herself the courage to continue. "You said you can't stay in this house because everything reminds you of Mr. Matthew and I understand your feelings because it's how I feel too."

Lady Mary raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"What you said broke my heart milady because that's how I feel. Everywhere I go in this house or in my cottage reminds me of Mr. Bates." Anna stared down at her hands, trying not to break into tears. "I can't stay here milady with all the servants looking at me with pity."

"If you need a reference Anna-"

"That's not it milady." Anna looked up, using all her focus to keep her breathing even, "I can't stay here but that doesn't mean I need to leave you."

"What do you mean Anna?"

"I mean, if you haven't found someone else to go with you to America then I want to go with you."

"Anna your husband isn't dead like mine. He's just missing in action, like my father. He could come home any day. It's different for you than for me."

"But it's not, milady." Anna felt a few tears escape as her chin trembled, "They all look at me the way they look at you. With pity because they think he's dead and they think I'm a fool for believing otherwise. I can't- I can't go on with that."

"Anna it's a long way. And in your condition-"

"Forgive me, milady, but you're going and we've the same condition." Anna took a deep breath, "I don't want to leave you milady because I'll never find someone I like working for better or who's been more kind or more generous and I feel I owe it to you not to leave you when you need someone you trust the most. But it's selfish because I need someone too."

Lady Mary stood, weaved through her cases, and put a hand on Anna's shoulder, "Then we'll bear this together shall we?"

Anna nodded, "Yes milady, we will."

"Good." Lady Mary heaved a breath and stared at her cases, "Then we best figure out this mess."

"I'm happy to help milady."

John gritted his teeth as his leg buckled under him again. One of the soldiers yelled and John felt hands help him to his feet. He tried to smile his thanks to Lord Grantham but could only manage to make his lip twitch.

"Worse case scenario Bates, we learn German in this place."

"They do scream it enough milord."

Lord Grantham bit his lip, lowering his voice, "Though I think it's all commands and vulgarity so not any German we could repeat at the dinner table eh?"

"No milord, I think not."

They walked further, following the procession of plodding men monitored on their exercise rounds of the fenced-in camp.

"I can't thank you enough for lying about me being an officer milord."

"Purely selfish Bates. I can't operate without you and I didn't plan to. I'd lie to God about your status if it meant you'd go to Heaven with me."

"Thank you, milord, I'd be honored."

"But not on this trip right Bates?"

"No milord."

John felt a twinge in his leg and grabbed at it, his gait shifting to more of a shuffle as Lord Grantham moved closer to him.

"I've heard talk in the bunks about a plan."

"Plan milord?"

"They want to try and get some men out. They think if they tunnel just right we'll be by the tree line and could make a break for it." Lord Grantham chuckled, "What do you think Bates? Do we have it in us to make a run for it?"

"Not sure I could run milord but I could hold them off for you."

"Nonsense." Lord Grantham batted the idea away with his hand. "It's both of us or nothing. I'd be completely hopeless out there on my own."

"If you say so milord."

They finished their rounds and the soldiers herded them back to their cabins. John waited for Lord Grantham to take his bunk before settling down, staring up at the ceiling. He slipped his hand into the pocket of his jacket and stroked the letter tucked there.

He dare not open it.

The first reason being that he read it so many times since coming here that the creases were on the verge of tearing and he did not want to have to assemble it like a puzzle every time he read it. Second, he did not want any of the soldiers or the others to see it. The Germans might take it and laugh and the others would either jeer at him for having hope or look morose about their own fortunes. Third, he memorized every word.

He would be a father. No matter what happened to him in this muddy prison so far away from his home he would be a father. Anna would be well, the baby would be well, and he helped bring something so precious into the world.

He smiled to himself, dragging a finger over the letter in his pocket. He would be a father. That was all he needed to know.

Anna held onto the railing as the ship tossed a bit in the choppy waves and opened the door to Lady Mary's cabin. The sound of retching had Anna almost frowning. But she went to the porthole and cracked it open a bit to let some fresh air in as Lady Mary lay back.

"I thought I was an oak, strong enough to withstand anything. Yet here I am wasting away on this ship as I lose all my meals to the pot."

"They say not everyone gets sea legs milady." Anna dabbed at Lady Mary's forehead with a cloth before taking the pot to the wash closet and rinsing the sick down the drain. "Perhaps you would stand it but the young master or mistress traveling with you doesn't like the sea."

"Poor dear," Lady Mary looked down at her abdomen, protruding from her dress, "It's been through so much and doesn't even know it yet."

"But it'll survive, just like you milady, because it's strong. You can bear anything and he or she will too." Anna helped move Lady Mary's legs into the bed and brought the pot back. "You just rest and think about the relaxation you'll have in America."

"The closer we get the more I regret going. Grandmama doesn't really lend to a relaxing environment. Maybe we should've stayed at Downton."

"But then you'd have regretted staying milady." Anna filled a glass with water and brought it over, "Sometimes we have to take the good with the bad."

"I suppose you taking me is the bad then?"

"I'd never call you the bad milady. You're nothing to me but good."

"You're always too kind." Lady Mary sighed into the pillows, trying to ease her breathing, "I never did ask, whatever did you do about your adorable little cottage? You didn't sell it did you?"

"I couldn't do that. I found a lodger to take it and Mrs. Hughes kindly agreed to look in on it from time to time while I'm away."

"Anna," Lady Mary sat up and Anna put a hand to her shoulder when her face whitened slightly and an audible burble came from her stomach. "Excuse me."

Anna shook her head, "Don't mention it."

"No," Lady Mary put a hand on her mouth a moment and then removed it, speaking carefully as though not wanting to open her mouth too widely, "You do realize that this could be a permanent change for me."

"Surely if you have a boy you'd have to come back. The child would be the heir to the estate."

"If it's a boy yes but there's a chance it's a girl, Anna, and in that case I'd have no reason to go back. I'd stay in America. I'd raise my daughter as an American socialite or whatever they call them now, and I'd make America my home."

"Milady, I thought Downton was your home?"

Lady Mary tried to smile but Anna saw the tears welling in her eyes, "Downton was my home but now that Matthew's gone and Papa might be too I don't see a reason to go back there. I love my family… even Edith on occasion when she's not being beastly, but I've no reason to go back. There's nothing to go back to."

Anna nodded, something pressing on her chest in a way she had not experienced. "You'd stay with your grandmother?"

"Until I got my feet under me. I'd find a flat or a house somewhere. New York possibly or maybe even Washington. There're plenty of opportunities for someone who has money like me in new places. I can reinvent myself and find happiness."

"I understand."

"That's just it Anna, I understand too." Lady Mary took her hands, "If Bates comes back then you'd have to go to him and I'd want you to in a heartbeat. But there's a chance he may not and if not-"

"If not then you want me to make a new life for myself with you, milady?"

"If you wanted." Lady Mary shrugged, "I know I couldn't afford to lose you. However if you wanted to make your own way I'd support you."

"Thank you but I'd stay with you."

"You needn't feel obligated if you don't want that."

"It's different for me, milady." Anna paused, teething the edge of her tongue to find a way to say what was on her mind. "For a woman like you money covers everything but I'm not like you. I'll have a child and a job but no father. If I left you then I'd have to find my own way and that requires a husband. Women in my class don't find husbands willing to raise another man's child. Without you, milady, I've nowhere to go."

"It might be different here than in England. Americans are a funny lot so maybe they'll be more open to it."

"Men are men, milady and jobs are jobs. There's no changing that by changing where they're located on a map."

"I suppose you're right." Lady Mary lay back again, "But promise me you'll consider it. I don't think I'm ready to lose you just yet. Nevertheless should you want to spread your wings in this new place and go off to adventures untold I wouldn't begrudge you a moment."

"Thank you, milady and I promise I'll keep that in mind should the urge strike me." Anna stood. "If you're feeling well enough I'll leave you to get dinner. What do you want me to bring you?"

"I don't think I could stomach more than a thin broth if they have it."

"I'll see." Anna left the cabin, smiling at the passersby on her way to the galley.

"It's beef tonight." Anna had her hand on the banister to go down a level. She turned to see Aphrodite spitting into the ocean. "The stew is beef. They can give you the broth and she can choke it down. If she can eat it then it'll be good for the little monster in her gut."

"You don't like children?"

"I like children okay. Had a few myself but they don't seem to like me anymore. Teenagers, they all go through this phase thinking they know more than you. It's exhausting. I swore off children after that."

Anna shook her head, "Unless you've got something helpful to say I'd rather you left me in peace."

"Helpful how?"

"You could tell me how John is."

"I haven't seen John." Aphrodite jogged to catch up and keep pace with Anna. "Last I knew you wrote him about the little critter kicking at your ribcage and he was pretty ecstatic but it's been all quiet on the Eastern front since then."

"Why haven't you seen him?"

"Because he's in territory controlled by my ex-boyfriend and while I have a plethora of skills, sneaking into Ares occupied territory isn't one of them."

"You haven't even tried?" Anna stopped with her hand on the knob."

"No. That'd be stupid. Waste of good resources."

"To try and tell me if my husband's alive?"

"You already know he's alive." Aphrodite used her finger to tap on Anna's chest above her heart. "You feel it right there."

"That's wishful thinking."

"That's intuition and you're generation doesn't give it enough credit. You're people survived for thousands on years on that and look where you are now. Instinct is the lifeblood of our existence. It taps into a network our brains don't understand to tell us what our minds may never comprehend. But we feel it in the heart and that's all that matters."

"You're being ridiculous."

"Not as ridiculous as you, not believing yourself that he's alive."

"But you could make sure and tell me." Anna could have kicked herself for the pleading in her voice that bordered on whining.

"Let's say, for argument's sake, I have one shot to run in there and see John, what does that do you?"

"Tells me if he's alive."

"Sure, for the moment." Aphrodite sighed, "War is unpredictable. Having not-so-accidently started one once and seen more than a few others, I can say this from experience."

"That doesn't mean you can't tell me where he is." Anna sniffed, trying to keep her mind and eyes clear. "I just want to know if my baby'll grow up with only the stories of his father."

"Aren't we all just stories in the end?" Aphrodite shrugged, "Though I didn't make that phrase up, I stole that line from someone else so don't quote that as one of mine."

"I don't care about what you say. I want John here."

"A lot of people want their husbands or brothers or fathers or friends here and they won't ever have them again and the worst part is they already know that. Regardless, they prayed to whatever gods they believed in and a few they didn't just for the chance, small as it might be, their loved ones would come home." Aphrodite put her hands on Anna's shoulders, "Don't lose hope. That's your greatest weapon in this. It's far more powerful than you can imagine."

"It's too hard." Anna practically jammed the palms of her hands into her eyes as her chest racked with sobs. She sank to the deck, all alone in the gathering night, and cried. When Aphrodite pulled her close she cried into her jacket with the creaking material, tugging at it as if the yank might dispel any of the nervous knots in her stomach that practically vibrated with suppressed emotional energy.

"I told you once that he'd be worth all the tears you'd ever cry for him and I didn't lie. Not then and not now." Aphrodite pulled Anna back enough to look her in the eye, "Trust me when I say that you and John have too much going for you to give up now."

"But if he dies-"

"Then you'll have to wait until Heaven to see him again but he's worth the wait. You'll be together in Heaven, living it up near the Pearly Gates." Aphrodite clicked her tongue, "At least that's what people say. I've never been so it's all word of mouth for me."

Anna laughed, wiping at her eyes, "Really?"

"I once visited my uncle Hades but that's a different kind of afterlife." Aphrodite helped Anna stand. "This isn't the end Anna."

"Are you saying it gets better?"

"No," Aphrodite put her hands in her pockets and extended her arms so the jacket flared out like wings a moment, "I'm saying it gets different and that's not always a bad thing."

"And I just believe you?"

"Haven't steered you wrong yet." Aphrodite walked backwards, "And I won't, ever. Promise."

A moment later she vanished.


	23. Chapter 23

John kept his head down as the soldiers walked past. Lord Grantham waited until they were out of earshot and leaned toward him. "They say tonight."

"They've been saying that for months."

"But tonight they're sure."

"I still don't feel comfortable with this milord." John swept the room, "What if the guards know about it and are just putting us on so we take the risk? It'd be just like them to be waiting at the other end to shoot us all as we try to escape."

Lord Grantham pulled a pair of pliers from her jacket, "That's why we're going out another way."

"Milord?"

"They'll cock it up, guaranteed. Those blokes don't have enough brains between them and I gave up trying to get them to see sense. They haven't got any. While they're getting nabbed near the west edge we'll make our escape to the north. We trek our way to the main road and then work ourselves to the coast. It's foolproof."

"I hope you haven't forgotten that my leg may not be so cooperative milord?" John grimaced, "I don't know if I could keep you with you."

"That's the beauty of it. We'll move slowly. They'd expect us to run for the hills and so they'll move ahead but we'll take the steady route. We cut cross-country to the river so they lose our scent and then we hide like the Boers did, use the wilderness to our advantage."

"At the risk of reminding your Lordship about the war we both lived and remember, the Boers knew the land there and we don't here."

"But neither do the Germans. This place is slapdash and these are imports, no more native than you or I. The game's not rigged in their favor any more than in ours." Lord Grantham chewed his lip, "I won't leave without you Bates so if you have doubts then we won't go."

John took another survey of the room before nodding, "I'm with you come hell or high water milord."

"Good because we'll probably see a fair bit of both on this trip."

Anna tried to keep her tears to herself as she rocked her child, his cries continuing no matter what she did. The room was dark but for the bedside lamp and Anna knew she would have to be up in a few hours time judging by the level of light outside. She tried singing to the boy but he just wept, fists balled and face scrunched to allow his mouth all the room he needed to howl at the world.

"Man that little sucker's got a set of pipes." Aphrodite came from the corner, removing her jacket and tossing it onto a chair.

"If you're not here to help-"

"Give him here." Aphrodite reached her arms forward and took the child from Anna's arms before nodding toward the bed. "Get over there and tuck yourself in because I don't have the hands to do it myself if I'm holding the baby."

Anna staggered to the bed and laid on it, trying to calm her frazzled nerves. "Where'd you learn childcare?"

"I told you, I had kids." Aphrodite rocked the boy and his screams lowered in volume. "Lady Mary's dead to the world in the next room and her kid could sleep through the apocalypse."

"No need to remind me I'm a horrible mother." Anna moaned and Aphrodite came over, raising her eyebrows.

"I know that's the stress talking because the Anna Bates I know wouldn't say something that stupid." Aphrodite cooed at the child, "Your mommy's the best in the whole world isn't she. She's just tired because you refuse to sleep. You got a double dose of your parents' stubbornness didn't you?"

Anna tried to even her breathing, bringing down her ragged heartbeat and labored breathing. "Why does Master George sleep through the night and he won't?"

"Well Master George keeps trying to tumble down the stairs and your little one is bright eyed and bushy tailed most of the time." Aphrodite cuddled the child closer, "Yes you are."

Anna lay back on the pillow, her eyes heavy. "He's taken with you."

"Love at first sight, happens to me all the time." Aphrodite rocked him, "I like what you named him. It's fitting."

"I wanted to remind myself who's out there for us."

"As you should." Aphrodite continued rocking the child, "I do have good news on the father front."

"You've seen John?" Anna was upright in a moment but Aphrodite shook her head. "You don't know anything about him do you?"

"I know there was an attempted escape from an officer's camp a few days ago and while they caught most of the escapees they reported two got away. They gave up the search this morning, convinced the two somehow trekked their way off the map or whatever. Mostly they just got tired of dragging their asses through mud in the French countryside."

"And that's John?"

"I don't know but I think so." Aphrodite changed positions with the boy in her arms. "But the news I had was something a little more big picture."

"How big?"

"End of the war big." Aphrodite laid the child in his cot and came to the end of the bed. "As it happens my father had one last fling awhile back and so I have another half-sister out there. Now usually I wouldn't care but she's been bred especially to fight Ares. She entered the picture a few days ago and she's making her way to this little place near Veld to stop the Germans."

"I don't understand."

"She's an Amazon and she's going to stop Ares. I was a little miffed that the Amazons didn't let anyone know or drop a line about the whole thing like, 'hey, we raised a god-killer, no big deal' but they've been kind of tucked away on their own little paradise island for a long time now so I'm not surprised." Aphrodite sighed, "If I'd known I would've hosted a coming out party for her… or helped her with that love situation. Poor girl'll get her heart broken but it's all in the name of experience in my opinion so live and let love yeah?"

Anna felt her brain spitting like it could not put thoughts together any more and she barely understood what Aphrodite was saying. "What?"

"The war's almost over and so Ares is losing his hold. Once it's all snapped then I can find John… and a lot of other missing halves for people but John first." Aphrodite leaned over, "'Cause you two are my favorites, don't tell the others."

Anna nodded and lay back on the pillows, "If you say so."

"Little John might get to meet his daddy sooner than you think." Anna's eyes fluttered but she saw Aphrodite lean over the crib, "Your daddy loves you little man. Believe in that if in nothing else."

John collapsed behind the tree, holding his leg. He pulled back the soaked, dirty, makeshift bandages and gagged at the smell. Lord Grantham peeked over before pulling back, trying to waft the stench away.

"Good gracious man why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't think the wire was a problem when it gouged me in our escape but I don't think it was clean."

"The whole leg's probably gone septic." Lord Grantham crawled around the tree and studied the terrain a bit before sitting down by John. "The line's just over there. If we can make it then we're in French hands. I know they're useless but in this case they're all we have."

"I'll take the French over the Germans milord."

"I hope they've got a good doctor with all the posturing they do about that medical school of theirs."

"Right now milord, I'll satisfy myself with allies." John stood, putting all his weight on his left leg as his right leg practically hung useless. "We don't have much cover after we break the tree line."

"Then we'll have to be quick." Lord Grantham stood too, putting John's arm around his shoulders. "We can manage."

"We're not young men anymore milord."

"No but we've survived this long. We're not going to give up when the finish line is just within our grasp. Not with our beautiful wives and children waiting for us. Right Bates?"

"Right milord."

"Good." Lord Grantham directed them right to the edge of the trees and then angled their direction toward the French trench. "On my signal Bates."

"Always milord." John tried to ready himself, thinking only of Anna and his child. He could run to his dying breath for them. He could run now for them.

"Go."

They moved as fast as they could. Two older men, their gaits hampered by John's useless leg and their age combine with lack of proper food and frayed nerves, stumbled their way to the line. Shots sounded but they kept going. Shouts followed them but they ignored them, their eyes focused on their target.

Just as the edge of the trench was within sight John felt something strike his leg. He cried out and tumbled forward, barely catching himself before he landed face first in the mud. He felt Lord Grantham sprawled slightly beside him as the pain bloomed up his leg and he only just noticed that Lord Grantham was not moving.

John clawed at the ground, trying to yank himself forward. His other arm grabbed for the collar of Lord Grantham's shirt but it tore in his hands. He bunched the threadbare and thin cloth of Lord Grantham's uniform in his hands and dragged them both to the edge of the trench.

Hands reached for them and John pushed Lord Grantham in first before falling forward. Someone caught him, stopping another face plant into the ground. He felt his eyes hazing, the adrenaline of the moment wearing off as the pain took up full residence in his leg. He tried to understand what people were saying but their words garbled. He had no idea if they spoke English or something else for all he could understand.

Somehow, through the fog gathering in his mind, John managed, "Sergeant John Bates and Lieutenant Colonel Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham. We're English."

The voices continued but John felt his grip on conscious loosening like his grip on Lord Grantham. He closed his eyes and fell into the blackness. He ran for his wife and his child and he made it. He just did not know where he made it to.


	24. Chapter 24

Anna crouched low, stalking around the couch to see the little blonde-haired boy hiding with a darker haired boy. She snuck right up behind them and growled as she put her hands on their shoulders. Both boys shrieked with laughter and tried to run away but Anna grabbed the dark haired boy and blew raspberries all over his neck while the blond child ran right into his mother's waiting arms, where she proceeded to slather him in kisses.

"Anna found you again." Lady Mary hugged George close, "You'll have to hide better next time."

"Or maybe Anna's just too good for this game." Anna looked over to see a lanky, dark-haired man, stalking toward them. He bent to kiss Lady Mary's cheek, "Isn't that right Anna?"

"I hope so Mr. Talbot."

"Please, at least call me Henry. Mr. Talbot is my father."

"I'd have a hard time breaking with tradition sir." Anna smiled and set the wriggling child in her arms on the floor to run away. A moment later George joined him and they zoomed around the room.

"George and John don't seem to mind." Talbot noted as they weaved between the legs of the adults, trying to tag one another.

"That's because they're children dear." Lady Mary put a hand on Talbot's arm, "You'd understand better if we were back in England."

"I may be English but I'll never understand it. That's why I like America. It taught me how to race cars, I taught others how to drive cars, and now it's teaching my stepson that class doesn't matter. John's twice as much fun as those snot-nosed socialite children you tried to get him to play with last month." Talbot shuddered, "And their mothers were worse."

"That's true. I've never met a group of women I could stand less than them." Lady Mary rolled her eyes and went to say something else but one of the servants entered the room. "Yes?"

"Sorry to interrupt Lady Mary, but a telegram's just come for you and Mrs. Bates."

Lady Mary looked at Anna, "News from Downton?"

"I'm not expecting anything milady."

"The messenger said it was quite urgent." The servant gave Lady Mary the telegram, "It's from your mother, ma'am."

"Thank you." Lady Mary opened it and read it quickly, her hand going over her mouth.

"Milady?" Anna moved toward her as Talbot read over Lady Mary's shoulder, taking the telegram from her grip to give it to Anna. Anna read it and felt the breath stop in her chest.

Robert and Bates found. Stop. Treated in France and then sent to London. Stop. Set sail as soon as possible and meet us in London. Stop.

Anna looked at Lady Mary, "Is it true?"

"There's no reason for anyone to lie." Lady Mary turned to Talbot but he was already in motion, kissing the top of her head.

"I'll book passage for the five of us tomorrow morning. We'll pack tonight and leave first thing."

Anna and Lady Mary were left standing in shock in the sitting room, their children now crashing their toys together in the corner but neither woman noticed. Lady Mary worried her hands and Anna kept moistening her lips in an effort to stop her mouth going dry. Finally they both tried to speak at the same time. Anna deferred to Lady Mary.

"It didn't say if they were alright."

"It said they were found, milady." Anna soothed, her own mind racing through the possible states of her husband, each more grisly than the last.

"It said they're at hospital Anna. What if they're horribly wounded and we're only going back to say goodbye before they die?" Lady Mary shook her head, collapsing onto the sofa behind her to sob, "I can't bear to lose someone else."

"Milady," Anna inched forward as the boys looked up from the corner and wandered over, curious as to Lady Mary's display of emotion. "Then at least we'll have seen them and said it before we lost the chance."

Lady Mary nodded as George maneuvered himself onto his mother's lap. "Why are you crying mummy?"

"Because I'm-" Lady Mary looked up at Anna, who nodded encouragingly. "Because I'm very happy. We've just got some news that your grandfather is waiting for us to see him in London."

"Where's London?"

"It's far away, across the ocean, and so we're going to get on a big boat to go there."

"Yay! We're going on a boat." George worked his way off his mother's lap and started running around the room. "I'll ride on a boat."

"What about us mummy?" Anna bent to lift John from the floor. "Are we staying here?"

"No darling we're going on the boat too. Because you're father's waiting for us in London." Anna took a deep breath, "Your father wants very much to meet you."

John opened his eyes, trying to sort through his thoughts. Any recent memories were hazy but he was sure he had recently been moving. Or at least something under him had moved. He was not sure what or when but he knew he was no longer in a trench.

"Hey stranger." John squinted to see Aphrodite leaning on the side of his bed, "Glad to see you awake bright eyes."

"Where am I?"

"Hospital in London. It's supposed to be the finest they have. You and Lord Grantham were booked into a field hospital near Normandy but they shipped you over the channel at earliest convenience when Lady Cora got wind of it. Old Lady Grantham wasn't having any of that French care for her son." Aphrodite pointed at the white walls, "She's who you have to thank for these digs."

John went to move and winced when he felt his leg. His hand worked down it but withdrew quickly when he did not feel the rest of his leg. He pulled the covers up and almost screamed at the sight of his leg, bandaged heavily around the knee, with no more leg below that.

"Ah, right." Aphrodite sat on the space of the bed clear because he no longer had a leg to put there. "That injury you got from the barbed wire got super infected. In your cross-country slog it turned necrotic and so they had to amputate below your knee. They also had to take a bullet out of your hip but that's healing nicely so I wouldn't worry too much about range of motion in the waist area."

John stared open-mouthed at Aphrodite, "Range of motion?"

"Yeah, like movement. You can still walk."

"I'm missing half of my leg."

"Better that than you life sweetheart."

John shouted and knocked the tray next to his bed on the floor. Aphrodite looked down at it and then back up at John.

"Do you want me to moan with you about the loss of your leg?" Aphrodite winced, "I'm not great with the grieving process, I'll be totally honest. I only remember four of the five steps."

"How can you talk like that?"

"How do you want me to talk?"

"What about how I'm going to survive?" John threw his head back against the pillows. "I can't do anything without a leg."

"That's crap. There are triathlon people who do it missing limbs. You'll adapt and move forward."

"How does one move without a leg up flights of stairs?"

"You get a prosthetic."

John closed his eyes, the hot tears gathered and leaking out but he did not care. "I'll lose my job."

"Not after you saved Lord Grantham's life again." Aphrodite pointed to John's hip. "That bullet would've ripped through him if you hadn't stopped it. Your job's secure forever."

John shook his head, "I should've died."

"No, you shouldn't have." Aphrodite stood, "If you had you wouldn't get to see your son."

"He wouldn't want a cripple and a broken man for his father."

"You'd be surprised what people want."

"Like you know." John snapped, "You put people together and you play with their emotions. You stay by their side and convince them to believe in lies but when the real difficulties rise you only offer them platitudes. You don't know anything."

"First," Aphrodite held up a finger, "I'll chalk your rudeness up to your pain threshold being exceeded. Second, I've stood by you through everything. Third, I didn't offer you platitudes I offered you truth. And fourth, because I do have four things to say about this, there's no lie to anything I've said to you or Anna the whole time I've worked with you both."

"I'm less of a man now than I was when I left Anna."

"And she'll love you more because you survived." Aphrodite bent down near him. "It'll be a shock but she'll adapt. You married a woman strong enough to handle anything and you'll handle it with her. That's what marriage and love are. For better or worse in sickness and health... I believe I heard you say those words at the Registrar's office."

"They didn't mean this."

"They meant exactly this." Aphrodite motioned at John's whole body. "Love is flexibility and adaptability, both of which your lovely wife has in spades."

"She can't handle this."

"Give her some credit." Aphrodite brushed at her coat, "She's not weak and she's not superficial. She loved you for something other than your body and that's what she'll love you for now."

"She won't."

"Fine," Aphrodite threw her hands into the air, "You want to mope then do, it's part of the grieving process and you need some time for it but know this: if you push Anna away I will rain down the wrath of a goddess and you're not ready for that pal."

"You can't make my life any worse than it is now."

Aphrodite leaned forward, her eyes narrowed, "I dare you to watch me."

John turned to the wall and only heard Aphrodite leave.

Anna wrung her hands as Lady Mary spoke quickly in the phone box. Talbot had George on his shoulders and chased John around the little fountain near them. George shouted instructions to his 'steed' and Talbot tried to comply but he did not want to ruin the game for John either. Anna tried to smile but the trepidation pushed it back to a nervous gnawing of her lower lip.

"Keep that up and I'll need to invent chapstick for you."

Anna tossed her hands into the air, "This is when you decide to arrive?"

"I thought," Aphrodite jumped from the fountain edge, "It'd be a great time to give you a needed heads up about your husband."

"Why?"

"He's not himself."

Anna's eyes narrowed, "How'd you mean?"

"He's experiencing the anger part of the five steps to grieving." Aphrodite blew out a stream into the early December air, "He just whipped through the denial stage like a bat outta hell but now he's firmly planted in the anger stage."

"What are you talking about?"

"He lost the lower part of his right leg to gangrene, Anna. They amputated it so it's not there anymore."

Anna sat down on a bench, her hand over her mouth. She sobbed quietly, not wanting to draw attention to herself, and tried to control her emotions. Aphrodite knelt in front of her and took her other hand. Anna gathered her breath, "How much?"

"Everything below the knee." Aphrodite put her free hand to Anna's shoulder, "You'll get through this, I promise."

"He won't." Anna shook her head, "He worried before about what I saw in him and now he'll feel like less of a man because he's physically less."

"But you don't love him any less and you need to tell him that." Aphrodite pointed to the sprinting little boy with bouncing brown curls. "You need Little John to help with that."

"I'm not calling him Little John."

"Why not?"

"Because Little John's a storybook character."

"I dunno. He's a supportive dude, helped out Robin Hood, was pretty strong. Not a bad role model." Aphrodite stood, "He even liked Robin Hood's girlfriend after Maid Marian died."

"What?"

"Kate Potter. Feisty little blonde who was basically Robin Hood's rebound girl?" Anna raised an eyebrow and Aphrodite waved a hand, "Long story. About eleven worthless episodes worth of crap costumes and worse acting in the last season where they shoehorned her. She deserved so much better than those crappy eleven. The whole show was a slog, even before they tried to put another girl in there, but we can't all get what we want can we?"

"Can we focus on the task at hand?"

"Right," Aphrodite took the seat next to Anna on the bench, "What was the question?"

"What I'm supposed to do."

"That's simple. You're job is to love him through it. Don't act like it's not a problem because it is but you need to make sure he knows you love him no matter what."

"I do." Anna looked around them as some people stared in their direction, her raised voice drawing eyes. She monitored her tone, "I do."

"I know that but he's in a place where all the demons get a lot bigger and appear very menacing. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees in there."

"How do I help him?"

"He needs to work through this process. He's lost a part of himself… quite literally, and that takes getting used to. He needs to struggle, he needs to fall, and he needs to work for it. Encourage him, love him, take him to task if he's giving you crap about it all, but most of all you need to help him see the man he was is the man he is… just different and that can be better."

"I hope you apply all this advice to your own love life." Anna smiled as John ran over to her, giggling.

"You know people with good advice about love," Aphrodite stood, stepping out of the way for John to crawl into his mother's lap, "It comes from those who can't find it or aren't in it."

"But you have someone."

"Technically yes but I don't think he wants me back, not after what I did."

"You could always try." Anna cuddled John close, kissing the top of his head.

"I could." Aphrodite winked and walked away, lost quickly in the crowd.

As Anna smiled at John someone sat next to her on the bench. She turned, expecting to see Lady Mary, but held John closer when she saw an unfamiliar man there. He tipped his hat at her and Anna nodded to him but something about his eyes knotted her stomach.

"Beautiful day."

Anna chewed the inside of her lip a minute, "It's a bit brisk but Christmas is on the way so I guess that makes December days cheerful."

"What brings a woman as lovely as yourself out on a day like today?" He slid just a bit closer and Anna risked a look at Lady Mary, still in the phone booth, and Talbot, now pointing out the ducks to George.

"Just waiting for some additional news about my husband and my employer's father. We're going to visit them in hospital."

"This hospital?" He pointed across the street and Anna nodded. "Then my condolences because the only ones in there are posh torries and the disabled."

"It's a place where the sick go to get well and it's a blessing they're alive at all. After so many died in the war I'm counting my blessings."

The man snorted, "Surely you couldn't see yourself being happy with a cripple, even if he's a young cripple."

"I most certainly could because my husband makes me very happy." Anna stood, holding John, and the man stood too, blocking her path. "Let me by please."

"Come on. You can't depend on a leech who'll suck the life out of you with needs to provide for when you have a child." He reached out a hand but Anna backed away. "I could make you happier than him."

"I very much doubt it. Now let us by."

The man menaced toward her but Talbot was there in a moment, holding George in one arm. "Excuse me sir, are you a friend of Mrs. Bates here?"

"We only just met."

"Then I suggest you keep your distance formal." He inched forward and the man backed away. "Even better, I suggest you find somewhere else to lurk."

The man scoffed and slunk away as Lady Mary joined them, batting at her hair as if she could contain her frazzled nerves. She looked between Anna, holding John close, and Talbot before watching the man walk away. She made a disapproving noise.

"Who was the repugnant man?"

"No idea and I'm glad he's gone." Anna faced the hospital, "I think it's time we saw who we really came to see."

"I agree wholeheartedly." Lady Mary led them across the street like a procession and only had to argue a minute with the wisp of a girl at reception before they took the lift to the second floor.

Lady Mary exited first, striding confidently down the halls and waving nurses out of their way. Someone tried to stop them but she glared them down until she reached two rooms with closed doors. She pointed to the one of the left, marked 2016.

"Anna, Bates is in there. If you want we can watch John for a moment while you go and see him."

"No thank you milady," Anna reset John on her hip, staring down the door like a potentially charging silver-backed gorilla, "I think my husband needs to meet his son."

"When you're finished, if you finish before our visit is over," Lady Mary pointed down a few doors, "We're in room 2010."

"Thank you milady."

Lady Mary took George's hand and started down the hall. Anna watched them go and gathered her courage. Before she stepped toward the door, Talbot patted Anna on the shoulder, ruffled John's hair, and smiled at them.

"It'll do him good to see you, no matter what he's been through."

"Thank you Mr. Talbot."

"I do wish you'd call me Henry."

"It's not proper."

"Then," He huffed, "Call me Mr. Henry. It'd make me feel like we were actually friends and not just awkwardly in the same space."

"That, Mr. Henry, I can do."

"See, progress." He urged them toward the door, "Now I have to go meet my father-in-law after I married his daughter without permission."

"Good luck Mr. Henry."

"I'll need all of it."

Anna heaved a deep breath and put her hand on the latch for the door. She pushed in, remembering for a moment the last time she entered John's room without knocking, and smiled at the memory. It would not be like that now. Now would be very different.

There he was. Thinner, she could see that with all the sheets pulled to his chest. His face was gaunt, the skin hanging slack where once it stretched full, his eyes sunken, and his color grayer than she remembered. Anna stepped forward and noticed the depression on the blanket where a leg should be but was not. She steeled herself in the next step as John turned his head to the door.

His eyes locked on hers and Anna felt a thrill for a moment before sorrow chased that sensation away. His eyes were dim. He was dim. Nothing about his appearance shone the way it used to. He did not even smile when he saw her.

"Hello John." Anna came to the edge of the bed.

"Anna." John's voice was flat and Anna felt her heart seize. He nodded to John, "Who's this?"

"This is John." She turned the boy to see his father, "He wanted to meet his father for the first time. He's been very excited."

"Not much of me to meet is there?" John gestured to the lower half of his body, "But he's welcome to it."

"John," Anna chided and set her son on the chair by the bed a moment. He immediately stood up, playing with his fingers. "He wanted to meet his father."

"Half a man isn't much of a father." John surveyed the boy like eyeing up a potential recruit, "He needs someone who can be there for him."

Anna stepped back, "And that's not you?"

"Not now."

"John, why are you being like this?"

"Like what, Anna?"

"Like a right wanker, John." Anna turned to see Aphrodite in the corner, "That's what she'd like to say but she's got class I don't so I'll say it."

"What are you doing here?" He growled at her but Aphrodite did not look the least bit phased.

"Trying to stop you being yourself self-flagellating self." Aphrodite pointed at Anna, "If you're so determined to see the bad in this situation then I suggest you man up and divorce Anna right here."

Anna turned to John, "What?"

But his focus was entirely on the woman walking toward the end of his bed as he shifted himself to sit up, "This is none of your business."

"Oh but it is. You made it my business when you dared to think, for a moment, that boy doesn't need you."

"What would you know about what sons need from their fathers?"

"About as much as you. You forget, my father wasn't exactly super hands-on in my upbringing either. He whored with whomever he wanted, left a boat load of illegitimate children around to clean up his messes, and didn't give two shits about the rest of us." Aphrodite pointed to John, still standing on the chair, "That boy needs love. No matter what bits and pieces of you are missing you can give him that because all you need's your heart and last I checked it's still beating strong enough for you to hate yourself."

Anna blinked, "He can see you?"

"I thought acting as go-between on this issue was getting pretty shit so I decided I needed to show up to both of you at once. Speeds up the process." Aphrodite addressed Anna but kept her eyes on John, "I got tired of listening to him moan to me for the last two weeks about how you'd be better off without him and how you should divorce him. I thought I'd check that his heart hadn't collapsed into a black, shriveled mess when I wasn't looking."

"Divorce?" Anna turned to John, feeling tears in her eyes, "Why would you suggest that?"

"Because he didn't have the courage to do it himself, if that's even what he wants." Aphrodite scowled, "He wanted it to be your idea. Coward."

"He's not a coward," Anna pointed her finger at Aphrodite before turning back to John, "Why would you think I'd divorce you?"

"I thought you'd be better off without me." John finally faced her and she saw his own eyes glistening. "You need someone strong and I'm not anymore."

"John you're the strongest man I know."

"I'm only part of a man now Anna," John threw back the cover and Anna saw the stump of his leg. "You may as well see it since there's nowhere for my shame to hide once I leave here."

"Why are you talking about shame?" Anna sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed John's hands in one of hers and touched his cheek with the other. "I see no shame in this."

"I'm broken Anna. Damaged. And I'll never be undamaged."

Anna shook her head, "You're not damaged John Bates."

She released his hands to pull his forehead to hers. She felt his resistance to it but after a moment he relaxed. She held him there until she thought he smelled like he used to. For a moment, he was John again.

Anna moved back, "You could never be damaged to me. You are made holier, and higher, to me because of the suffering you've been put through. You are my husband and I've never been prouder, nor loved you more, than I do at this moment."

John's voice caught in his throat as Anna stroked his face. "Truly?"

"Truly." She smiled and felt it reach her eyes for the first time in weeks. "I'll never love anyone like I love you and whether you have one leg or no legs or both legs that'll never change."

John pulled her close and Anna surrendered to his embrace. They cried like that for a time, just sobbing in the comfort of one another until she heard John laugh a little. They separated, wiping at one another's tears, and John touched Anna's cheek.

"I love you, Anna."

"And I love you." She turned to where she left John but saw him in the corner, playing with Aphrodite.

Aphrodite picked the boy off the floor and brought him over, "I'd call him Jack, to prevent all that confusion because I think calling him John is a hazard and you can't call him his middle name."

John turned to Anna, "What's his middle name?"

"Smith." Anna arranged 'Jack' on her lap. "I wanted to remember both of us when I saw him and remember what our love made."

John smiled at his son and the boy reached a hand forward before crawling into John's arms. John held the boy tightly, crying into the boy's hair that matched his own. Anna felt the tears at her own eyes again and someone passed her a handkerchief.

"You may need this." Aphrodite smiled at the little family, "Welcome to the happiest uphill climb Anna Bates. Enjoy it for me."

Before Anna could respond Aphrodite vanished.


	25. Chapter 25

John watched his son run around the room, holding the tiny model aeroplane tightly in his fist, and twirling the propellers with his fingers. A hand came to John's shoulder and he took it in his, kissing it. He turned up to see Anna's face as she bent down to kiss his cheek.

"Happy Christmas Mr. Bates."

"Happy Christmas Mrs. Bates." John kissed her lips and waited for her to join him on the sofa. "You spoiled him."

"Me? I gave him a pair of shoes and that plane. You're the one who went to Ripon three times to buy him that second edition collection of fairy tales."

"He's worth spoiling."

"Yes he is." Anna kissed John again, "As are you, Mr. Bates."

John felt his breath catch a bit, "What did you have in mind, Mrs. Bates?"

"Something that'd be quite scandalous to say with our son in the room, Mr. Bates." Anna whispered in John's ear, biting at his earlobe, "But more than worth the wait if you can get him to bed."

John grabbed his cane and snuck a kiss before standing. His gait hitched and the light tap of his cane offset with a comforting thump of his wooden right foot. Anna watched him scoop of their son, both giggling uncontrollably as John hauled the boy over his shoulder.

He tried to cry for his mother between his fits of laughter and Anna came to his rescue. Or so he thought. Instead of saving her son she started tickling him. He shrieked, pleading for mercy as John opened the door to the boy's room.

"Bedtime Jacky." John put the boy on the bed and pulled down the covers as Jack placed his aeroplane on the apple crate he insisted was his bedside table. "What story tonight?"

Anna leaned down to kiss her son, "When you're finished it's time for prayers and then bed. No arguments, even if it's Christmas."

John watched his wife leave and then pulled out the new book, "How about a Grimm fairytale?"

John looked up from his accounting as Anna entered their bedroom, sighing. "Did he go off alright?"

"He was dozing during prayers. He repeated three times for the Lord to bless the dog he wants but doesn't have yet and asked that we could go to the sea on our next holiday before he snored in the middle of a prayer." Anna laughed, "If I hadn't been so insistent I would've laughed right there."

"Maybe next year we could think about a holiday to the sea. Or even a dog." John tallied the numbers and recorded them in his ledger before closing it. "Our hotel's booked for the next few weeks and the summer reservations are coming in. It wouldn't be too difficult and a boy needs a friend who can run the length of the garden with him."

"Because I can't?" Anna draped her arms over John's shoulders from behind.

"Because I can't." John rapped his knuckles against his prosthetic, "When I do the hinge seizes and then I have to oil it. It's more temperamental than the Dowager Countess."

"Poor you." Anna pouted in John's ear, "Whatever will you do?"

"Foreswear it and hop along like Long John Silver I guess, with a huge crutch I can use to knock people out of my way in crowds at the fair." John turned in his chair, "I could retire and live as a man of leisure now."

"You could." Anna's fingers moved in the hair at the back of John's head. "But then what would I do?"

"You could give Lady Mary your notice and work here, for me."

"Trade one master for another?" Anna stepped back, "I don't think so Mr. Bates. If anyone will retire in leisure it's me."

"I did notice Lady Mary gave you three days off."

"I think Mr. Henry is getting to her and she'll finally start dressing herself." Anna pulled the covers back on their bed as John worked his way to the bureau, pulling out their pajamas. "But it's more than that. It's about having a reliable friend, a confidant, and neither of us wants to give that up."

"You could always have her for tea or for dinner."

"It's different." Anna stopped, her focus toward the bed but off in the distance, "It's about having someone, in those quiet moments, who you trust to hear everything, see everything, and say nothing. Someone on whom you rely for anything and everything without reservation or doubt."

"Darling," John put their pajamas on the end of the bed and reached for her shoulders. "I understand. I remember how hard it was for Lord Grantham when I gave my notice so if you want to continue working for Lady Mary then I've no argument. You're invaluable to her as you to me and I don't have any compunction about you staying on as long as she wants or needs you. I'm not a jealous man."

"No you're not and thank you, it means the world to me that you understand." Anna rubbed his arm. "Now drop your trousers and on the bed with you."

John worked the braces over his shoulders, undid his belt, and let his trousers fall to the floor. He sat on the bed as Anna took the bottle of lotion from the bedside table and handed it to him. He rolled it between his hands, warming it as Anna loosened the straps on his thigh. She unbuckled the contraption and slipped the cup from his knee, pulling the padding and sleeve away from his leg to set them on the chair next to the bed.

John squeezed some of the lotion onto his leg and Anna began rubbing it into the skin, massaging the muscles there. John sighed at the sensations before unbuttoning his shirt, "I'm more than lucky I've a wife like you to do this for me."

"We're lucky we have this hotel. Could you imagine what a state your knee would be in if you had to climb all those stairs at Downton everyday?" Anna pressed deep into the muscle and John twitched, "Sorry, you've got a knot here."

"You don't say." John winced, "Perhaps you're in the wrong line of work darling. You should've opened a shop for massage."

"The only man I plan on massaging, John Bates, is you. Now hush or I'll do it again."

John silenced, but only for a moment. "Have you ever thought what we'd do if my mother hadn't left us that money?"

"That we'd get by," Anna kept her focus on her treatment of his limb. "I was just thinking we ought to pay Mrs. Patmore and Mrs. Hughes' house a visit, as a thank you for lodging out your mother's house."

"I thought we thanked them by co-signing on their bed and breakfast."

"It never hurts to treat nicely those who are kind, Mr. Bates." Anna tickled behind his knee and John jerked, "Besides, Mrs. Hughes kept an eye on our little cottage the whole time we were away. It'd be the least we could do to book a holiday with their establishment."

"Watching our cottage served her well in the end though, didn't it? Now she and Mr. Carson have it. Who knows what she planned for it while she was there."

"Behave, Mr. Bates, that kind of talk is beneath you." Anna stood, unbuttoning her dress, "They deserve happiness."

"I'm sure they do." John finished undressing and reached for his pajama bottoms. "I'm just happy they let us keep the furniture."

"As am I." Anna grinned and John's hand stopped as he went to put on his pajama bottoms. "It'd be a shame to give up your chair in the sitting room when it has just the right amount of space."

"Anna?"

"You remember. It was only yesterday morning." Anna leaned forward, wearing nothing and not reaching for her nightdress. "I thought it was very memorable but if not then maybe I should try again."

"Repetition never hurt anyone." John choked as Anna took the bottoms from his grip and flung them to the end of the bed.

"You won't need these, Mr. Bates."

"I should hope not." John lay back on the bed as Anna crawled over him, her hair hanging like curtains around them. "You did say you had a very scandalous way to spoil me, Mrs. Bates."

"I do," Anna took John's hands and held them to her abdomen. "Merry Christmas."

John furrowed his brow when Anna just left his hands there but then his eyes shot open. "Truly?"

"I thought so about a month ago but now I'm sure." Anna giggled as John shot up, hugging Anna tightly.

"I just thought you were eating all the pies."

Anna slapped his shoulder, "Thank you very much Mr. Bates. I'll have you know I haven't eaten anything extra."

"If you really are pregnant then I'll make you all the pies you could want." John flipped their positions and began kissing Anna anywhere he could reach. "I'm going to be a father again."

"I'd keep it to myself for the time being," Anna moaned as John kissed over the tops of her breasts. "I don't know how Jack'll respond."

"He'll love having a little brother to run around with." John kissed back up to Anna's face, "Or a little sister to protect."

Anna wrapped her hands around John's neck, grazing at the hair there with her fingers. "Is that what you want?"

"I'll take either as long as they look like you."

"John," Anna raised an eyebrow, "I want a serious answer."

"And that's not serious?" John moved a hand up and started massaging her breast. Anna sighed and John knew she was almost lost. "To just want another child who reminds me of you?"

"I know you want something." Anna struggled to speak as his hands continued and her body moved of its own accord. "If your wish mattered, what would you want?"

"I'd want," John bent and started kissing slowly from Anna's ear to her collarbone. "A little girl with blonde hair that shines like yours does in the light. A little girl I can tuck into bed at night with stories of princesses and castles and handsome princes that are far into the future."

"Keep going," Anna groaned as John moved his mouth to her breasts, speaking between kisses and caresses.

"I'd take her on walks in the park with Jack. We'd name her after my mother, if that's agreeable."

"No," Anna shook her head and John stopped, "If it's a girl I want to name her Mary. Mary Aphrodite."

"You've given this a lot of thought."

"If it's a boy I want Robert." Anna had her eyes closed as John worked his way back to her face.

"How long have you been thinking about this Mrs. Bates?"

Anna finally worked her eyes open, "Long enough to believe we probably don't need a boy's middle name."

"You're sure it's a girl?"

"Someone may have hinted it to me." Anna smiled as John beamed at her. "In a few months we'll know for sure."

"Then Mary Aphrodite it is." John paused, "Shall I get back to spoiling you Mrs. Bates?"

"I thought I was supposed to spoil you?"

"You were," John ran a hand over her stomach, "And you already did. Now I get to show my gratitude."

"I think she's there because you showed me gratitude Mr. Bates." Anna laughed but John ignored her, moving one of his hands lower.

"Something I'll never get tired of doing."

Anna gasped when John's fingers brushed over her and she closed her eyes. "Then don't let me stop you."

John used his other hand to stroke up and down her sides, working his mouth down her body after paying extra special attention to her breasts. She sighed and moaned, giving John all the encouragement he needed to continue. When he reached her sex he gave it the same attention he gave the rest of her.

There was no hurry here. Not like other times when they only had an hour to spare or when Jack might be up any moment. This time John adored Anna the way he always enjoyed. He sucked at her, working his fingers as deep as they could go and scraping inside her to find the spots where her knuckles went white clutching the bedspread or where her nails would scrape along his back. He drove her to the edge with licks and laves that had her hips thrusting out of her control as she tried to keep her voice down so as to not wake up their beautiful child in the next room.

John paused, with Anna panting and gasping, and thought about the next little child they would bring into this house. This house they built together. She looked at him, worried a moment because he stopped, and John made sure she watched as he lowered his lips to her most sensitive bundle of nerves and pulled it into his mouth.

Anna screamed with pleasure as she broke. John could feel her inner muscles tugging at his fingers and felt his own response to that promise. The promise of pulling her to the peak again just to watch her fall over it. The promise that brought joy to their lives and would again with their next child.

He massaged her on the outside and from within as he withdrew, making sure she could come back to earth. John ran his hands up her body, making himself believe for a moment he could already feel the little life growing just above her hip bones. The little bit of joy he could not wait to hold in his arms.

When John reached Anna's face she kissed him, thrusting her tongue into his mouth like she wanted to clear it of all tastes but his. John sank into the kiss, enjoying when Anna was this wrecked. When all the walls anyone builds, even on accident, come down. When they were almost one person again.

John was so caught up in his musings that he did not notice when Anna wrapped her hand around him. His hips bucked, already prepared after driving her to the edge, and worked toward her experienced hand. She broke their kiss to lick her lips, her hand determined in its efforts to have him straining and pulsing in her grasp.

"I think it's time for you to get spoiled Mr. Bates."

He could not find words to respond so he used his actions instead. John pressed into Anna and her head went back, holding his side and groaning as her nails dug in there. He hung his head, loving the feel of her around him in every way possible. He withdrew and thrust in again, sending her body shuddering as he stirred her still buzzing nerves.

They kept the pace slow, Anna moving her body to counter his and eventually locking her ankles around his waist so he could strike her as deeply as possible. They did not speak so much as match one another's sounds of pleasure in a dance older and more primal than even the entity that led them together. John saw the blush rise in Anna's cheeks and pressed on her to counter his movements to bring her over the edge again just before he finished.

He kissed her, lightly, and she held him close. A moment later they rolled sideways, still embracing but so John kept his weight off Anna. Not that there was as much weight anymore. He never did quite gain back the weight he lost in France but she held him close anyway. Like on the nights he woke with nightmares and she worked herself under his arms to make sure he knew he was home and not back there. Or when she sometimes rubbed at his prosthetic before realizing he could not feel it and worried he might think her callous for not remembering.

None of that mattered in the end. Only they did. They survived it all so far. They would survive whatever else came for them.

Anna sighed and brought John back to the present. "Do you wonder what happened to her?"

"To whom?"

"Aphrodite." Anna moved to look at John's face, pulling a blanket around her, "After we moved here I stopped seeing her. The last time I saw her was a few months ago, when I first thought I might be pregnant. She told me it'd be a girl and then walked away."

"I haven't seen her since we bought the hotel." John ran his fingers over Anna's exposed arm, "She congratulated us, said Jack looked healthy, and then left."

"I hope she found the love she was looking for." Anna put her head under John's chin, "After all she did for us that's what I wish for her."

"Me too." John mused, thinking back to the flamboyantly gaudy woman sitting across from him on a train ride north. The train ride that changed his life and made everything brighter. "Me too."

The bullet train whizzed through the tunnel before the woman with multicolored hair could see the cerulean ocean. She leaned toward the window, smiling at the sharp drop of the verdant cliffs into the water. So caught up in the scenery was she that she barely noticed the man who took the seat opposite her.

"They say this is the most beautiful part of Taiwan." She looked over at the man, eyebrow raised. He pointed to the window, "Supposedly Hualien is the most beautiful of all the vacation spots in the country."

"I suppose it is." She sat back, "What brings you here?"

"Just looking I guess." He smiled at her.

"Looking for what?"

"I was told, by a friend, that I'd find True Love here." He leaned forward, "You wouldn't happen to know where to find it would you?"

She laughed, "I might."

"Good." The man extended his hand, "My name's Hephaestus."

"Aphrodite." She shook his hand. "I happen to be a bit of an expert on True Love, if you believe it."

"Expert you say?"

"Oh yes." She relaxed back into the seat, "Though your time may be a bit limited."

"Why do you say that?"

"I've recently found a few gray hairs I didn't dye that way." She pulled at her mass as if to show him, "I think the time for me to help others find True Love is fading and now all that's left is for me to find it for myself."

"I may know someone who can help with that."

"I hoped so."

They both turned back to the window, smiling to themselves and to one another through the reflections there.


End file.
